Relational Minds

Relational Minds Relational Minds provides services in psychiatry, psychology and mental health education and trainin

01/05/2026

If every basic task is turning into a battle, it usually isn’t because your child “just won’t do it”.

Getting dressed. Brushing teeth. Packing a bag. Starting homework. Walking out the door.

These moments can look like refusal, laziness, or defiance from the outside. But often there’s something else going on underneath. Overwhelm. Demand sensitivity. Stress. A gap between what’s being asked and what your child can manage in that moment.

When behaviour starts making sense, your response changes too.

Confident Parent helps you understand what’s driving the resistance and how to guide your child through daily tasks with more calm and more clarity.

Learn more or join here: https://bit.ly/confidentparentgroup

If you’re stuck in the loop of consequences, rewards, and long talks that go nowhere, pause.A lot of the behaviours pare...
30/04/2026

If you’re stuck in the loop of consequences, rewards, and long talks that go nowhere, pause.

A lot of the behaviours parents get pulled into managing are stress behaviours. Not character. Not laziness. Not “they know better”.

When the brain feels unsafe, the thinking part goes offline. That’s why your child can look “fine” later, then fall apart in the moment.

Try this order next time:

Regulate first (lower the heat)
Connect second (show you’re with them)
Correct last (short, clear, calm)
If you want help working out what’s underneath your child’s pattern, we can help you get the full picture and a clear plan.

Next step:

If you need clinical clarity now, enquire for an assessment.
If you want practical guidance straight away, register your interest for the next Confident Parent Program cohort.

28/04/2026

If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells at home, you’re carrying too much.

Explosive behaviour can make you second-guess everything. You try being firmer. More consistent. More structured. And it still doesn’t shift.

That’s often because the behaviour is the surface.

Underneath can be overwhelm, stress sensitivity, past experiences, or a child whose brain goes into threat mode when demands hit. When you understand the driver, you stop cycling through strategies that collapse under pressure. You start responding with more accuracy and more steadiness.

Our Confident Parent Program is a four-week reset for parents who want the full picture and a clear plan.

Check the comments section for the link and register there.

Do your kids rub their face on your skin or do they hang off your arms or wrap around your leg at the most inconvenient ...
27/04/2026

Do your kids rub their face on your skin or do they hang off your arms or wrap around your leg at the most inconvenient times?

I bet many of you recognise this scenario. It can come on without any warning and it can be quite difficult for a parent to realise what is going on. Often the first feeling, the first time you realise what is going on, is you feeling annoyed that your child won't leave you alone or is hanging onto your arm while you are talking to somebody.

This is where understanding childhood development and what dysregulation can look like is so valuable.

We are incredibly proud of the parents who join our parent community, attend our parent groups and come and see us in the clinic, who have noticed significant gains from understanding the subtle signs that their child might need more support. Come and join them!

If you’re living with daily battles over the “small” things, getting dressed, leaving the house, turning off screens, yo...
24/04/2026

If you’re living with daily battles over the “small” things, getting dressed, leaving the house, turning off screens, you’re not alone.

And it’s not automatically bad behaviour. For some autistic kids with a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile, everyday demands land in the body like danger. Their nervous system flips into fight-flight before the thinking brain has a chance to catch up.

That’s why sticker charts, consequences, and more pressure can make the whole thing escalate.

Dr Alberto Veloso has put a full talk on YouTube explaining:
→ what PDA is and what it isn’t (it’s not a formal diagnosis)
→ the brain-based piece behind demand avoidance
→ why “low demand” isn’t giving in
→ what actually helps parents and clinicians de-escalate and rebuild trust

Watch it here: https://youtu.be/SY8ih9RVV8E?si=MATPXZ_Eae6vmIhg

A lot of parenting advice jumps straight to: consequence, reward, sticker chart.That works for some kids, in some season...
22/04/2026

A lot of parenting advice jumps straight to: consequence, reward, sticker chart.

That works for some kids, in some seasons.

But when a child is anxious, neurodivergent, carrying stress, or stuck in shame, behaviour is rarely about “won’t”. It’s often “can’t yet”.

Try this quick PACE reframe:

Instead of: “He’s being defiant.”
Ask: “What is he trying to avoid, escape, or control right now?”

Common drivers we see in clinic:

• overwhelm (too many demands, too fast)
• fear of getting it wrong
• sensory overload
• social threat
• separation stress
• shame after a rupture

Once you can name the driver, your response gets cleaner. Less arguing. More accuracy.

This isn’t your child being “addicted to screens”. It’s a transition problem.It goes like this.You give the warning.They...
15/04/2026

This isn’t your child being “addicted to screens”. It’s a transition problem.

It goes like this.

You give the warning.
They nod like they heard you.
You say “time’s up”.

And suddenly you’re dealing with:

• bargaining (“Just one more!”)
• rage (“I hate you!”)
• running away with the device
• tears that come out of nowhere

If this is your house, you’re not failing.

Screens aren’t the whole story. The hard part is the shift from one state to another, especially when your child is already tired, hungry, anxious, or coming down from the day.

Comment TRANSITION if you want tomorrow’s post on the early signs that a blow-up is coming (so you can step in sooner).

If your child can be calm, kind, and connected at night, then melts down in the morning, it’s tempting to read it as cho...
13/04/2026

If your child can be calm, kind, and connected at night, then melts down in the morning, it’s tempting to read it as choice.

Most of the time, it’s capacity.

Mornings stack up fast: sleep inertia, sensory load, time pressure, transitions, school threat, separation.

When the brain feels unsafe, the thinking part goes offline. That’s why consequences and long talks usually land like fuel.

A steadier first move:
• Lower demand
• Increase co-regulation (your calm body, fewer words)
• Short, clear next step

You’re not “going soft”. You’re meeting the real problem.

Confident Parent Program starts April 16 for parents who are done with strategies that work for two days then collapse.

Autism Month often gets reduced to awareness.Most parents are already aware.What they are actually asking is:“Why does t...
02/04/2026

Autism Month often gets reduced to awareness.

Most parents are already aware.
What they are actually asking is:
“Why does this keep happening?”
“Why don’t the usual strategies work?”

Here’s the shift that changes everything.
Autistic children are not choosing to be difficult.
They are often overwhelmed, uncertain, or trying to stay safe in a world that feels unpredictable.

When we focus only on behavior, we miss what is driving it.
And when we miss that, things escalate.
You might notice:
• Big reactions to small changes
• Strong need for control or predictability
• Shutting down when things feel too much
• Difficulty shifting between tasks or expectations

These are not defiance.
They are signs of a nervous system working hard to cope.
This is where connection matters.

When a child feels understood:
• their stress comes down
• their thinking improves
• their behaviour becomes more flexible
Not instantly. But steadily.

A simple place to start today:
• Slow down your response
• Name what you think they might be feeling
• Stay alongside them, even when it’s hard
• Hold the boundary, but soften your tone
“I can see this is really hard for you” lands very differently to “you need to stop.”

Over time, that difference builds trust.
And trust is what allows change to happen.

Autism Month is not just about awareness.
It is about understanding what your child’s behavior is trying to tell you, and responding in a way that helps them feel safe enough to grow.

It doesn't. One of the questions we hear most often from parents before they join our Confident Parent Group is this: "C...
30/03/2026

It doesn't.

One of the questions we hear most often from parents before they join our Confident Parent Group is this: "Can I come on my own if my partner won't?" Yes. Always yes.

Because here's what we know after years of clinical work with children and families — when even one caregiver truly understands what is happening in their child's nervous system, things shift.
The way you respond changes.
The way your child feels around you changes. And that matters enormously.

The Confident Parent Group is built on the same framework our clinical team uses every week — grounded in neuroscience, attachment theory, and Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy.

It's not a parenting course. It's a way of seeing your child differently. You don't need a co-parent in the room for that.

📅 Starts 16 April 2026
🔒 12 spots only — closes 14 April
💻 Online, anywhere

If you're the one who showed up to read this — you're exactly who this is for.

👉 Link in bio to enroll.

Research published in Current Psychology found that parents with higher perceived social support had children with measu...
25/03/2026

Research published in Current Psychology found that parents with higher perceived social support had children with measurably better mental health. Not because those parents were doing something dramatically different. Because feeling supported changed how they showed up in the relationship.

When parents feel supported, they are psychologically healthier, their relationships improve, and their children experience closer, warmer connections as a result.

Here's the thing: that support doesn't have to come from a therapist. It can come from a small group of people who get it. Who are going through the same thing.
Who aren't going to judge you for the meltdown that happened at 7am.

That's part of what the Confident Parent Group is designed to be.
Four weeks. Twelve parents. Grounded in neuroscience and attachment theory. You learn how your child's brain works, why behaviour that looks like defiance is often distress, and how to respond in a way that actually lands.
But you don't do it alone.

We begin on April 16, and enrollment closes on April 14.
Link in bio.

Address

Suite 13, 33-35 Macedon Street
Sunbury, VIC
3429

Telephone

+61354176188

Website

https://relationalminds.mykajabi.com/Understanding-Your-Childs-Brain-Batch-2

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