30/03/2025
Friday, March 21, 2025
Grief:
That moment when you know you are kneeling at the feet of a force that will annihilate you.
A powerful force that has no mercy or reckoning you can rest in .. it’s
very purpose is
“ full on transformation”.
Shhh quiet and steady now .. It doesn’t care about your needs or wants. It doesn’t listen to your begging or plea for relief, it’s very core essence seems cruel to the one who doesn’t understand its impersonal nature ..
and yes ..
how can you possibly accept something that is entirely rearranging the life you once loved and cherished.
It has its own searing indescribable beauty but not one you can count on or know when it will show itself.
First you have to decide if you will survive its merciless grip!
It doesn’t want you to feel healing or relief until you have stared it straight in the eyes and surrendered your will.
You just have to throw yourself fully at its feet and wait.
Days can turn to months maybe years before you get to allow anything else such as “grace” to live along side of this derangement.
The only relief when in the grip of this mighty energy is to have a full yes to it. You don’t get to choose when it comes and you don’t choose when it goes.
It’s mascerating effect will just grind through all of life’s pains one at a time until you are liquidated and stripped of what it came to do.
All identities and dreams ash on the floor.
Wings clipped, face gray, eyes sunken. Unrecognizable.
Although this force is actually a friend, a true ally .. you will hate it. Trust me you will beg it to go.
It will not listen until it’s great work has been completed and the god of your life says “ok enough” she’s ready. Bring her back up and clear her vision. Let her see her new self .. transformed
— Victoria Markham, March 2013
Distilling Down [Collage]. Doug Van Houten
