http://www.hillshealinghaven.com.au/

Hills Healing Haven, Upwey (2025)

05/09/2025

True nervous system regulation isn’t about always being calm — it’s about being flexible.

Regulation doesn’t mean you’re zen all the time. It means you have range.
It’s the ability to move through stress, activation, and emotion — and choose your response, rather than being run by reaction.

✨ To feel anger or fear without shutting down.
✨ To experience overwhelm and still stay connected to yourself.
✨ To come back to safety and ease when your body is ready — not when you force it.

That’s real regulation.

Because life isn’t calm all the time — and it isn’t meant to be.
A regulated nervous system is one that adapts. It flexes. It feels.
And most importantly — it chooses.

👉 You choose how to respond.
👉 You choose what you need.
👉 You choose when to rest, speak up, move, or soften.

And at the centre of it all — you create your baseline in ventral vagal:
💛 Connection
💛 Safety
💛 Feeling content in your body and with the world

This becomes your home base. The place your nervous system knows how to return to again and again.

It’s not about controlling your state — it’s about creating enough inner safety to trust yourself in all of them.

This is the heart of healing.
This is nervous system wisdom.
This is where freedom lives.

20/08/2025

✨ Your Body Can’t Tell the Difference ✨

At a body-survival level, your system doesn’t know the difference between running from a tiger… and rushing from school drop-off to work to errands.

The constant go-go-go signals danger to your nervous system.
And when your body hears “danger,” it responds the only way it knows how — by shifting into survival mode.

⚡ Faster heart rate
⚡ Shallow breathing
⚡ Tense muscles
⚡ Hyper-alert mind

If this becomes your everyday rhythm, your body starts to believe this state is normal. Survival mode becomes your new baseline — which means you’re living in fight/flight even when there’s no actual threat.

But here’s the truth: your body was never designed to live in constant urgency.
It was designed to rise to a challenge and then return to safety.

🌿 The first step? Noticing when you’re rushing.
Becoming aware of how often you’re moving, eating, driving, or even thinking in a hurry. Awareness is the doorway to change.

✨ Then, practice slowing down. It doesn’t always mean taking a full day off — it can be as simple as pausing for a few deep breaths, eating without multitasking, or stepping outside to feel the sun on your skin.

Safety lives in these moments of pause. It’s in the slowing down that your nervous system exhales, your breath deepens, and your body remembers:
“I’m not in danger anymore.”

05/08/2025

In my healing work, I see certain beliefs come up again and again—not just in the mind, but deeply stored in the body.

These beliefs often form in childhood or during times when emotional needs weren’t met with safety or support.
They once helped protect you—but over time, they can shape your life in ways that keep you feeling stuck, small, or disconnected.

Here are some of the most common I see:

🌿 “I’m not safe.”
If your environment felt unpredictable or unsafe growing up, your nervous system may still be on alert. You might find it hard to relax, trust, or feel at ease—even when life is stable now.

🌿 “I’m not enough.”
Rooted in criticism, comparison, or conditional love. You may constantly strive, please, or prove yourself—yet never feel like it’s truly enough.

🌿 “My needs don’t matter” / “I’m too much.”
If your emotions were shamed or ignored, you may now stay quiet, suppress needs, or feel guilty for expressing yourself or taking up space.

🌿 “If I rest, I’ll fall behind (or something bad will happen).”
When life required constant effort to feel safe, rest can feel threatening. You might push through exhaustion or feel uneasy slowing down.

🌿 “Love has to be earned.”
If love came through being ‘good,’ helpful, or high achieving, you may feel unworthy unless you’re constantly doing something to earn connection.

🌿 “There’s something wrong with me.”
Often rooted in invalidation or feeling misunderstood. It can show up as shame, isolation, or believing healing isn’t possible for you.

🌿 “I can’t trust others.”
If connection once brought pain or betrayal, you might long for closeness—but also fear it deeply, keeping others at a safe distance.

🌿 “It’s not safe to feel.”
When emotions were met with rejection or overwhelm, your body may have learned to numb or avoid feelings altogether.

—

These beliefs are not your fault.
They’re adaptations—your body’s way of protecting you in the past.

And now, with safety, awareness and support, they can begin to shift.
Your system can learn that it’s safe to soften.
To connect.
To be.

02/08/2025

Why PMS Feels So Emotional: It’s Not Just Hormones — It’s Old Wounds Rising

📌 Save this for your next luteal phase
👭 This one’s for the ladies.

So many of my clients tell me how much they struggle during PMS — like they’ve taken 10 steps back in their healing.
And I want you to know: you’re not alone.
You’re not broken.
You’re just finally feeling what you’ve been holding in all month.

Let’s break it down:

⸻

💥 What’s Really Happening in PMS?

👉 In your luteal phase (the 10–14 days before your period), estrogen & progesterone drop
👉 That means less serotonin + less GABA = less calm + more sensitivity
👉 Your nervous system becomes more reactive = less capacity to suppress

That’s why the tears, the rage, the overwhelm come out of nowhere — or so it seems.

What’s really happening?
The part of you that’s held it all in all month… finally speaks.

⸻

🧠 Why Do Old Wounds Come Up?

Because your emotional “filters” are lowered.

The wound that’s been whispering “I’m not safe.”
“I’m not heard.”
“I don’t matter.”
…now starts yelling.

These are the parts of you that weren’t allowed to feel, speak, or express as a child.
And now, when your body is raw and honest — they rise.

⸻

🔄 It’s Not a Breakdown — It’s an Invitation

Instead of shaming yourself or trying to “fix it”… what if you listened?

What if you met that angry, tired, unseen part of you and said:
“I hear you. I see you. You don’t have to hold this alone anymore.”

This is how we heal.
This is reparenting.
This is nervous system repair.
This is cyclical wisdom.

⸻

🌙 Gentle Support Tools for PMS Wound Work:

• Magnesium, B6, saffron (mood + calm)
• Somatic release (shaking, stomping, breath)
• Boundaries that honour your needs too
• Inner child journaling — ask: “What do you need from me today?”
• Say no more often. You don’t have to earn rest.

⸻

✨ You’re not crazy.
You’re not too much.
You’re just finally feeling what your body has been carrying.

01/07/2025

This quote isn’t about blame—it’s about understanding.

So often, the patterns we struggle with in adulthood—burnout, people-pleasing, emotional reactivity, disconnection from our bodies, chronic anxiety or shutdown—aren’t random. They’re the nervous system’s way of trying to keep us safe, based on what we once had to do to survive.

If love meant being quiet…
If safety meant keeping the peace…
If connection came at the cost of your authenticity…

Then of course your adult nervous system still leans toward those patterns. Not because you’re broken, but because you adapted.

The good news? The same brain and body that learned those patterns can also unlearn them.

Healing begins when we start to meet ourselves with curiosity instead of judgment. When we stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and begin asking, “What happened to me? Why is this part trying to protect me?”

You are not your dysfunction.
You are the result of wisdom born in childhood—and now, as an adult, you get to write new stories in your nervous system, gently and with love.

29/06/2025

Did you know that chronic stress can quietly impact every system in your body?
🌿 It’s more than just feeling “on edge” — it can trigger inflammation, disrupt hormones, and leave you feeling disconnected and depleted.

When we’re under stress, the body shifts into survival mode.
But it’s meant to be temporary.
Instead, many of us get stuck there — heart racing, digestion slowed, muscles tense — like the body is bracing for danger that never passes.

And staying in that state over time?
It quietly fuels inflammation and can lead to:
😞 Fatigue
🧠 Brain fog
😣 Gut issues
🦴 Aches and stiffness
💤 Poor sleep
❤️‍🔥 Hormonal imbalance

But the body is wise. It wants to heal.
When we support the nervous system, reduce stress, and return to safety within…
Healing begins. Inflammation softens. The body exhales.

Your emotional world and physical body are deeply connected.
And it’s never too late to return to yourself — gently, one layer at a time.

28/06/2025

The ego self is the part of us shaped by fear and protection —
doing what it knows to keep us safe.

The true self is the part of us rooted in love, truth, and inner knowing —
who we’ve always been beneath the noise.

We all oscillate between the two.

Some days, fear leads. Other days, love does.
This isn’t failure — it’s part of the journey home.

Each time we notice we’re operating from ego,
we’re given an invitation to return to our true self
with more compassion and clarity than before.
Your true self is not who you had to be — it’s who you’ve always been.
Whole. Wise. Worthy.
Even when life made you forget.

It’s the part of you that remembers your values… your voice… your inner peace.

Coming home to your true self isn’t about “killing the ego.”
It’s about gently noticing where you’ve been led by fear —
and choosing, again and again, to walk with love.

26/06/2025

No one tells you that coming back to yourself can feel like falling apart.
It’s not always calm or blissful.
Sometimes, it’s grief.

Grief for the times you abandoned your own needs.
Grief for the silence you kept just to feel safe.
Grief for the version of you who never felt like enough.

It can feel like unraveling — but this too is special.
Because it means you’re no longer willing to live disconnected.

Coming home to yourself isn’t always gentle.
But it is honest.
It is healing.
And it is always worth it.

26/06/2025

What happens when the emotional cycle can’t complete?

When an emotion isn’t felt all the way through—because it wasn’t safe, welcomed, or we didn’t have the tools—it doesn’t just disappear. It stays… somewhere.

🪨 It might lodge in the body as tension, pain, or fatigue.
🌪 It might play out in patterns—snapping at loved ones, withdrawing, people-pleasing.
🔁 It might loop in the mind as intrusive thoughts, self-doubt, or anxiety.

Unfinished emotional cycles become trapped energy.
They wait—patiently—for space to be seen, felt, and moved.

But the good news is: it’s never too late.
Emotions don’t expire.
With safety, presence, and gentle practices, they can complete… even years later.
Here are a few ways to support the body to finish what once felt too big, too much, or too unsafe to feel.. A few gentle practices to support emotional completion:
1. Move your body — walk, stretch, sway. Motion creates space for energy to shift.
2. Sound — sigh, hum, or tone. Let your body express in ways words can’t.
3. Touch — place your hand on your chest, belly or heart. Physical reassurance rewires safety.
4. Breath — slow, rhythmic breaths signal to your nervous system that it’s okay to feel now.
5. Containment — feel an emotion with support. A journal, a safe person, or a practitioner can help hold what once felt unholdable.

🌀 Emotional cycles aren’t linear.
They’re spirals, waves, rhythms.
When we work with the body, not against it,
we create space for healing to happen gently… over time.

24/06/2025

Revolutionising Your Own Self-Care

What if self-care wasn’t something you did…
but something you became?

We’re sold the idea that self-care is bubble baths and spa days —
and while those can be beautiful, they’re just the surface.
Real self-care? It’s deeper.
It’s sometimes messy. And it’s always courageous.

Revolutionising your self-care means:
🌿 Saying no when you mean it — even if your voice shakes.
🌿 Listening to your body instead of overriding it.
🌿 Creating space to feel what you’ve been pushing down.
🌿 Choosing rest, not as a reward, but as a right.
🌿 Re-parenting the parts of you that were never nurtured.
🌿 Meeting your needs before they become screams.

It’s not self-indulgent.
It’s self-honouring.
It’s reclaiming your relationship with yourself —
your time, your energy, your worth.

You don’t need a full day off to start.
You just need a moment of truth.
A willingness to begin.
And a promise to keep showing up for you.

This is the self-care revolution.
It doesn’t look like what we were told.
But it feels like finally coming home.

24/06/2025

After the storm… comes the quiet.
Not always right away. Sometimes the nervous system needs time.
The heart needs holding. The body needs rest.

But eventually, I’ve found there’s this quiet, powerful window —
where you can look back, not with blame or regret,
but with gentle curiosity and ask:

🌿 What did this teach me?

This simple question… it’s a practice that has truly changed my life.
Not because it takes away the pain,
but because it gives that pain somewhere meaningful to go.

It helps me shift from “poor me” to “wise me.”
From feeling powerless, to slowly reclaiming my story.

Not everything has to make sense right away.
You don’t have to rush to find the silver lining.
But when you feel ready —
you can look back with kindness and ask:

✨ What did I learn about myself?
✨ What did I discover I’m capable of?
✨ What do I now know I need, or deserve, or want more of?

It doesn’t have to be profound.
But it is powerful.
It’s how we grow roots.
It’s how we turn wounds into wisdom.

The storm might shape us —
but we choose what we carry forward.

And that?
That is healing.

23/06/2025

So much of our pain was shaped in relationship —
through disconnection, misattunement, or feeling unsafe to be who we are.

And it’s often in relationship that we are able to truly connect with these parts of us and begin to heal.

You can journal, meditate, breathe, and process —
but sometimes what your nervous system really needs is someone who’s simply there.
Someone steady enough to hold space.
Someone safe enough for your body to soften.

Because when you’re held in presence —
with no pressure to be anything but real —
your nervous system gets to experience something new:
It’s safe to be here. It’s safe to be me. I’m ok.

This is the power of co-regulation.
Not just a concept —
but a felt experience that begins to rewire what stress and trauma once shaped x

Hills Healing Haven

05/09/2025

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