29/04/2026
A question from church last Sunday has been sitting with me:
"How do you love someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries?"
For some people, that’s not an academic question. It’s a heavy one. After years in general practice, and some lived experience, I’ve seen how complex relationships can be. What looks simple on the surface often isn’t. There can be long history, repeated patterns, things beneath the surface, and sometimes real hurt that hasn’t had space to heal.
I don’t think there’s a quick or neat answer. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. But a few things feel true. Love is kind and patient, but it also lives in reality. It can’t ignore harm or pretend everything is fine.
When I read the Gospels, I’m struck by how Jesus held that tension. In Gospel of Mark 5, a woman reaches out in desperation and touches His cloak, and He stops to meet her with compassion and dignity. But at other times, He withdraws from crowds and sets clear limits around His time and relationships.
In a different context, Gospel of Matthew 18 gives a practical framework. Speak to them, involve others if needed, and if they still refuse to listen, create distance. It recognises that you can do the right things and things still don’t work out.
Sometimes loving someone means leaning in. Sometimes it means having a hard conversation. And sometimes it means stepping back and intentionally creating space.
If this is something you’re navigating, take it seriously and go gently. You are called to love others, but not at the cost of truth, safety, or your own wellbeing.
