http://www.flowenergyhealing.com.au/

FLOW, Sutherland (2025)

10/07/2025

Posted • We forget sometimes - because they talk like us, argue like us, and push back like us — that they are not like us. Not yet.

Children are not mini adults. Their brains are still forming. Their nervous systems are still calibrating. Their sense of self, their impulse control, their ability to see another’s perspective — it’s all still under construction.

The brain doesn’t finish developing until well into the twenties. And the parts responsible for emotional regulation, understanding consequences, and empathy? They’re among the last to mature.

So when we expect them to behave with the steadiness of someone fully grown, we’re not setting a boundary — we’re setting them up.

They need space to be loud, impulsive, reactive, and real. Not because they’re choosing to be difficult, but because they’re still developing the tools to do anything else.

Every meltdown, every pushback, every wobble is a chance to learn, not a sign of failure.

Let them be little. That’s where the real growth begins. ❤️

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09/07/2025

Posted • .sashareiisi You might work hard to give your child everything you didn’t have:

A safe home.
New toys.
More opportunity.
Better schools.

And those things do matter.

But none of them compare to the presence of a parent who’s doing the inner work.

Because healing isn’t just about what you give your child.

It’s about who you become while raising them.

The parent who doesn’t snap as quickly.
The parent who repairs after they yell.
The parent who pauses, breathes, and stays.

That’s what they’ll remember.

Not the toys.
Not the trips.
Not even the lessons you tried to teach.

But your presence.

Your growth.
Your softness.
Your willingness to do it differently.

That’s the gift.

And it’s one they’ll carry forever.

27/06/2025

Posted • No offense to children!

This isn’t judgment. It’s a mirror. Most adults weren’t supported in growing up all the way, so when children act like children, it pokes at the unseen and unmet places inside. Instead of co-regulating, many adults react. Instead of guiding, they control. Instead of modeling maturity, they mirror the chaos. This childish behavior might be justified with thoughts like—Well, if they had just listened the first time or My dad would have xyz, so my kids are lucky. Adults do this to deflect. To distract. To keep themselves at a distance from themselves. Ultimately, it hurts your child and also your relationship. This is the kind of end of life regret many people face. We can’t run from ourselves forever.

These cycles don’t have to continue. You can start new cycles.

Children don’t need perfect parents. They need present ones. Grown-ups who are growing too.

Let’s stop expecting emotional regulation from kids while excusing dysregulation in adults. Let’s raise children who don’t have to unlearn their childhood.

23/06/2025

Posted • .and.montessori Re-frame your frustration with a question on how you can help your child in the moment ❤️‍🩹

20/06/2025

Posted • This is what no one prepares you for.

Parenting doesn’t just ask you to support your child’s emotions—
it exposes your own.

The moments that overwhelm you…
The need for control…
The shutdown or snap reactions…

They aren’t just parenting challenges.
They’re nervous system messages.
Signals from your past, showing up in your present.

And your child feels them—
because their nervous system mirrors yours.

The most powerful tool you have as a parent isn’t a script or a strategy—
it’s your own regulation.

This work isn’t easy.
But it’s the work that changes everything.

💛

30/04/2025

Posted • If you grew up walking on eggshells, tiptoeing around parents whose moods could shift without warning, you might notice it showing up in your adult life in ways that feel confusing or exhausting.

Maybe you replay conversations for hours after they end.
Maybe you assume you did something wrong the second someone’s tone changes.
Maybe you find yourself over-explaining or apologizing for things that aren’t even yours to carry.

It’s not because you’re too sensitive.
It’s not because you’re overreacting.
It’s because your nervous system was trained to stay hyper-aware in order to stay safe.

When you grow up in unpredictable environments, your brain learns that safety isn’t guaranteed. You start believing that the best way to protect yourself is to anticipate everything before it happens. You study tiny shifts in voice, body language, and expression because back then, catching the warning signs early could mean avoiding hurt, conflict, or abandonment. Even when you are safe now, your body still reacts like you are not.

Healing means helping your body realize it doesn’t have to live there anymore.

It looks like:
• Learning to notice when you’re spiraling and gently bringing yourself back without judgment
• Reminding yourself that other people’s moods aren’t always about you
• Practicing trusting your own intentions, even when your mind tries to convince you you messed up
• Giving yourself permission to pause instead of immediately reacting or fixing

If you are a parent now, the best way to break this cycle is not by being perfect, but by being safe. Apologize when you mess up. Repair the moments when you lose your temper. Show your kids that love stays steady even through the hard moments.

Above all, healing means learning to feel safe inside yourself so you no longer have to read every room like your survival depends on it.

You deserved safe, steady love back then.
You deserve it from yourself now 💗

30/04/2025

Posted • If you consistently choose partners who leave you anxious or unseen, you’re not just repeating a pattern—you’re reinforcing a belief that that’s all you’re worthy of. But when you choose someone who is kind, generous, and emotionally present, it’s not just about them. It’s you deciding you’re finally ready to feel safe in a relationship.

30/03/2025

Posted • Something I see very often as a therapist is adults who carry a deep fear of getting in trouble, even though they aren’t children anymore. This fear usually doesn’t make a lot of logical sense in the present, which is why so many people feel confused by it. But it makes perfect sense when you look at where it started.

If you grew up in a home where mistakes were met with anger, withdrawal, silence, or shame, your nervous system learned early on that getting it “wrong” wasn’t safe. You learned to associate mistakes with emotional consequences-disappointment, rejection, or being made to feel like a burden. Over time, your system adapted. You became cautious. You learned how to avoid conflict, stay small, and stay out of trouble.

Now, even though you have more control over your life, that fear is still in your body. It gets activated in moments that seem harmless on the surface, but your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between then and now.

Tips-

Start by noticing when this fear shows up. Awareness is the first step to interrupting the old pattern.

Remind yourself that you’re not in the same environment anymore. You’re allowed to take up space, make mistakes, and be human.

Give yourself the reassurance you needed back then. Even just saying to yourself, “I’m not in trouble. I didn’t do anything wrong,” can be calming in the moment.

Get curious instead of critical. Ask, “What does this part of me need right now?” instead of pushing it away.

For parents who are unsure how to address mistakes without being too harsh or too lenient, when a child makes a mistake, the most important thing you can do is stay connected. That doesn’t mean ignoring the behaviour, it means addressing it without shaming them. Mistakes are an opportunity to teach, not to punish. Speak to them calmly, help them understand what went wrong, and remind them that they’re still loved, even when they mess up. That’s how you build a secure attachment, by showing them that their worth isn’t tied to being perfect.

26/03/2025

Posted • Children feel our energy - it tells them everything!

Children are affected by the energy in their home - it tells them everything about the relationship between the parents/adults in their home.

Not only does your child feel this energy, they cannot help but mirror it back.

We can’t be responsible for how our child behaves in every situation but we can recognize that our children feel our energy deeply, they feel the energy in their home deeply, so deeply that they will show us through their behavior how it’s affecting them.

The question is, will we own what they mirror back?

Are we conscious of what is being mirrored back?

I often speak about our energy as the weather that dominates our child’s environment. If our energy is grumpy or angry, we can’t be surprised if our child is grumpy and angry. Our energy is quickly reflected in our child’s behavior and what you might find surprising is that they cannot help absorbing our energy and then sending it back out.

So even when we try to force ourselves to act in a way that is inauthentic, our energy is what our children feel.

What we can do is become aware of our energy and the messages that it’s giving to our children (as well as everyone else) and one way we can do this is to notice what our children are reflecting back to us.

If we make an angry face when we’re frustrated or annoyed with our child, we can’t be surprised by their angry faces or expressions when they are frustrated or annoyed.

We truly are the example for our children in so many ways and our energy shows up in all our interactions.

Learning to be aware of our energy might just be one of the most powerful lessons we can learn in parenting!
Send this post to someone who needs to read this!
Quote: Magda Ge**er, adapted
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21/03/2025

Posted • Sitting in discomfort helps rewire our brains to handle the unknown. Start small, like taking a new way home instead of the familiar route. When we stop predicting our own failure, we give our nervous system the opportunity to adjust to uncertainty and form healthier patterns, ones that eventually feel just as familiar as the old ones.

Self-sabotage is often our nervous system’s attempt to gain control over our pain by making the outcome predictable. The unknown feels unsettling, and our brains, wired for survival, crave predictability, even if it means staying stuck in patterns that don’t serve us. It’s a safety mechanism that keeps us from fully stepping into growth, even when it holds us back.

The good news? We can rewire this response. But it takes more than just deciding to change. We need to feel our way through the discomfort. Small shifts, like taking a different route home, can be a starting point. These tiny acts of embracing the unknown send a powerful signal to our nervous system that uncertainty isn’t something to fear. It’s about sitting with the discomfort, rather than running from it, and gradually creating new pathways in our brain. Over time, those new, healthier patterns will become just as familiar as the old ones and this is where real change happens.

Tips to get started:
1. Start small, change a routine or habit in a manageable way.
2. Let yourself feel the discomfort without running from it.
3. Celebrate small wins as you step into the unknown.
4. Trust the process, rewiring takes time and effort, but it’s worth it.

It’s not easy, but it’s the kind of work that leads to lasting transformation.

Ib jessattridge on tt🫶🏼

04/03/2025

Posted • If they’re more bothered by the conversation than the pain they caused, they’re not just avoiding blame—they’re making your hurt an inconvenience. Real safety exists when your pain matters more than their emotional comfort.

15/01/2025

Posted • As parents, we often encourage our children to stop crying or “calm down” because we genuinely want to ease their distress.

It comes from a place of love - we hate to see them struggle, and we want to protect them from discomfort.

But when we ask children to push their feelings aside, we unknowingly teach them that their emotions are something to avoid rather than something to feel.

True calmness doesn’t come from ignoring emotions; it comes from understanding and processing them. When children feel safe to express the big, overwhelming feelings inside, they begin to develop the tools to navigate those emotions and find their own calm.

This kind of resilience grows when they’re allowed to experience their feelings fully, without judgment or dismissal.

As hard as it may feel in the moment, letting a child feel is one of the most loving gifts we can give them. It shows them their emotions matter, their experiences are valid, and they are safe to explore their inner world.

Calmness, then, is not the absence of emotions but the ability to move through them. When we rush to quiet their tears or shush their frustration, we must pause and ask ourselves: Are we protecting them, or are we protecting ourselves from the discomfort of their feelings?

The only way to grow through emotions is to move through them.

Let’s teach our children that their feelings aren’t something to fear or suppress - they are, in fact, the path to true peace. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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FLOW

10/07/2025

09/07/2025

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23/06/2025

20/06/2025

30/04/2025

30/04/2025

30/03/2025

26/03/2025

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