Coach Carly

22/11/2025

10 SIGNS YOU’RE BEING MANIPULATED

(It’s the subtle s**t that steals your power)

Manipulation isn’t always the obvious, movie-villain stuff. 🦹

Sometimes it’s soft, sneaky, and served with a side of “but I’m only saying this because I love you babe.”

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling confused, guilty, or like your brain got fu**ed over by someone who swears they “did nothing wrong”… I totally know how that feels. 🥺

You’ve probably been manipulated, which is hard to swallow if you consider yourself a good judge of character like I do!

Here are the big 10 signs; the ones most people miss until they’re knee-deep in self-doubt wondering if they’re the crazy one.

1: THEY RE-WRITE HISTORY, SOMEHOW YOU END UP ALWAYS BEING THE ONE IN THE WRONG 😑

You remember EXACTLY what was said.

They remember… a version that makes them the victim and you the bad guy.

So you start doubting your own memory (an effect of gaslighting), leaving them looking like a smug f**kwith. 😏

Classic manipulation move.

2: YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR HAVING YOUR OWN NEEDS

You ask for emotional connection, consistency, respect - you know, basic human things.

They act like you’ve asked them to donate a kidney. 🫘

Suddenly the conversation flips and you’re apologising for the gazillionth time.

3: THEY WEAPONISE YOUR VULNERABILITY

“I had a s**tty childhood.”

“I’ve got anxiety.”

“No one’s ever cared about me like you.”

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.”

Important note: trauma is real.

But manipulating you because of trauma?

It’s NOT ok. 👎🏻

If every boundary you set leads to a sob story, you’re being manipulated.

4: YOU’RE WALKING ON EGGSHELLS

Before you speak, you calculate the reaction and all the different possible versions that could go down.

Will they sulk? Blow up? Act like you don’t exist for 48 hours even when you’re right next to them?

Healthy relationships don’t require tactical communication strategies just to make it through the day. 🥷

5: THEY SAY YOU’RE OVERREACTING TO EVERYTHING

You: “That hurt me.”
Them: “Get over it, it wasn’t that bad.”

You: “That wasn’t okay.”
Them: “Stop being so dramatic”

They don’t want to be held accountable, so they make out like you’re the problem. 🥺

6: THEIR “JOKES” ARE ACTUALLY JUST HUMILIATION

If their humour is just thinly disguised cruelty with a “lol you’re too sensitive” if you get hurt, that’s not a joke.

That’s someone using humour as a weapon and calling it banter.

I bloody love good banter, but never if I think it will actually hurt someone. 😢

7: THEY USE YOUR EMPATHY AGAINST YOU

You’re kind, caring, compassionate.

This leaves you vulnerable to being used and abused by a manipulator. 🫣

They twist your kindness into obligation.

You end up giving more, they end up giving a big bag of f**k all. ❌

8: THEY WITHDRAW LOVE WHEN YOU “STEP OUT OF LINE”

Say no and set a boundary?

Have an opinion?

Need something?

Nek minit: coldness, distance, withholding affection, ghosting or acting like you’re a mahoosive inconvenience to them. 🫥

Manipulation is all about “love” with a bunch of conditions that only seem to ever suit the manipulator.

9: YOU CONSTANTLY FEEL CONFUSED 😵‍💫

Manipulation often shows up as a vibe more than an action.

If you’re constantly second-guessing yourself, questioning reality, or trying to decode their latest mood swing… something’s not right.

Healthy love makes your nervous system feel safer, not confused.

10: YOUR ENERGY FEELS DEPLETED

When you’re being manipulated, you don’t always see it, but your body knows.

You feel drained, like something (someone) is sucking the life out of you (and you keep giving them the straw).

Anxious. Off. Like you’re shrinking, becoming a shell of your former self. 🐚

Manipulators don’t need to shout to control you. Sometimes they just slowly erode your power insidiously over time until you forget you had any.

If you read this list and felt called out because someone’s been doing this s**t to you, please know this:

You’re not imagining it. You’re not dramatic. You’re not “too much”. You’re not losing the plot. 🤯

You’re just being manipulated by someone who wants you to stay stuck.

And once you see the game?

You stop playing it.

Checkmate, f**kwit. ♟️

If you’re ready to rebuild your self-worth, understand your patterns, and stop attracting manipulative f**kwits altogether, join my online coaching program Project Self-Worth.

This is the work that changes your whole f**king life. 🥰

Comment/reply/DM me “LOVE” and let’s chat.

Catcha on the flip side,

Coach Carly xx

C O A C H I N G
T H R O U G H
C H A N G E +
T R A U M A ❤️

20/11/2025

FEELING LIKE DOG’S BALLS? HERE’S YOUR PERMISSION SLIP TO STOP “BEING STRONG”

I was chatting to a friend the other day who was really in struggle town that day and for the previous few days.

Nothing had seemed to be going right with her health, biz, money, relationship… anything really.

She was giving herself s**t because she knows all these amazing coaching and healing tools to be able to snap herself out of a funk… but sometimes this leads to spiritual bypassing when what we really need is to just FEEL what we’re feeling. 🥹

To admit that yep, we feel like f**king dogs balls and can’t be arsed to use any of the tools that may help.

Which can lead to us feeling guilty that what we really want is to just wallow in the pain of it all…. 🫣

To eat a tub of Ben and Jerrys. 🍦

To go to bed and pull the sheets right over our head for 12 hours. 💤

To turn the phone off and ignore the world.
To shout, yell and scream at nothing and nobody in particular… 😱

…instead of doing “all the things” we “should” be doing.

Give yourself grace.

If what you really need is a f**king break from it all, do yourself a solid and take a break.

If, on the other hand, this is more of a pattern of avoidance… well that’s a different blog altogether. 🤔

You need to stop avoiding the thing.

So which is it, legend?

Ask yourself: what is it that I most need right now?

Listen to your intuition instead of continuing to push it out of the way.

You’ll thank yourself in the end.

If this hit a little too close to home and you’re stuck in that “I should be coping better” shame spiral… come and join us in From Surviving to Thriving.

It’s where you actually learn the tools to shift your state without bypassing your feelings so you can stop white-knuckling life and start genuinely feeling better (not pretending to).

Doors are always open, legend. You don’t have to do the s**tty days alone. 🤗

Comment/reply THRIVE if you want to know more.

As always, if you want a guide on your journey, drop me a message and let’s chat about how coaching and/or energy work can help.

Plus come over and join my free group here:

facebook.com/groups/survivetodreamlife/

Catcha on the flip side,

Coach Carly xx

C O A C H I N G
T H R O U G H
C H A N G E +
T R A U M A ❤️

20/11/2025

18/11/2025

YOU DESERVE A BREAK

As I was nearing the end of my time in a day-job in Corrections In January to work in my biz full time, I got so excited about all the extra time I’d have and all the extra cool things I could do in my biz. 💫

My pattern in life has always been to totally overload myself with way too many things to do, which sometimes doesn’t seem like it’s to my detriment because I actually LOVE the work I do. 💕

Then life got extra busy with me selling a house, buying our dream house, renovating and selling a third house and that took a good few months to calm down.

Finally, my nervous system landed in an amazing place with chilled vibes in a chilled house. 🏡

And that old pattern reared its head again, which is easy to do as when you love all the things you do it’s so easy to just keep saying yes to all the clients wanting to book in!

And then, I found myself totally knackered for a few weeks… partly due to perimenopause, partly due to a chronic pain flare up, but mostly due to the fact I was fully booked with 1:1 clients and group workshops.

I realised I’d just swapped one lot of busy-ness for another. 🤔

I’ve been SO used to working 6-7 days a week when I was working full time and running my biz on the side, then phasing out of work and increasing my biz clients, that I had totally normalised a 6-7 day week.

My mantra was “it’s not work if you love what you do!” and to an extent that’s totally true.

But it meant that when I tried to set a “Carly Day” off work, someone would want to book in and I didn’t have space for another 3 weeks so I’d just book them in on my day off.

This led to me forgetting all about days off. 🥹

So for the last few weeks/months I’ve been feeling increasingly behind with my to-do list as I’m often back to back with clients, leaving limited time to create content.

And no time at all for a day off!

So after a lot of consideration (because it has meant needing to let some clients down), I’d finally figured out what’s going to be working for me, and will be taking 3 days off a fortnight with an extra day blocked out for no clients - just life and biz admin.

This gives me two days with Hot Fiance to focus on just us, one full Carly Day to recharge my batteries alone, and one day to get on top of any admin so I feel like I’m on top of things. ☺️

I had to have some difficult chats with clients, but ultimately they understood that for me to be able to bring 100% of my best self to our sessions, I need time to recharge my batteries. 🪫 👉🏼 🔋

I’m excited to be able to have a sleep in, sunbathe by our pool, hit the beach, read more books, take long slow walks, spend time with my big and little loves and just generally be more present. 🏝️

Being a solopreneur is amazing, but it’s also a journey of trial and error in finding the right routine for you, because we’re all so different.

To all my biz owner friends, I see you working your butts off too.

I see your tiredness and stress. 🥱 💤

Give yourself grace, give yourself time off to get clarity on how to fit your biz into your life - NOT the other way round.

Because none of us ever set up businesses to be working over 12 hours a day seven days a week.

I created a freebie especially for you called Carve Out Your Big Vision + Create Your Dream Biz - so you can get crystal clear on how you want your life and biz to look and feel.

Want it?

Comment/reply VISION and I’ll send you the link.

Running a small biz is so much better when you’ve got other biz owners in your corner! 👏🏼

As always, if you want a guide on your journey, drop me a message and let’s chat about how coaching and/or energy work can help.

Plus come over and join my free group here:

facebook.com/groups/survivetodreamlife/

Cheering you on, legend,

Coach Carly xx

C O A C H I N G
T H R O U G H
C H A N G E +
T R A U M A ❤️