28/01/2026
Denise Love came into my life years ago through the birth world, and I participated in some wonderful training with her while she taught her birthy wisdom to pregnant women, new mothers and birth workers.
Sometime later she invited me to undertake her Death Doula training, but it just wasn't the right time for me.
But this month, after having 2 friends lose their fight to cancer last year, and my mother having had a near fatal stroke in late 2024, and her concurrent demise into dementia, I answered the call to start the training, knowing that one day this wisdom will be needed to help someone in my own life.
Tonight I shared our first zoom call with Denise and 27 other "deathies" in training and I can tell it is going to be a very special experience.
My first experience with death was a good friend of mine in year 6 who lost her life to asthma on our school camp, followed some time later with each of my grandparents dying.
But the most involved I have ever been with a sentient being through the dying and death process was my 17yo cat Yinyin, who I held space for until the end. There was a lot of pressure to euthanise her because it was seen as more humane to hasten the process, but given her lack of pathology, I didn't feel like it was the right thing to do and I wanted her spirit to be autonomous for her own end of life.
Death doulaing a fur baby may seem far removed from holding space for a human's end of life, but as I followed along with re-reading excerpts from The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying about how the different elements leave the body during the death process, I know it will be similar with all of us, and I found the experience to be humbling, profound and an honour to witness and be a part of.
It's an uncomfortable truth that we are all going to die one day. And I hope each one of us is held in love so we can die in peace. One day I may be that comfort to someone, whether in my personal life, or if I choose to do this professionally. One day I hope someone will be that comfort to me.
Lets all live our best life with kindness so that we have zero regrets. I hope you can all be part of this important conversation along the way! ✌❤️