15/02/2026
Content note: This post discusses sexual violence in a non-graphic, educational way. Please take care of yourself and scroll past if now isn’t the right time. 🤍
Challenging some uncomfortable myths about sexual offending.
We often talk about who survivors are.
And we usually hold a vague idea that perpetrators are “bad men”, “monsters”, or strangers in dark alleys.
But the reality is much closer to home.
In Australia:
• Around 97% of sexual offenders are men
• Around 84% of perpetrators are personally known to the victim
• Around 92% of sexual assaults are never reported to police
(ABS, 2022)
The Epstein case doesn’t just reflect an issue that operates at the ‘elite’ levels of society. It’s such an important case because it mirrors what happens at every level of society.
Here.
In Australia.
In our homes.
In our workplaces.
In our communities.
We’re taught to view victims through a relational lens as our sisters, mothers, daughters, partners, aunties, grandmothers, friends, colleagues, the person who makes our coffee each morning at the local cafe.
However, reports of sexual harm, or violence against women in general, tend to be minimizing, sensationalist (“Panic at the Bistro”, Courier Mail, 2026), or focusing on the career and impact of the perpetrator (eg “Top Sydney barrister found dead after shock charge”, news.com.au, 2026).
This framing creates a lens of cultural blindness and actively helps harm hide in plain sight.
Which means there is less emphasis on the uncomfortable truth that perpetrators are also relational: brothers, fathers, husbands, uncles, grandfathers, friends, colleagues, the guy at the footy club.
Not “others”.
Not “monsters”.
And, most importantly, not always obvious.
More often than not, they are people who are trusted, liked, respected, and socially protected.
This is part of why sexual harm remains invisible, minimised, and so rarely held to account. The manipulation doesn’t stop with the victim; it often extends to everyone around the perpetrator who has been convinced they are a “good guy”.
NSW has just abolished the use of “good character references” in sentencing for sexual offences, acknowledging how often reputation has been used to minimise harm and protect perpetrators.
You can read about that here:
https://www.nsw.gov.au/ministerial-releases/nsw-to-abolish-good-character-at-sentencing
The deeper question for all of us is this: Are we willing to let go of the myth that danger only looks like a stranger and start facing the much harder truth about how harm actually hides in plain sight?
Because prevention doesn’t start with fear. If fear were enough, survivors wouldn’t still be fighting a system that keeps failing them.
It starts with believing survivors, challenging myths, and being willing to hold people accountable even when it’s socially uncomfortable.
We don’t end sexual violence, and violence against women in general, by continuing to pretend it looks like a stranger.
We end it by being brave enough to face what it actually looks like and changing what we tolerate.
