21/09/2021
I love this advice from • How to support a friend during her first forty days postpartum.
Under the current restrictions in Australia, as far as I am aware, compassionate care remains a way to provide and access support in the home.
This includes the care of newborn mothers, healing from the most monumental physical, hormonal and emotional event their bodies will ever undertake.
If we care about the future of humanity, this is where it starts.
Visit your new mum friends please.
Bring food.
New mothers need company and witnesses to come and sit with them in non judgement, to let them talk and dissect their birth experience, how they are feeling about becoming a mother, what they are loving and hating.
They need people who knew the before, to meet the after.
An identity death and rebirth is underway.
They don’t need advice giving, they need loving listening while they laugh and cry and marvel over how their baby is the most magnificent thing in the world.
They also need to rest a lot, much more than they think they do. Staying in bed is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.
This means they need practical support. Dishes that need cleaning, a load of laundry put on, windows opened for fresh air, milk stained sheets changed.
Their bodies need tender touch. A foot rub. A shoulder massage. Recovering from birth, breastfeeding, carrying a baby, it’s all hugely physical work.
If that makes you uncomfortable to read, it shows how allergic we have gotten to caring for each other with our hands. You don’t need a massage licence to provide comfort and healing touch to another human.
Treat newborn mothers like newborn babies. Stroke their hair.
If you cannot physically be there for your friend, then I will always and forever recommend food.
Good quality, nutrient dense, postpartum specific (if possible) meals. Warming, easy to digest, full of fats /proteins. If that’s too intimidating, then the next best thing is whatever your favourite dish to make is, cooked with love and intention.