Insightful Conversations and Coaching

29/05/2026

Q&A with Susanne
Today we covered
-) If a coach does not tell you what to do, what do they actually do?
-) How do I choose the right coach? See less

28/05/2026

Who are you?

At some point in life, many people ask themselves:
“Who am I?”

And that question can become louder during or after significant change.
A change in relationship.
A change in work.
A loss or a new beginning.
Breaking free from something that no longer fits.

And sometimes the question is not easy to answer.

Because up to today, you have already collected so many experiences.
Everyday moments.
Family dynamics.
Friendships.
Relationships.
Workplaces.
Choices you made.
Choices you could not make.
Moments you enjoyed.
Moments you barely remember.
Moments that shaped you deeply.
And some experiences may still echo through you.

Today, you may show different versions of yourself depending on the role, the situation, and how safe or comfortable you feel.

The version that holds everything together and keeps going.
The professional one.
The strong one.
The empathetic and caring one.
And a mixture of all of them at the same time

And after a while, you might wonder:
“Who am I actually?”

You are shaped by your experiences.

But you are not defined by your past.

What happened matters.
It matters who you became.

The ways you adapted, coped, performed, held things together, or had to protect yourself matter.

But that is not the whole of who you are.

The question is not only: who did you have to become?
The more important question is: who are you becoming now?

What still feels true?
What no longer fits?
What do you want to connect with, strengthen, or express more fully now?

Your past is part of your story.
But it does not have to be the whole story.

You can choose what matters now and move closer to a life that feels true to you.

Comment GREEN if you want to hear more about connecting with yourself.

27/05/2026

What happens to you when life changes?

Changes in your life are a natural part of living.
Some are a natural part of growing up and getting older

Some you look forward to and welcome
and they bring you joy.
For a moment, a season or a lifetime.

But there are also changes you didn’t welcome
or didn’t have a say in them

And those changes bring unfamiliarity, uncertainty,
pain and sometimes also suffering.
Some are easier to overcome
and others are still echoing through you.

When life changes you might find yourself standing at crossroads.
Wondering which way to go,
it might feel like you need to make a decision of choosing
what do I keep, what do I leave behind and what do I build up from scratch?
Like moving into a new empty home.

It can feel unfamiliar.
Exposed.
Unsettled.

But it can also hold possibility
and you might be cautiously curios,
or even feel a small sense of relief,

And wondering of what could be different now.
Especially if the change means you are no longer living in the same old pattern.
No longer carrying the same role in the same way.
No longer trying to fit into something that had stopped feeling like you.

At the same time, you might also be grieving parts that you had to leave behind.

You may find yourself holding many different thoughts and feelings all at once, which can feel confusing at times.

And you might be quietly wondering:
Maybe something different can be created here.
Not because everything is suddenly okay.
Not because the change did not matter.

But because somewhere in that space,
new questions can begin to emerge:

What still belongs with me?
What no longer fits?
What do I want to create differently now?

Life changes can help us to meet ourselves in a new way.
And the work is not about becoming someone completely different.
It is about recognising what still matters,
what has changed,
and what you want to carry forward with more intention.

Comment GREEN if you want to hear more.

26/05/2026

How many versions of you are there?

We all have different ways we show up.
At work.
With family.
With friends.

You may be more relaxed with one person.
More guarded with another.
More professional in one setting.
More playful somewhere else.

You might feel safe in some situations
and not in others.

That is part of being human.

But sometimes, the version you let people see is not the whole story.

They may see you as strong.
Capable.
Independent.
Reliable.
The one who has things under control.

And that is true.
But it may not be the whole truth.

Because inside, you may feel tired.
Unsure.
Overwhelmed.
Guarded.
And people may not realise the effort it takes to keep showing up that way.

There can be a gap between how others see you and how you experience yourself.
And that gap can feel lonely at times.

The other point is:
People will always see you through their own frame of reference.

Their experiences.
Their beliefs.
Their expectations.
Their idea of who they think you are.

You can choose how you want to show up.
You can choose what matters to you.
You can choose what you want to express.
You can choose where you want to show more of what feels true to you.

But you cannot fully control how other people perceive you or what they think.

And maybe the question is not:
“How do I make everyone see me the way I want them to see me?”
But rather:
“What do I need to feel safe enough to show more of what feels true to me?”

Because being seen matters.
And so does recognising yourself in the way you show up.

Comment GREEN if you want to hear more about how we see ourselves.

26/05/2026

25/05/2026

What once fitted may no longer fit

That does not only apply to clothes or interior design.
Your taste in colours and styles can change.

And the same can happen with how you see
yourself, your life, and the world around you.

Life experiences shape you.
The knowledge you acquire shapes you.
They can impact your understanding
of the world, your beliefs, your values,
and the way you see and evaluate things.

So changing your mind about something
does not always mean you were wrong before.

It may simply mean that some things have changed.

You have more or different information now.
Life experiences have shaped you,
and you may see yourself differently now.
You might have discovered your own values.
You might be able to formulate your own
needs for the first time.
And what once felt right may no longer feel in the same way.

That can feel unfamiliar.
Maybe even uncomfortable at the beginning.

Because you may have thought:
“This is who I am.”
“This is what I do.”
“This is what people expect from me.”

But who you are is not written in stone.

It can change as you live and grow.
Through your experiences.

Through the questions you ask.
And sometimes through the questions
you did not know to ask before.

Through the choices you make.
And sometimes through the choices
you could not make before.

Every step is part of a natural process.

And it is important to allow yourself
to notice when something no longer fits.
A role.
A habit.
A way of relating.

You might be working hard to create
a new version of yourself
That does not make the old version wrong.
It may simply mean you are moving closer
to what feels true for you now

Comment GREEN if you want to hear more about change.

22/05/2026

Don’t dismiss small shifts

When you are trying to change patterns that have been with you for a long time, it is easy to focus on what is still hard.

You still overthink
You still get triggered
Self-doubt still shows up.
And you still feel exhausted afterwards.

And when that happens, it can feel like nothing is changing.
But that’s actually not always true.

Sometimes the evidence that something is shifting
is there but you didn’t fully acknowledge it.

You sometimes paused before responding.
You started to catch yourself before saying yes automatically.
You recognised when reflection was starting to turn into rumination.
There were times you used a strategy
that helped you come back to yourself a little sooner.
You acted with a little more intent instead of only reacting.

Those moments may seem small.
But they are not nothing.

They are signs that something in you is beginning to change.

And when you are working with patterns that are deeply ingrained,
those early shifts matter.

Not because everything is easy now.
Not because it will be plain sailing from here.

But because something has started.

And when you feel exhausted or disillusioned,
those small moments can become evidence.

Evidence that you are not standing still.
Evidence that something in you is responding differently.
Evidence that change is happening in real life, not just in theory.

So do not dismiss the small shifts.
The pause.
The awareness.
The moment you honoured a boundary.
The moment you noticed the old pattern
and didn’t automatically continue.

They matter.
Because, this is how change begins.
Quietly.
Practically.
In the moments where you realise:

I responded a little differently this time.

Comment GREEN if you want to hear more about change.

21/05/2026

Are you a peacekeeper?

Being able to see different perspectives is a real skill.
You can put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
You can understand how they think.
You can see what matters to them.

You may even be able to explain one person’s perspective to another in a way that helps calm things down.

That can be valuable.
In families.
In friendships.
At work.
In leadership.

Like a peacekeeper or a negotiator.
You are the one who steps in and stops things from escalating

And yes, that can be a strength.
But it can also come with a cost.

Because when you are good at understanding everyone else, people may start expecting you to do it all the time.
You become the one who smooths things over.
The one who explains.
The one who makes allowances.
The one who is expected to be reasonable.

And when you are hurt, frustrated, or disappointed, you may still hear yourself thinking:
“They did not mean it that way.”
“They are just like that.”
“It is not worth the argument.”
“I need to choose my battles.”

And sometimes that is true.
Not every situation needs to become a confrontation.
Not every comment needs a response.
Not every disagreement is worth your energy.

But here is where it can get difficult.
You might let something go rationally,
while emotionally it is still sitting inside you.
You may understand why someone behaved the way they did
but still feel hurt by it.
You may decide it is wiser to move on,
but something in you still feels unseen, or dismissed.

And over time, that can create an emotional debt.
Such as
The cost of all the moments
you understood everyone else but did not feel understood yourself.
The cost of keeping the peace
while something inside you was quietly building resentment.
The cost of always making room for other people’s perspectives, while your own feelings had nowhere to go.

Being a peacekeeper can be a real strength.
But it can also leave you carrying things no one else sees.

This is not about becoming confrontational.

It is about recognising that peace on the outside can sometimes create tension inside you
Your perspective matters too.
Your feelings matter too.

And understanding everyone else
does not mean
you have to keep carrying an emotional debt.

Comment GREEN if you want to hear more about emotional debt.

20/05/2026

When coping becomes your new normal

Sometimes changes or disruptions you thought where short term
do not unfold the way you hoped.

What you thought was something you had to get through
has become your new normal.
Your life

You get up.
You do what needs to be done.
You manage the responsibilities.
You keep things moving.
You hold yourself together.
And often, you hold everything and everyone else together too.
You keep going.

But coping is not the same as living.

It takes a lot of energy to keep going every day.
Not just physical energy, but mental and emotional energy too.

And on top of that, you may still make sure everything looks fine from the outside.
You are reliable.
You are the capable one
You are the trusted one others come to for advice or support.

But inside, it may feel like you are moving through the motions rather than really living your life.

That is when quieter questions can start to show up.
Is this it?
How much longer can I keep doing this?
Yes, I can manage it all - but who is there for me?

People may think you have it all together.
But they may not see how much effort it takes to keep going.

And sometimes that is where change starts.
Not all at once.
Not by having everything figured out.

But by recognising the situation for what it is.
You start noticing the patterns.
You begin to get clearer on what you want.
And what you no longer want to keep accepting.

Because coping may have become normal.
That does not mean it has to be the life you keep living.
You deserve to move toward a life where you choose
and not just cope and perform.

Comment GREEN if you want to learn more about creating a life of choice

18/05/2026

Why is self-compassion so hard for some people?

For some people,
self-compassion does not feel natural.

It feels uncomfortable.
Foreign.
Sometimes even unsafe.

Especially if you have been
the strong one,
the one holding everything together,
or someone who learned early
that feelings were something
to manage, push through,
or keep at a distance.

Because if you have spent years
disconnecting from yourself
in order to function,
cope, or survive,
then turning toward yourself
with compassion
is not a small thing.

It can feel risky.
There can be a real fear
that if you let yourself feel
what is actually there,
it may become overwhelming.

That fear makes sense.

And this is exactly why
self-compassion can feel so unfamiliar.

It is not a weakness.
And it is not losing yourself in emotion.

Self-compassion helps you
stay connected with yourself.

Pain and suffering
are part of the human condition.

Self-belief and self-trust matter deeply.
But compassion is the essential third part.
It brings balance.
It brings nurture.
It helps you stay with yourself
when things feel hard to hold.

Because the more disconnected
you become from yourself,
the deeper the inner split can get.

And that comes at a cost.

You may keep functioning on the outside,
but feel further and further away
from yourself on the inside.

So no, you do not have to do it all at once.
And you do not have to do it alone.

Learning how to meet yourself
with more compassion
can be part of what helps you
stay connected, settled,
and grounded in yourself
giving you strength.

Comment “Ready” if you want to hear more about how to build self-compassion
and stay connected, grounded, and settled in yourself to create a life that feels like yours.