29/01/2026
I thought it was just a consultation, and I wasn't prepared for a medical procedure.
I had an endometrial biopsy today, it ruined my afternoon.
Today was a consultation with the specialist. Brought forward 2 weeks on recommendation from my GP, because, I just haven't been coping with the pain, exhaustion, and other body symptoms.
I was already nervous. The minute anything medical is required, my body goes into a trauma response, and anxiousness goes through the roof.
My partner, who met me at the appointment, coached me through the fear. He assured me, held me and listened to the erratic nonsense that bubbled up and out.
I made it through the door. I breathed. And I was ready to advocate for myself. To discuss my experience and what my body needs.
It was the first time in these months that I actually did feel listened too. I wasn't poo pooed or shut down, and my requests were taken into consideration.
Next minute, I'm on my back, legs in stirrups and undergoing an endometrial biopsy.
I wasn't expecting any medical procedures. I'd barely pulled it together enough just to have the consult.
I understood why it was required. I consented to it. And I knew I had my man right next door if it all got too much.
My body did go into a trauma response and it caused a flare up of pain. I completely disassociated for the rest of the afternoon.
And eventually, after clients calls, kids sports, kids work commitments, dinner and laundry, I finally came home to my body and got my 'ugly cry' out in the shower. I reminded my body that I am safe, I am here, it is now and it's okay to just be here with the big feelings.
I wanted to share this experience today, to normalise what happens when we consent out of necessity. What happens if the mind says yes, but the body says no?
Where do we put those feelings? How do we process and self soothe back into body safety. How do we ask for support while we try to navigate responsibility and hope to land softly into a gentle hug or a cosy bed?
Being trauma informed doesn't mean you don't feel trauma. It just means we have tools to let go and heal a little easier.