Jacqueline Hellyer - Relational Sexologist

09/03/2026

On ABC radio’s Nightlife tonight talking about older divorce and walkaway wives!

03/03/2026

Most relationship advice is well-intentioned, focusing on:

Better communication.
Date nights.
Conflict skills.
S*x tips.

And yet many couples tell me:

“We know all this… but nothing really shifts.”

And that’s because love isn’t just about two individuals improving themselves. It’s a relational system shaped by nervous systems, emotional patterns, lifestyle pressures and the broader ecosystem you live in.

I find that when couples stop asking:

“How do I fix you?”

and start asking:

“What are we creating together?”

everything changes.

There’s less blame and more curiosity.

This week’s Erotic Provocateur essay explores why most advice falls short, and what actually works instead.

Link in bio / Substack.

25/02/2026

I find that when couples stop asking:

“How do I fix you?”

and start asking:

“What are we creating together?”

everything changes.

There’s less blame and more curiosity.

This week’s Erotic Provocateur essay explores why most advice falls short, and what actually works instead.

Link in bio / Substack.

18/02/2026

About me and my work as a s*x therapist, s*xologist and relationship counsellor based and how I help individuals and couples worldwide to create more conscious, connected, and erotically alive relationships. 🌹

More at the 🔗 in bio x

18/02/2026

About me! 💗

Some more inform on my work as a s*x therapist, s*xologist and relationship counsellor based and how I help individuals and couples worldwide create more conscious, connected, and erotically alive relationships.

Link 🔗 in bio for more x

13/02/2026

I've decided to set up a 24hour half price Valentines day sale for my Couples Intimacy Masterclass ♥️

The Couples Intimacy Masterclass is my signature program, a powerful online journey that helps you and your partner deepen connection, reignite passion,and create lasting love ✨

Discount code: Valentine

Discount open until midnight Saturday 💕

06/02/2026

So many people who come to me think they have a libido problem.

They say things like:
“I have a low s*x drive.”
“My partner wants s*x more than I do.”
“We have mismatched libidos.”

But in the vast majority of cases, what I see clinically is not a lack of libido at all.

What I see is nervous systems that are exhausted, overstimulated, and out of sync.

Modern life is very good at keeping us switched on. Deadlines, devices, stress, scrolling, noise, cognitive load, performance pressure…

This all keeps us living in a chronically up-regulated state. We move from task to task, screen to screen, problem to problem, rarely giving our bodies the conditions they actually need for erotic aliveness.

And then we wonder why desire doesn’t magically appear on cue.

The problem is not that people don’t want s*x.

The problem is that their bodies are not in a state where desire can grow.

Desire is not arousal (and arousal is not desire)

Read more in my bio 🔗

06/02/2026