Relational Minds

29/01/2026

Most parents are not confused because they do not care.

They are confused because they care deeply and the usual advice is not helping.
So they adjust.
They second guess themselves.
They keep trying, even when they are exhausted.
That is not failure.
That is commitment.

If this feels familiar, you are not broken and you are not alone.

Support should start with understanding what you are carrying, not pointing out what you are doing wrong.

Comment "SCHOOL" if you would like a free back to school ebook guide.

27/01/2026

You are not failing.
You are parenting something that takes more than rules, charts, and good intentions.

Some children need more safety before they can manage expectations.
More understanding before they can manage behaviour.
More connection before they can cope with change.

That does not mean you are doing it wrong.
It means the job is bigger.

If effort alone fixed this, you would not still be here searching for answers.

Save this for the day self-doubt creeps in, and the next couple of weeks is going to highlight that as school returns. We give a free ebook back-to-school topic on this link: https://relationalminds.mykajabi.com/opt-in

26/01/2026

School transitions can be hard on nervous systems, and exhausting for parents.

This guide was created for moments like this. Not because anything is wrong, but because stress is high.

If you want practical tools from our back-to-school guide to support regulation through the school transition, comment “READY” and we will send it to you.

21/01/2026

Coming back from holidays can feel harder than expected.

The packing, the tired kids, and then the realisation that school is about to start again.
Sleep routines feel off.
Emotions are bigger.
Things that should be manageable suddenly feel much harder.

You are adjusting back to work and structure at the same time your child is being asked to do the same. For children with neurodivergent brains, this transition can feel especially big.

They often feel it in their bodies long before they can explain it, and it usually shows up in their behaviour.

There are ways to steady yourself, protect your relationship, and support your child through this shift.

If you are ready to take the next step, comment "READY".

20/01/2026

Back to school pushes many children into overload.
More emotions.
Less flexibility.
Lower capacity.
When your child is escalated, their nervous system is in charge.
Reasoning will not land yet.

The most effective support is co-regulation.
Your tone.
Your pace.
Your presence.
When you slow, their body can follow.

If you want practical tools to support regulation through the school transition, comment "READY" and we will send you our back-to-school guide.

09/01/2026

After the holidays, some children feel less safe inside.
Anger is often the signal, not the problem.

15/12/2025

When Christmas joy turns into meltdown...

It starts with good intentions.
Family around. Noise. New routines. Late nights. Sugar. Expectations.
Then suddenly your child is crying, yelling, refusing, melting down on the kitchen floor while everyone is watching.
If this is your Christmas, you are not alone.
For many parents, this moment brings a rush of feelings.
Embarrassment. Frustration. Guilt. A tight chest.
You might think, “Why is this happening now?” or “I should be handling this better.”
Here is the key reframe.
Your child is not misbehaving. Their nervous system is overwhelmed.
And your job is not to fix the moment. It is to stay regulated enough to help them feel safe again.

Here are some practical ways to use PACE and DDP principles in the Christmas season.

First, regulate yourself
• Pause your body before your words.
• Drop your shoulders. Slow your breathing.
• Remind yourself, “My child is having a hard time, not giving me a hard time.”

Use Acceptance
• Name what you see without judgement. “This is all a bit much right now.”
• Let go of explaining or correcting in the moment.

Lead with Empathy
• Sit low. Soften your voice. “It’s been a big day. Too many people. Too many changes.”

Be Curious on their behalf
• Wonder quietly or aloud. “I wonder if your body is just exhausted.”

Add gentle Playfulness if it fits
• A silly whisper. A shared breath. A light comment.
• If playfulness increases distress, drop it. Safety comes first.

After the storm passes
• Repair. Stay close. “That was hard. I stayed with you. We got through it together.”

Christmas does not need perfect behaviour.
It needs enough safety, enough connection, and adults willing to slow the moment down.
That is how regulation grows.

Thanks for reading. Stay connected, stay curious.

12/12/2025

Australia’s under-16 social media ban has created a rare moment for families.

After years of feeling outpaced by screens, parents finally have a chance to pause, reset and step back into the centre of their child’s emotional world.

In the blog I share a few gentle, practical steps that help families make the most of this reset:
• Meet your child’s first reaction with calm acceptance rather than argument.
• Stay curious about what social media actually gave them, instead of rushing to reassure or correct.
• Build short daily rituals that replace scrolling with small shared moments.
• Use time in as your most powerful tool. Even ten minutes beside your child helps their brain settle.
• Expect some dysregulation as they adjust and respond with steady presence.
• Repair quickly when things get messy so the relationship stays safe.

These are small adjustments that help children feel supported as they lose a familiar coping tool and help parents move out of conflict and back into connection.

If your home has felt stretched by online pressures, this moment may offer the soft reset you have been waiting for.

Thanks for reading. Stay connected, stay curious.

You can read the full Article here: https://relationalminds.com.au/the-soft-reset/

28/11/2025

26/11/2025

Dr Alberto Veloso was honoured to receive AbSec’s Walking Together Award last week. The category recognises non Aboriginal services that work in real partnership with community to improve outcomes for Aboriginal families. The theme for the night was Honour the Past, Empower the Present, Shape the Future. A reminder that children are sacred. They carry tomorrow inside them. Protecting them means protecting our shared future.

The night carried a simple message. Children feel safe when the adults around them move together. They struggle when support keeps changing.
Things only work when a coordinated care system forms around them, when the adults move as one. Their bodies settle because the world around them settles.

This approach sits at the heart of Relational Minds. Our clinicians stay with OOHC children even when they move regions or change placements. We hold their story so they do not have to retell it.

We want to thank Burrun Dalai Aboriginal Corporation for their trust and guidance, and Catherine Liddle from SNAICC for her leadership on the night.
Dr Alberto has written a short reflection on our website for those who want to read more. https://relationalminds.com.au/systems-must-work-as-one

22/10/2025

Parenting a struggling child can feel like you’re running a marathon you never trained for.

Some days you feel strong and hopeful. Other days, you’re just surviving. You try every strategy, every professional, and still wonder if you’re getting anywhere.

But here’s the truth we see every day at Relational Minds — what looks like defeat is often the middle of the story, not the end.
When parents stay connected, when they keep showing up with curiosity and care, healing starts to unfold — slowly, quietly, and deeply.

In my latest article, I share reflections on the long arc of growth — in parenting, in leadership, and in ourselves.

If you’ve ever felt tired, uncertain, or afraid you’re not doing enough, hang in there.

Because when connection leads the way, families don’t just survive — they heal.

22/10/2025

Parenting a struggling child can feel like you’re running a marathon you never trained for.

Some days you feel strong and hopeful. Other days, you’re just surviving. You try every strategy, every professional, and still wonder if you’re getting anywhere.

But here’s the truth we see every day at Relational Minds — what looks like defeat is often the middle of the story, not the end.

When parents stay connected, when they keep showing up with curiosity and care, healing starts to unfold — slowly, quietly, and deeply.

In our latest article, Dr Alberto Veloso shares reflections on the long arc of growth — in parenting, in leadership, and in ourselves.

If you’ve ever felt tired, uncertain, or afraid you’re not doing enough, this piece is for you.

Read it here 👇
🔗 https://open.substack.com/pub/albertoveloso/p/the-space-between-defeat-and-arrival?r=41wjii&utm_medium=ios

Because when connection leads the way, families don’t just survive — they heal.