11/03/2024
When we choose to move as a force of love, a sacrifice or metaphysical death is experienced, a rite of passage. We must die over and over to our past selves & belief systems that have been put upon us throughout life by society.
It requires deep surrender, to be present with ones self and to bare witness. It happens in layers, to the degree that we can handle opening to.
All the things we think are unlovable, all the things we dislike about ourselves or feel we have no control over, that are hidden & locked away, come up from the shadow lands within, one way or another, to be integrated.
Some of them are angry raging, roaring, from being kept in the dark for so long. It can be f**ken scary! But do not abandon yourself! Facing these parts of self, surrendering & learning why they became suppressed is key to integrating & initiating wholeness, a sacred rite in itself. Reflect, journal, study your dreams, create dialogue with your shadow, get curious.
When the waves of grief come, cry, cleanse, flow, the ugliest cry that is the most natural to you, feel the vibration in your bones! Maybe you need to scream, or hold yourself in your own arms, a child does not think about what he/she looks like but is present with the emotion. Feeling it move through you. Bleed your grief back into Papatūānuku, hupe and all, feel her solid healing strength. Through this we connect to our primal core, the heart space.
Love is our natural state of being, our natural origin, the portal that created you, who you divinely are. Letting go of all that isn't you, is what is ultimately happening.
It may feel empty at first, or for a while. But that's because you aren't brimming with suppressed energy anymore. I'm navigating this new space within me.
I remember that the usefulness of the vessel isn't in what it holds, but what it doesn't. The empty space is what enables it to hold that which has value.
Because now I know I can reach out my own hand & bring myself back from the fiery snake pit abyss. I can ground my spirit back into my body and choose to be here now.
All in the name of love.
