23/11/2025
So many couples want to communicate better, but real change begins with slowing down.
When we’re activated, we react from old patterns. Our partner’s words pass through our own lens our history, our blueprint and can easily be misunderstood.
To communicate well, we need enough self-awareness and self-soothing to ground ourselves first.
From there, one of the most powerful skills is validation.
In Gottman Therapy, validation isn’t about agreeing with everything your partner says, it’s about saying:
“I hear you. I’m trying to understand your experience from your perspective.”
Validation also acts as a gentle checking-in:
“Am I understanding you correctly? Is this what you meant?”
This reduces misinterpretations and helps both partners feel seen, safe, and supported.
Slowing down, grounding, and validating each other are small steps that can transform how you move through conflict — together.
This clip is from the launch of my book The Love Blueprint a guide to understanding ourselves and each other through the combined lenses of IFS and Gottman relationship science. It’s all about helping couples communicate with more clarity, compassion, and connection. #
