01/04/2026
Better Health is excited to share that our staff have been participating in a clinical trial for Coffee dosage prescriptions to determine the optimal caffeine levels for different roles.
Early results suggest:
☕ 1 coffee – GPs
One standard cup appears sufficient, as they are primarily fuelled by compassion, dedication.
☕☕ 2 coffees – Reception team
One at 8am and one at 12pm to maintain peak performance while answering phones, booking appointments, greeting patients, and the prevention of hearing the phone ring in their sleep.
☕☕☕ 3 coffees – Nurses
Three coffees are required to sustain the high-speed circulation between treatment room, ECGs, vaccines, dressings, recalls, and somehow still knowing where everything in the clinic is located.
☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕ 12+ coffees – Management
Significantly higher caffeine levels appear necessary to assist with queries, IT issues, paperwork, phone calls, and preventing involuntary twitching whenever someone says “quick question…”
Further research is required, however early findings suggest caffeine may be a critical component of primary healthcare operations.
If you believe your workplace could benefit from participation in the study, please reach out for further information.
Happy April Fools from the Better Health team!
