07/08/2025
“She is Star Goddess and 🕷️ spider woman; she weaves the luminous web that creates the universe. As Earth, the Great Planetary Spirit-Being, she germinates life within Her dark womb.” - The Great Cosmic Mother
Her face decorated with soft folding skin, gently framing her eyes and the luminous gaze. She stared at me with a dimply, endearing smile. I was 4 and can still recall this moment. Her seating place, in a corner of the room, grounding coffee in her lap. I can still recall the musky ol’ smell and the sound of her voice — my great, grandmother Anka.
So how do those seemingly distant memories still act so vividly as an imprint in my imagination? Not only that, but I’m still viscerally experiencing the inner warmth of her luminous gaze and her smile of pure love and divinity.
Fast forward 36 years on, different country. Elders are separated into “homes” to make the transition “easier”, (not sure for whom). Kids are placed in day care to be with other kids, without an elder to hold centre; to hold gaze of presence, lovingly, and to regulate and model to the infant/child. And yet, this vital arch of connection — Life-Death-Life— in the numinous web of relating is needed to complete itself. There is no “elder” in our culture and society — youth is valued — and there is a generational defect crisis existing of the aging trying to do anything possible to stay and look “young”. Leaning into the aging wisdom is frowned upon. We trade - necessity for convenience, family for work, effort for comfort, relationships for social media, intimacy for p**n, carbon body for silicon, spiritual direction for alcohol and drug distraction, and more recently Intuition for Artificial Intelligence.
I’m oscillating in the contrast. I’m attending to the frayed parts of the fabric, the lost parts, forgotten parts, parts that are devalued, frowned upon, pushed away, shamed parts, private parts, parts that are sacred and have a deeper meaning, ancient parts, archaic parts — these parts are living parts — I hold steady to my values — even if it means that I stand alone. 🕷️