
31/08/2025
In 2025 I’ve struggled a lot with certain behaviours. I hear from my patients who are HCPs that it’s increasingly difficult to provide care when medical mistrust & are common.
Also… I’ve survived abuse & the silent treatment- whether that’s as punishment or as a means of conflict avoidance.
It hurts. It makes me question myself & my worth. It’s taken > a decade to unlearn a lot of that conditioning and to choose to walk away.
It’s also why I choose kindness & clarity - inclg being direct & occasionally abrupt when someone oversteps- over this form of abuse. And it *is* abuse.
I’ve worked to break the cycle & raise my children differently whereby they know that apart from tardiness & not keeping their word, I need signals when we fight due to being the recipient of the silent treatment in the past when I’d get punished more for trying to seek resolution.
- my children know if either of us gets overwhelmed, we take a timeout before we say something we’ll regret (not always possible).
- when ready, they’ll let me know they’re ready to talk.
- then we talk when calmer.
- we apologise if we said anything that hurt the other.
- we remember that it’s not them vs me; it’s us vs the problem.
In 2025 I’ve had disappointing encounters & I’ve seen new patients see me for treatment after disappointing treatment elsewhere without seeking a review there first.
In every case I’ve strongly urged them to consider a review - wouldn’t you want to know if someone was unhappy with you & be given an opportunity to resolve the problem? Even if you decide to end matters, pls do that: for them & for you.
I say this to my patients; to my other patients & I say this to everyone.
It’s cruel to cut people off without their knowing why or giving them a chance to explain their perspective.
So in 2025 especially after June, I’ve asked this of every new patient- I want to know if you’re upset; I want to review you in clinic if you’re unhappy. If you’re someone who’s not comfortable with that I’m not for you.
Your HCPs ideally put a lot of themselves into the work we do with you.