08/04/2026
We all take it for granted that physical disabilities should be 'diagnosed' and described early in life - Most of us can see that understanding our differences, focusing on strengths and building a positive narrative around our body and mind, is most supportive of a child's flourishing in life. The same can be understood quite easily for medical illness.
And yet, when we enter the realm of 'invisible' differences and disabilities, such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia, Developmental Language Disorder and mental health, people seem to get lost. Somehow, the autonomy and rights of a child who embodies or experiences invisible differences or disabilities, seems to get overlooked. People, invariably well meaning, sometimes imagine that not knowing, might be more helpful.
But we need to be clear: It's not helpful.
The implications of denying a medical based diagnosis (such as reflux, IBS, asthma, Chron's or cancer), are OBVIOUS.
When we DELAY a developmental diagnosis, what we are doing is DENYing a child ACCESS to their IDENTITY.
Sometimes this is rationalised because family worry that a child will feel bad about their differences if they have a diagnosis. While they wholeheartedly acknowledge that a child seems to be experiencing the world differently, they don't want to 'label it.' In reality, avoiding the use of the language that best describes a childâs experience of the world, is NOT AFFIRMING. When we make this choice, we're propagating stigma.
And remember, in the short term there may not be evidence of any damage. We canât use this to justify our choices though - The story of a LATE DIAGNOSED neurodivergent person, is one of trauma, and the message that is implicitly sent when a teen or adult realizes their loves ones decided not to âsayâ/acknowledge/explore or celebrate their authentic self, can't be unwritten.
Feeling torn or worried about this as a parent or caregiver? Itâs understandable but donât shy away - Dive in head first đŠ đ€ż There is a huge community of and other advocates in this world, and an even bigger community of professionals and allies đ
