20/10/2024
I took hold of the microphone and met the eyes of the 200 men before me as they eagerly awaited my words
Then a flash back from 4 years ago sent a wave of electric energy rippling through my body...
I was standing face to face with the man who was about to initiate me into mens work
He was about to show me who I really was
I was f***ing terrified
I had heard of these processes before and knew that I was about to face a darkness inside of me that would consume my entire being
My deepest darkest shame, anger, fear and guilt were about to be let out of the cage
4 other men circled around me and took hold of my arms
They were there to witness me in my fullest expression and to keep me safe
I set my intention and started to verbally express myself… and then It happened…
I burst into a fit of rage as I tried to kill the man in front of me
28 years of suppressed energy was coming online
I wanted blood
The 4 men holding me back had their work cut out for them
I was the devil himself, dragged from the underworld
Hurling and lunging my body forward, trying to break free
A monster awakened
And then just like that, everything shifted…
I crumbled to the floor and cried like a baby in the arms of the man I wanted to kill
My body was shaking profusely
My nervous system going through a reset
He held me in a hug on the ground and repeated
“I know. I’m sorry Keagan. I love you”
I had been carrying that rage and sadness my entire life and finally, I was given the opportunity to let it out to a group of men who weren’t afraid of it
A group of men who we’re willing to hold me in my inherent darkness
Continued in the comments 👇