07/08/2022
This is a post about a Rugby player, but it's about a lot more than just rugby, so please stay with me.
Over night, only a day out from a crucial Rugby Championship game against Argentina, Wallabies captain Michael Hooper addressed his team and told them that he was simply not in the right mindset to play or lead the team, at least for the time being. He apologised to his team mates, and packed his bags and returned home to his wife and kid.
Recognising the fact his mind was not where it needed to be showed incredible maturity, staring your team mates in the face to tell them took guts... but what is crucial about what Hooper did is that he didn't shy away from letting the World know.
Hooper could have easily had the Coaches manufacture a fake injury or concussion concern to explain his absence, but instead he owned it. He wanted the World to know that one of the most respected men in World Rugby, renowned for his tenacity and toughness, was mentally broken... and needed to rest and reset his mind. He knew how important an example that could set.
Now I know there will be some from older generations that might be a bit bemused by this. There is a belief, especially among Men, that suffering mentally is sign of mental weakness. That if you're struggling, you need to soldier on and get on with it. Be a Man.
I get that mentality, because it was the standard I held myself to when I've struggled in the past. I wanted to be unshakeable... no matter how unsteady I felt inside. Looking back, I think it was stupid of me.
If you are under 40, your most likely cause of death is you. The burden of your own mind, the weight of your thoughts... people who are struggling in their mindset, and like me deciding not to tell anyone about it. Reflecting back, I was lucky to get out alive, and I shouldn't have relied on luck.
Lately I have had a few people close to me speak up about the battles they're facing, and unlike how I used to perceive it, I now look at them in awe of their self-awareness, maturity, and bravery.
The self-awareness to recognise that something isn't right.
The maturity to know this is a battle they shouldn't fight on their own in silence.
And the bravery to speak openly about it, knowing full well that it will only serve to help others.
So please remember, if Michael Hooper, the Captain of the Wallabies, a man who has played 121 tests, a man revered as a legend around the World, can put his hand up and ask for help... so can you.
