30/01/2026
Hey folks, itās been a minuteā¦
With Valentineās Day ā¤ļø fast approaching Iād like to share a little wisdom from the heart, to save unnecessary hurt and peoples precious time
There are social influences out there that promote themselves as āyour personal wing man/womanā - basically the show you how to manipulate people into dating or sleeping with you using psychology and tried and tested techniques. Now, maybe Iām a tiny bit jaded or old fashioned but that seems wrong to me, and Iāll do my best to explain why.
Itās all well and good to give people the tools and confidence to approach a potential partner and gain their interest, but itās only a mask designed by someone else - it isnāt really people being their authentic selves and being liked for who they are. Not to say that fashion, social norms and other dating customs arenāt a mask - but this is a deliberate manipulation.
Then down the road, when they catch their ābig fishā, and the relationship moves away from the honeymoon period, people get caught out for not being who they pretended to be - a bump in the road becomes a hill, all because someone wanted to get laid, punching above their own weight class (as they say)
When we are young we obviously donāt know who we really are, so when we find our significant other, the masks we ware to woo them are not usually deliberate manipulationsā¦usually. Then if we are lucky enough to feel safe in a relationship, and given the freedom (perhaps even encouraged) to be our authentic self things can change. A closeted lgbtq+ person may find they like their own gender better, and their partner is left scratching their head.
Sometimes parents find theyāre not really good at the job, and run. Sometimes people find they want to have many partners.
It isnāt fair, but itās not a deliberate obfuscation - not like this wing person stuff - just a lack of initial self awareness, and then a realisation of who they are, and a choice to leave their old selves behind (maybe even kids and partner š¤Ø) to explore this new person they have discovered.
Our choices affect others, regardless of whether we have no regrets, particularly those that have allowed us the freedom and safety to find who we really are.
It is important to know who you really are before embarking on a new relationship - to be authentic, and not some carbon copy rutting animal, thatās been convinced they must sample a larger pool in order to find āthe oneā - and while they are playing their games, the āoneā walks by them because they arenāt being authentic - see the lunacy of that scenario?
So as folks throw themselves onto dating apps to find someone so theyāre not alone on Valentineās Day, or hook up randos to sate so,e base rutting instinct, take a moment to think wether what you are presenting is your authentic self, and not a mask you portray to lure a mate - be you, so the real you will be loved, and spare yourself (and them) the heartache of being caught as a fraud
And most importantly, and I canāt stress this enough, if a person knows you are married and have kids, and hooks up with you without your partners knowledge or consent - a home wrecker - they are not a good person in any sense, and neither are you for that matter. And when they cheat on you (and they will, coz they have no moral code) i hope youāre fortunate to have a true love that will mend your broken heart and forgive your selfishness š
Be kind to yourselves - do as thou wilt, yet harm none ā®ļø
