21/05/2025
To some this photo is just a photo of a man who appears to be of significant age & decline, having a cigarette on a balcony.
To others it may be just a photo of some beautiful coloured leaves and a nice blue sky.
To him it is the first cigarette and sunshine on his skin in days, it’s a quiet moment shared with me, tears & laughter, a hold of the hand, a thank you, an acknowledgment. It’s a lifetime of questioning choices, a constant reflection, an abrupt battle of trying to maintain independence at home for as long as possible, slowly loosing choice, capacity and control. It’s a slow acceptance that what was, is no longer. A smack bang look in the eye at his mortality. Facing the end of his time on this earth. An uprooted quick exit from home to an emergency presentation, lengthy hospital stay and then a decision to choose the facility that will be his final destination whilst alive. It’s grief within grief - never getting to step foot back home to his belongings or memories, knowing life has changed, grieving his normal, facing the unknown, new faces, new routines, accepting care. Accepting his death.
To me, it is another reason why. A reason to add to my list of all of the reasons why that come before this and all of the future reasons why that will follow this.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, no higher honour 🤍🙏🏼 what a blessing & a beautiful gift this is.
