13/12/2025
Here’s to all the parents who may feel guilt for co-sleeping (likely out of necessity with non sleeping babes!) you are building a human who has a fully developed nervous system, and science is slowly catching up to its effect.
I know for me the guilt I felt with my first being unable to tolerate the screaming and crying and ‘controlled settling’, and constantly being ‘encouraged’ to get him in his own cot, when I knew full well he had tummy issues, and the cry wasn’t one of over stimulated or overtired, but genuinely needing me to regulate. Babies arent inherently ’bad’ or controlling, they are under developed compared to most other animal species, and need a much longer period of closeness, comfort and attachment for their best chances of survival.
I have been challenged this week around my sleep choices and their longer term impacts, which has me thinking, would I do the same again?? Yep, I most definitely would. Do I know that it has been positive? Sure do. My kids know that I will always be there for them and that it’s my job keeping them safe so they can be sure and comfortable being happy and much more settled kids.
No judgement or guilt intended whatsoever for parents who have unicorn babies who sleep or who may be unable to cosleep for whatever reasons needed. All sleep choices are personal, and no one should ever guilt you into their preferred option.
All power to you, you do you.
Researchers have found that babies who sleep close to a parent receive, on average, 13,000 additional hours of comforting touch by the age of three. Far from creating “bad habits,” this extra physical contact plays a powerful role in regulating a baby’s nervous system. Touch helps stabilize heart rate, calm stress responses, and support more consistent sleep patterns. In these early years, a baby’s brain is wiring itself through experience, and close contact provides a steady stream of signals that the world is safe.
This sense of safety boosts immunity, strengthens emotional resilience, and supports healthier brain development. When a baby feels protected, cortisol levels drop and neural circuits responsible for learning, memory, and emotional balance strengthen. Over time, this consistent closeness builds what psychologists call secure attachment, a foundation linked to better confidence, social skills, stress management, and relationship stability well into adulthood.
Sleeping close isn’t about dependency. It is about connection. Babies rely on cues from a caregiver’s warmth, heartbeat, breath, and presence to regulate their own still developing systems. These early moments of touch create deep biological benefits that last long after childhood. What looks simple — holding, soothing, keeping a child nearby is actually shaping the architecture of the growing brain and giving a child the emotional tools needed for a healthier, more secure life.