14/02/2023
'If you're not getting the reaction you expected in a given conversation, pause and ask your partner, "what did you hear me say?"' - source unknown
I feel really disappointed that I don't know who shared that quote, I'd love to give them their deserved credit, as this is a key point of a Compassionate Conversation!
It is a natural and expected part of communication to experience misunderstandings. Maybe our message doesn't land the way we hoped it would, or perhaps we receive our communication partner's message according to our own world perceptions and individual beliefs rather than theirs.
Either way, miscommunication can lead to unnecessary feelings of shame, embarrassment and disappointment, leading to secondary emotions such as frustration, fear, anger, sadness etc.
So why is it important to hone our ability to strategically communicate with compassion when interacting with our autistic clients, colleagues or employees (and their families)?
There is a myriad of reasons, however, for the purposes of this post (and that you probably don't have the time to read a thesis) I will focus on what I see as the most reoccurring reasons. They are:
💛 Double empathy problem
💛 Negative past experiences (trauma response)
💛 Communication differences
💛 Executive function differences
💛 Anxiety responses
When we approach a conversation (any conversation) with compassion, we give our conversation partner the room to feel THEIR version of safety, to be vulnerable and ultimately to grow ❤️
