Finding Balance Therapy

06/05/2024

Seven years ago I opened my own private practice. Today I saw my last client. It has been an incredible experience and I have taken much pride in my work with children and families. It has been such a a pleasure to support young children through their challenging times. Thankyou to all the families I have worked with over the years for trusting me with your most treasured. I know I have not relied on this FB site for referrals but felt it was best to announce the closure of Finding Balance Occupational Therapy and Play Therapy officially on this public site.

06/08/2023

Very important read for parents

06/03/2023

Another great post that is worth a read

Anxiety is a felt sense of threat. This doesn’t mean there actually is a threat, it’s about what the brain perceives. The antidote to a felt sense of threat is a felt sense of safety. Again, this has little to do with what is actually safe, but about what that young brain and body need.

So, to offer the antidote to anxiety, we have to understand what that child needs. This will be different for all children, but it will always start with safety through relationship - not just any relationship, but one in which the child feels seen, held, and cared for.

There are a couple of reasons for this. The first is that relational safety is an instinctive need. Babies wouldn’t survive if there wasn’t an adult to take care of them, so children are wired to feel safest with an adult they feel close to, and threatened in the felt absence of one. It’s why relationships are so key to anxiety. Parents can’t be everywhere all the time. Another adult can provide a felt sense of safety in the parent’s absence, as long as the relationship is safe, warm, and loving.

The second reason relationship is so important is because it can unlock the door to that child’s world. When children feel safe, they will show us more clearly what they need, but more importantly, they will let us be the one that provides this in meaningful ways - validation, trust, confidence in their capacity to cope or do hard things, cues of safety. Of course, we can offer all of these things from outside their world, but it might not hold as much heft until they let us in. Only then will they grant us enough authority to guide and influence them.

Entry into their world only happens by invitation, and only when they’re ready. This will take time. We can’t force our way in, or talk our way in. It just doesn’t work that way, for any of us. It takes time, a gentle hand, an open heart, and a curious mind. Rather than telling them they’re safe, we’ll get further by asking or noticing what makes them feel safe or unsafe. Then, when they open the door to us, they will be more likely to believe us when we tell them they are safe, that they are brave enough and strong enough, and that they can do hard things.

02/03/2023

In Play Therapy, children often play through fighting the monsters as they work towards vanquishing the demons and those feelings of powerlessness, emerging feeling stronger and more powerful.

01/03/2023

Play & Connect is the leading mobile Paediatric Speech Pathologist serving Perth Hills and offering teletherapy Australia-wide for children ages 2-12. Call now.

01/03/2023

We have exciting news! Alyssa Drevniak has opened her speech pathology practice from Finding Balance Therapy's clinic in Helena Valley and is accepting new clients. Alyssa is highly qualified and a delightful person and she is a great addition to the hills community. Check out her website: www.playconnectsp.com.au

Play & Connect is the leading mobile Paediatric Speech Pathologist serving Perth Hills and offering teletherapy Australia-wide for children ages 2-12. Call now.

01/03/2023

Please take the time to read this post. It is gold and explains the underlying reasons for many of the challenging behaviours that as parents we experience and long for a better understanding of

The brain’s priority is always safety. This isn’t about about what is actually safe or not, but about what the brain perceives.

A felt sense of relational safety is as important as felt physical safety (freedom from threat, hunger, pain, exhaustion, sensory overload/ underload.

Anything that makes us feel unwelcome, minimised, ignored, shamed, will register threat in the brain. When this happens all resources are diverted to re-establishing felt safety. This means the resources that were being used for play, learning, relationships, good decision making are now being rallied for fight, flight, shutdown.

On the outside this can look like fight behaviour (aggression, anger, tantrums, irritation, frustration), flight behaviour (avoidance, procrastination, disconnection, clinginess or difficulty separating (if they don’t have a felt sense of enough certainty of relational safety in the environment they’re going to), or shutdown and withdrawal.

This is why validation and connection is so important before we try to correct, redirect or teach. When they feel close to us, and when they can see our intent is to support them through a hard time, or work with them on ways to do better next time, we will have full access to the thinking brain. We need this if we want to guide, teach, and have meaningful influence.

Of course, this doesn’t mean ‘no boundaries’. It means be firm on the behaviour (‘I won’t let you …’) but gentle on the relationship (‘And I’m right here …).

It also means separating them from their behaviour, (‘You’re a really great kid. I know you know that behaviour isn’t okay. How can you put this right?’)

It’s also why making sure an anxious child has an adult at school they feel close to and safe with is an important part of moving through separation anxiety at school. Remember though, separation anxiety or big behaviour at school doesn’t mean they aren’t safe, just that the brain isn’t quite convinced yet. Relationships take time and trust takes time, but the investment in that time will always be worth it.♥️