Stewart Therapies

14/08/2024

14/08/2024

Many of us up in homes where a parent turned a blind eye to abuse.

As children, we internalize a deep belief that we’re not worth being protected. That something is inherently wrong because a parent didn’t step up and say “that’s not ok, and I won’t anyone to hurt you physically or emotionally.”

The truth is: lack of protection is a generational cycle. One where adults dissociate and/or deny what’s happening to cope.

Protection is incredibly important for the healthy development of self. We need to witness adults who set clear boundaries, who assert themselves when needed, and who don’t please or appease to avoid the wrath of another person.

If you weren’t protected as a child, it’s not because of something you did. Or who you were. It’s a response— a response to the failure of an adult to understand what your needs were.

A response to existing in a world where domestic emotional abuse and neglect is so normalized, many people don’t even know it’s happening. And on a deeper level, don’t understand the lifelong impact on a persons psyche and physical health.

Break the cycle. Be the person you needed for yourself— your own protector, advocate, and compassionate friend

13/06/2023

Discover how emotional dysregulation relates to insecure attachment and how it might affect your romantic relationships.

13/06/2023

When your partner is in pain, emotional or physical, their brain can’t take in logic and details. What is most comforting to suffering is engaged, but non-anxious presence. It often involves soft touch and it sounds like phrases which are simple and soothing. The more simple the better. This is because pain exists in the part of the brain which is the most primitive…it transcends words and information. It doesn’t speak “words,” it speaks “feels.” It’s the same part of the brain shared by distressed babies and horses (among many other animals). How would you soothe a baby in distress? How would you soothe a horse in distress? Nobody tries to talk babies and animals out of hurting because they intuitively know it’s not possible. When left to intuition, most people (regardless of gender) will instinctively show up with soft, simple, soothing phrases. Growing up in a culture where logic is encouraged over emotional attunement, independence over interdependence, stifles this essential part of our humanity and for our relationships to thrive we need to learn how to reclaim it. The next time your partner is in distress, try to show up as a soothing presence, not a fixer. You can give advice later if you need to, but don’t lead with it. To be a comforting presence the goal can never be to “take the pain away”……but paradoxically comforting presence is the very thing which creates the space for the pain to move through at its own pace.

13/06/2023

13/06/2023

1. Take control of your time.

02/03/2023

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