28/01/2025
Well said Karen Young - Hey Sigmund. I love your wisdom that shines through years of experience in your practice.
Working through anxiety is very applicable when it comes to nature based play. Through experience and encouragement, playing outdoors, climbing trees, jumping over logs, children learn they can concur held fears and anxiety until it just becomes second nature to them and a place they want to be. They Blossom in Nature! 🌿💚
New, hard, important, brave things will always come with anxiety. It’s the anxiety that makes these things brave.
The only way for kids to never experience anxiety is for us to never put them in front of anything growthful, new, hard, brave. They’ll never feel the discomfort of anxiety, but they also won’t grow and strengthen against it.
We’ll never get rid of anxiety and we don’t need to. The key to strengthening young people against anxiety lies in helping them feel safer with it.
Here are 3 ways to do that. First though, and most importantly, establish that they are actually safe - that they are relationally safe, and that they feel safe in their bodies.
1. Take avoidance off the table. Avoidance makes anxiety worse by teaching the brain that the only way to stay safe is to avoid. Little steps matter - any step, even the tiniest, is better than none.
2. Show them you can handle their anxiety and the big feels that come with it:
‘Of course you feel anxious. You’re doing something big. How can I help you feel brave?’
Or, ‘I know this feels big, and it feels like you can’t. I know you are safe and I know you can. You don’t need to believe it because I know it enough for both of us. I know you won’t believe it until you see it for yourself. That’s okay, that’s what I’m here for - to show you how amazing you are and that you can do hard things. I can take care of you through the ‘big’ of it all. What’s one little step you can take? Let’s take it together. And don’t say ‘no steps’ because that’s not an option.’
3. Help them understand why they feel the way they do when they are anxious, otherwise they’ll interpret sick tummies, sore tummies, racy heart, clammy skin, big feelings as a sign of deficiency or potential disaster. It isn’t. It’s a sign of a brain and body trying to protect them, at a time they don’t need protecting.
As long as they are safe, the need to avoid is often more about needing to avoid the thoughts, feelings, and physiology of anxiety, rather than avoiding the thing itself. This is why the physiology of anxiety will continue to drive anxiety until we make sense of it. ‘Hey Warrior’ will help you do make sense of it for them.♥️