11/07/2025
Addicts are often attracted to critical partners.
Why is that though?
Because criticism is the source and fuel for addiction.
Addicts often feel like they can't do anything right and choose partners that confirm that belief.
The need to prove ourselves correct is something ingrained in all humans. It's a safety mechanism
But this safety mechanism can also cause internal conflict.
Is the universe cruel in making us attracted to suffering?.... No
What it is, is actually a rewind, a replay of past hurts and pains and the beautiful thing about our body replaying past events is that it creates an opportunity. To meet the core need, to heal the core wound.
Any opportunity to love ourselves, to be kind to ourselves when all we remember is being dismissed, criticised and made to feel wrong..To be still, to hug ourselves, to breath deeper, feel the discomfort, let the tantrum come up and out in your safe space. (Breathwork is great for this.)
Beliefs are fueled by trapped painful emotions of the past.
When the addict is able to meet the emotion and fulfill the need the belief attached disintegrates.
Something I've seen when this healing happens is that actions change. Where there was "laziness" and nonchelance, there is care and consideration.
When the addicts partner expresses a need, the addict will have a renewed energy to meet the need because of this integration, When previously the addict would neglect the need because of the belief that they couldn't do anything right anyway.
Knowledge is power 💪