23/03/2026
The scapegoat reframe
Inside of a toxic family system, someone is always assigned the role of the scapegoat. The person who is blamed and found guilty of every crime.
This allows everyone else in the family to avoid looking at their own role.
This often leaves the scapegoated person feeling ashamed, embarrassed, and isolated from the rest of the family.
No matter how hard you try to make things right, usually the scapegoat is not allowed to shift roles.
It can be really challenging to overcome the scapegoat identity: the blamed one. You can end up internalising the way you’ve been treated. This can be a very difficult burden to hold.
Often the only way out is to leave.
Of course, no one wants to leave their family, even when they experience abuse and rejection. For a long time, you hope they’ll change the way they see you.
That maybe... they’ll treat you better some day.
But often you’ll reach breaking point before that day comes.
And this is the beginning of your liberation. You just don’t know it yet.
Once you leave, you’ll begin to find your power. Your way forward.
You’ll stop trying to hold things together. Stop wishing for better outcomes.
And start looking at what you can do with your time, your love, and your energy now that you’re no longer looking back at people who won’t ever treat you differently.
The only way for a stuck family system to change is for the scapegoat to leave and do something different.
You see, only the scapegoat has the power to move out of a dysfunctional family. Everyone else is locked into the way things have always been.
Before you know it, you’ve begun to transform.
And as you step more deeply into your new life, you realise that you’re no longer the scapegoat.
You’ve become something else.
You’ve become the escaped goat.
Because goats? They have freedom. They’re agile climbers in all directions.
Your movement to release yourself from what was in your family system? Will benefit future generations of your family, even if you don’t have kids yourself.
You offered up something new by refusing to tolerate what was any longer. And when no one else could move or change, you could. You did.
If this is you, thank you for being the escaped goat/agent of change in your family. We need every one of you. 🙏
Of course, the answer is that there’s so MUCH more. WELCOME, BEAUTIFUL SOUL! ARE YOU READY FOR MORE CLARITY, PURPOSE AND JOY IN YOUR LIFE? GET IN TOUCH!