Counselling, Psychotherapy, Consulting & Corporate Psychology & Coaching

03/04/2026

Nobody talks about this one.

Because the conversation about who is unhappy in relationships almost always starts and ends in the same place. Her feelings. Her needs. Her emotional labor. Her unmet expectations. And those things matter. They genuinely do.

But somewhere in the middle of all that, something got forgotten.

Him.

Not the version of him that provides and fixes and shows up. Not the function of him. Him. The man underneath all of that. The one who also has days where he's running on empty. Who also carries things he doesn't say out loud. Who also needs to feel like his presence in the relationship is a source of something good and not just a resource being managed.

His happiness matters.

And in a lot of relationships it becomes the last thing on the list.

Because he doesn't complain the way she does. Because he internalizes instead of externalizes. Because he keeps showing up even when showing up costs him more than anyone realizes. And because he loves her, he adjusts. He shrinks the need. He files the hurt somewhere quiet and keeps going.

Until he can't anymore.

That's usually when it ends. Not with a dramatic fight. Not with a clear moment anyone can point to. Just a man who slowly stopped feeling like his happiness was anyone's concern and eventually made peace with the relationship by leaving it.

And she's blindsided.

Because he never said anything.

But he did. Not always in words. In the sighs that went unasked about. In the moments he went quiet and nobody followed him there. In the way he stopped bringing certain things up because the response never made it feel worth it.

A relationship built only around her happiness isn't a partnership.

It's a performance with one person doing all the feeling and the other doing all the carrying.

The strongest relationships are built by two people who take turns asking the same question.

Are you okay. And I mean really.

When did you last ask him that and actually wait for the honest answer.

26/03/2026

Unsurprisingly

A new study reveals that women experience greater romantic jealousy when a potential rival has highly feminine facial features. While this effect occurs in both heterosexual and le***an women, it is significantly stronger among straight women.

24/03/2026

Female intersexual competition

00:00 The Dynamics of Female Competition02:43 The Significance of Hair and Beauty Standards05:34 Understanding Male Preferences and Female Signals08:37 The C...

24/03/2026

At 95, the voice that once dissected empires, exposed propaganda, and awakened generations has gone silent.

Noam Chomsky can no longer speak or write. The man who spent more than seven decades using language as a scalpel—cutting through official lies, corporate myths, and historical amnesia—has lost the very tool that defined his existence. Yet the words he left behind continue to burn, refusing to fade even as the man who shaped them can no longer add to them.

Here are some of the clearest, most unflinching lines he ever wrote or spoke:

“There are no poor countries, only failed systems of resource management.”
A single sentence that dismantles the myth of “underdevelopment” and places responsibility where it belongs: on structures of power, extraction, and deliberate inequality.

“No one will place the truth in your mind; it is something you must discover for yourself.”
He never offered easy answers or spoon-fed certainties. He demanded intellectual labor—because real understanding cannot be outsourced.

“If you want to control a people, create an imaginary enemy that appears more dangerous than you, then present yourself as their savior.”
Written long before the post-9/11 era, this remains one of the most precise descriptions of manufactured consent and perpetual war ever articulated.

“One of the clearest lessons of history: rights are not granted; they are taken by force.”
No sugar-coating. No illusion that power yields because it is polite. Rights come from struggle, not benevolence.

“There is a purpose behind distorting history to make it seem like only great men achieve significant things. It teaches people to believe they are powerless and must wait for a great man to act.”
He saw the cult of the heroic individual as a pacification strategy—a way to keep ordinary people from recognizing their collective capacity.

“The world is a mysterious and confusing place. If you are not willing to be confused, you become a mere replica of someone else’s mind.”
He celebrated intellectual discomfort. Certainty, he argued, is often the enemy of thought.

“To control people, make them believe they are responsible for their own misery and present yourself as their savior.”
The psychology of neoliberalism distilled into nineteen words.

“The West will one day regret its shallow ideas that alienate people from their true nature. One must seek the right religion and the right belief.”
A late-life reflection that surprised many who assumed Chomsky was purely secular. He was critiquing not faith itself, but the spiritual void left by materialism and consumerism—a void that leaves people vulnerable to authoritarian answers.

These are not isolated aphorisms. They form a coherent worldview built over decades of relentless analysis. Chomsky never stopped asking: Who benefits? Who pays the price? Whose voices are erased? Whose suffering is made invisible? He treated power not as an abstraction but as a concrete, observable force—something that can be mapped, named, and resisted.

His intellectual range was staggering. He revolutionized linguistics with the theory of generative grammar, showing that humans are biologically wired for language. He applied the same rigor to politics, exposing how media, corporations, and governments manufacture consent. He documented U.S. foreign policy not as a series of “mistakes” but as a consistent pursuit of dominance—whether in Vietnam, Central America, the Middle East, or beyond. He refused the comforting narratives that protect the powerful.

And he paid for it. He was surveilled by the FBI, denounced as a traitor, accused of being an apologist for genocide, denied platforms, and marginalized by mainstream media even as his books sold in the millions. He never softened his critique to gain acceptance. He never traded clarity for comfort.

Now, at 95, aphasia has taken his speech and much of his ability to write. The mind that once produced thousands of pages of analysis, hundreds of lectures, and countless interviews is no longer able to express itself in words. Yet the work remains. The books are still in print. The lectures are still watched. The ideas are still debated, still resisted, still used by people fighting for justice in every corner of the world.

His silence now is not defeat. It is the final chapter of a life spent insisting that truth is not something handed down from authority—it is something ordinary people must discover, defend, and act upon together.

We no longer hear his voice.
But we can still hear the echo of what he asked us to do:
Question everything that protects the powerful.
Refuse to accept manufactured enemies.
Recognize that rights are never given—they are taken.
And never stop being confused long enough to become someone else’s replica.

That is the legacy he leaves. Not a monument. Not a statue.
A set of questions that refuse to die.

And a quiet, persistent demand:

Keep looking, thinking, and keep fighting.

Because the truth is still out there.
And it still needs to be discovered.

03/03/2026

Polyvagal theory explains much of emotional life

The question of "What is Polyvagal Theory?" is a common one, and we find that one way to deepen your understanding is to view the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) through this diagram, reviewed and approved by our co-founder, Dr. Stephen Porges himself.

Why did we create this version of an ANS graphic? Well, sometimes Polyvagal Theory is misrepresented in the infographics that spread widely across the internet. Some illustrations ignore the very important hybrid states you'll find here; even more forget to show that these states happen on a continuum. And very few mention that behavioral reactions differ greatly depending on whether we detect an environment of safety or one of threat.
In our portrayal of the Autonomic Nervous System States, we've included lots of details to give you an even more comprehensive polyvagal-informed lens.

If you're looking to learn more about Polyvagal Theory and the vagus nerve, be sure to give us a follow, visit our website, and join our mailing list. As a non-profit organization and The Founding Home of Polyvagal Theory™, we bring robust educational courses and trainings, events, and resources to the global community. Discover more through the links in our bio and at our website, polyvagal.org

01/03/2026

Survey Conclusions: From Insight to Action… what 244 Australians told us

This week I shared results from the survey on practical, achievable advocacy for men and boys in Australia (575 comments, Dec 2025–Feb 2026). Across five posts, one message kept resurfacing: Australians want calm, evidence-based reform that improves outcomes (without turning gender into a zero-sum war).

The strongest signals across the whole survey
1) Save lives: targeted su***de prevention for men and boys was the clearest “north star”.
2) Fairness in health: a strong push to rebalance public spending and redesign services so men actually use them…
3) Keep boys engaged: lift education completion and pathways (school-to-trades-to-work), strengthen literacy, and increase positive male role models.

What the final open-ended question revealed
When people were invited to comment freely on disparities, advocacy, The Relentless War on Masculinity, and Celebrating Masculinity, the patterns were strikingly consistent:

A) “Fair go” and respect for males in public narratives
Many feel boys and men are routinely framed as problems to be fixed, not as people to be understood and cared for… Deep bias and discrimination, which harms boys/young men in particular.

B) Fatherhood and families matter deeply
There is a large cluster of issues linked to male wellbeing, father involvement, separation, plus bias and unfairness in family law.

C) The coalition path is the only way
Some respondents want a tougher, more confrontational stance. But many urged a broad, constructive approach that brings women along and stays focused on measurable outcomes. The former hardens division, while the latter opens opportunities to move forwards.

D) Community, belonging, purpose
Loneliness, social isolation, and the need for male-positive spaces and mentoring came up repeatedly: as prevention, not just treatment.

A flavour of the voices
“A fantastic book, thankyou David. Males and masculinity need to be celebrated not ridiculed.”
“Seen some good stuff from Celebrating Masculinity, but sometimes it comes on a bit strong… may scare people (especially women) off.”
“Supporting men doesn't mean stealing from women, it's about acknowledging both genders face struggles and have specific needs.”
“50/50 custody in divorce courts would resolve a lot of inequality.”
“Loneliness in middle-aged and especially older men is significant.”
“We need honest and good faith discussions… to respectfully support males in achieving a good life.”

The call to action: three SMART objectives for the next two years (before the next federal election)
If you’ve followed this series and want to help, here’s where to focus: goals that are pragmatic, centrist, measurable, and friendly to a broad coalition of supporters:
1. Reduce male su***de: commit to a measurable reduction below 2,000 men and boys lost each year (su***de prevention initiatives that target high-risk men and male-dominated workplaces).
2. Fair health funding plus male-friendly services: double funding for research on men’s health, a transparent audit of spending across males and females, and tailor the service delivery of men’s health based on the needs and preferences of males.
3. Education pathways for boys: boost high school completion, add trades and technical pathways, close the literacy gap between boys and girls, and lift male primary school teachers from 18% to 30% of the workforce.

If you want balanced outcomes for women and men, girls and boys, then this is the work we need to focus on… Lives, families, and futures literally depend on it.

Let’s make progress on these practical steps forwards (across families, government, schools, workplaces, and communities), by working together.