24/10/2023
Anger – is it good or bad?
Like any other emotion, anger has benefits when experienced and released in constructive ways. So why is there so much negativity and judgement around anger opposed to other emotions?
From a trauma informed clinical perspective, the answer might lie in our early childhood years, where our psyche is encoded to protect our existing attachments to our guardians at all costs. This results in feelings of shame, or fear of rejection/abandonment, whenever our anger outbursts are met with harsh criticism, dismissiveness or avoidance from our guardians. This solidifies another generation’s learned perspective that anger is inherently wrong and destructive. Then as we grow, we repress little frustrations and we push aside mounting anger – until it becomes overwhelming and we experience an outburst of uncontrollable rage – verbal, physical, self-destructive. Which further reinforces our own, and onlookers’ perspectives that anger is bad.
So how can we change this? Anger has many benefits when controlled – but many disastrous effects if out of control. Accepting and managing our own anger, and learning to release it healthily, leads to owning our anger.
Learning to own our anger is an important step in being our healthiest selves.
If you would like to explore any of this further with a counsellor, visit https://leewong.com.au
