Funeral Matters Melbourne

20/06/2023

When you get to be part of a quirky farewell, you get an amazing song list and a request to dance!

30/12/2022

I found this a couple of month’s back. It seems a fitting reflection for the coming new year.
***
“I counted my years and found that I have less time to live from here on than I have lived up to now.
I feel like that child who won a packet of sweets: she ate the first with pleasure, but when she realized that there were few left, she began to enjoy them intensely.
I no longer have time for endless meetings where statutes, rules, procedures and internal regulations are discussed, knowing that nothing will be achieved.
I no longer have time to support the absurd people who, despite their chronological age, haven't grown up.
My time is too short: I want the essence, my soul is in a hurry. I don't have many sweets in the package anymore.
I want to live next to human people, very human, who know how to laugh at their mistakes and who are not inflated by their triumphs and who take on their responsibilities. Thus human dignity is defended and we move towards truth and honesty. It is the essential that makes life worth living.
I want to surround myself with people who know how to touch hearts, people who have been taught by the hard blows of life to grow with gentle touches of the soul.
Yes, I'm in a hurry, I'm in a hurry to live with the intensity that only maturity can give.
I don't intend to waste any of the leftover sweets. I am sure they will be delicious, much more than what I have eaten so far.
My goal is to reach the end satisfied and at peace with my loved ones and my conscience.
We have two lives and the second begins when you realize you only have one. "

Beautiful words of wisdom by Mario de Andrade.

25/12/2022

An eloquent take on grief and the holiday season.

There’s a lot of loneliness with grief. And I’m not JUST talking about the grief that comes with the death of a loved one. Grief comes when anything dies. All of it is lonely.

The saying goes, “grief shared is grief diminished.” But some (much?) of our grief we keep to ourselves, cause if you’re like me, it’s rare to feel seen and understood.

And then there’s the holidays that have this tendency to underscore everything we’re missing and amplify whatever grief it is we’re feeling. It’s amplified because we feel obligated to hold it in, with the hope that our pain doesn’t stain the holiday happiness.

I get the sentiment of “Happy Holidays” but it’s pretty sh*tty for a lot of people.

The lady who checks out my meds at the pharmacy lost her daughter a few years back. I’ve been a pharmacy regular for a few years and each year around the holidays she tells me how hard it is. How she just “can’t wait until the holidays are over” so she can take off her painted smile.

I’m not sure she tells too many people about her real feelings about the holidays. She feels safe with me because she made her daughter’s funeral arrangements through us. And, as I’ve said before, funeral directors carry the grief of their community.

Few things “make grief better” but feeling seen at least makes the world feel less lonely.

I just want to say that I see you. I see you holding it in. I see you hiding your tears. I see you feeling like you have to carry it alone. I see you painting on a smile. I see you wishing this season was over.

I know this time of the year feels lonely. I feel it too. And I guess I just want to say you’re not alone.

10/10/2022

Out in the sunshine today…

20/09/2022

I found this… a sweet perspective…

RONJA STANLEY aka NEW RO shared a post on Instagram: "To anyone grieving❤️🧚‍♀️✨ love you ". Follow their account to see 584 posts.

18/09/2022

And now for something completely different.

01/09/2022

Thinking about the bookends of life…

You came naked
You will leave naked
You came without anything
You will leave without anything
You arrived weak
You will leave weak
So, why so much hatred, resentment, envy, selfishness and pride?
We will all go empty handed, what all material things we have earned, we earned here, and will leave everything here only.
The only thing that will go with you, that you actually earned here is the love you shared, the compassion you showed, the humbleness, your gratitude, your helpfulness, your kindness.
That is the legacy you will leave here that everyone will follow.

©️unknown author
Thanks Carly.

11/08/2022

Listening to Ted Talks daily this morning and this showed up. It spoke to me on many levels, one of which was why I so loved the work I do. The ability to use words to speak to our human condition. The grief we experience. The wondrous beauty in the world. Possibility and gratitude.

‎Show TED Talks Daily, Ep The bittersweet joy in longing | Susan Cain - 11 Aug 2022

21/07/2022

This is an interesting article that talks about the shift from coffin to casket, and what the difference is between the two Cs. The most interesting part for me is the notion of ‘beautifying death’. Maybe greater death literacy rather than ‘beautification’ might help improve the way many western cultures, including Australia, death with death.

The answer is in fact to do with the shape, but because the terms ‘coffin’ and ‘casket’ are used interchangeably, you’d be forgiven for never considering the differences, but here’s the main one: a coffin has six sides and is hexagonal, and a casket has four sides and is rectangular. Mos...

15/07/2022

Perhaps this reframe might help…

14/07/2022

This. Remember this…

Making plans in advance before you die will help you relax your mind, collect your possessions, and key life documents.

For more on how to ‘get dead set’ with your end-of-life planning visit www.dyingtoknowday.com

01/07/2022

The office for this morning. It’s sunny, crisp and fresh in northern Victoria.