Fiona Leeworthy Counsellor & Family Therapist - Albury Wodonga

12/07/2025

Invest in your relationship and create some fun times together in the gourmet region of Milawa, Victoria !! 😍

Register your interest by clicking on the link ⬇️

https://bit.ly/2025-Retreat

28/11/2022

26/10/2020

❤️ IS ANXIETY CRIPPLING YOUR MARRIAGE?

When anxiety dominates in a marriage it can have quite a powerful impact on a couple. Because of its overreactive response, it creates an urgency that can push everyone aside, leaving your partner feeling alienated, the sufferer overwhelmed, and your marriage void of joy, fun, and the intimacy it needs.

Anxiety can be triggered by the smallest of things, so learning to be vulnerable with your partner and making them aware of your feelings is an important way of managing it. When anxious feelings get ignored or suppressed it just allows fear and irrational thoughts to grow.

It’s difficult living with an anxious mind that seems to rise up from nowhere, but awareness helps you recognize it, own it, and invite your partner to support you through it.

Anxiety is on the rise but it can be managed quite well. Don't let it be something that pulls you away from each other, but rather let it draw you closer.

💥 Does anxiety impact your relationship? What is the best thing your partner can do when you feel anxious?

Have a great week!

Rick & Fi ❤️

18/10/2020

❤️ HOW SECURE ARE YOUR BOUNDARIES?

I’ll never forget the words of one wise lady who was courageous enough to speak up at a time when I needed it.

I was 22 years old, married, and waitressing at a local club in my hometown. My job involved late nights at a club that was a hive of activity.

Over time, some of my work colleagues and I got into the habit of staying back after work and socializing to wind down. The band, the activity, and the wine were enticing - but it was a recipe for disaster!

As I was standing at the bar ordering another drink, an older woman who had experienced a broken marriage came up behind me and said these courageous words: “Go home to your husband Fiona, this is where it all starts!”

I knew exactly what she meant, and although I was a little defensive, those words pierced my soul. I spoke about the issue with Rick the next day and found a safer way to wind down after a night's work.

Nobody has an affair because of one decision, there are always multiple choices that get you there – your thought life, the state of your marriage, and the environment that you put yourself in are all contributors.

We’re all capable of being attracted to another person, but healthy boundaries that are defined as a couple help to keep you safe and your marriage strong.

💥 What are the healthy boundaries that you have in place as a couple to safeguard your marriage from an affair?

Have a great week!

Rick & Fi ❤️

12/10/2020

❤️ MARRIAGE & MONEY - ARE YOU ON THE SAME PAGE??

Most people have felt the joy of buying a new car, purchasing a house, or buying something that they longed for that is costly. All you have to do to make a big purchase is to front up at the bank with a dream and a deposit and generally, you can have access to cash within a very short time.

It seems easy, but many couples wrestle with the consequences of racked up debt that comes from home loans, cars, credit card purchases, and other financial family obligations. It can put a huge amount of pressure on a couple causing many marriages to fail because of their financial burdens, particularly if there is only one income.

When one person in the marriage is totally responsible for handling the finances, the other person may live recklessly because they are not aware of their financial situation.

Living on ‘just enough’ can leave you very vulnerable to an unexpected bill and really take the joy out of a goal that you have been reaching for.

Set up a budget together that includes fixed expenses, desired luxuries, savings goals, with a plan to reduce debt. Communicate regularly about your finances. Whether it be a weekly, fortnightly, or monthly event, you need to agree on your financial goals and priorities.

When both partners are aware and working toward the same outcomes, stress is greatly reduced, and you’ll have the satisfaction of successfully building your dreams together.

💥 How do you currently work through finances in your home and in what way could you do better? Have you set up a workable budget and can you agree to stick to it?

Have a great week!

Rick & Fi ❤️

05/10/2020

❤️ IS ANGER CREATING HOLES IN YOUR MARRIAGE?

There was a little boy with a bad temper.
His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he was to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.

Slowly the number of nails dwindled down.
He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say ‘I’m sorry’, the wound is still there - Author unknown.

There’s nothing like a good story to help us understand that anger can have a huge impact on a marriage. And although it is a normal emotion, when anger is used to attack each other it can be very damaging.
Although apologizing and forgiveness are essential within your relationship, words spoken in anger can leave a trail of hurt that takes time to repair.

💥 TALK ABOUT where anger has been used negatively in your marriage and try and identify some common triggers that got you there.
(Eg. stress, frustration, feelings of rejection…)
Consider some new ways of communicating that would be more productive in your marriage.

Have a great week!

Rick & Fi 💥

27/09/2020

❤️ HOW ARE THE STRESS LEVELS IN YOUR MARRIAGE?

Who would have thought that 2020 would look like it has, with a pandemic that has shaken the world?!

The full impact is yet to be seen, but what we do know is that marriages are feeling enormous stress as they try and live in an uncertain world.
Stress can be a major contributor to relationship breakdowns, usually transferring from one person to the other, sending a couple’s mood spiraling down.

The normal response is to take the stress out on your partner by being short and snappy, by crawling up into a ball and hibernating, or by trying to control everything around you to reduce the anxiety that you feel.

Yet it’s a great opportunity to lean on your partner for support.

When you can first acknowledge and name the stress to yourself, then you can lean into your partner, communicate your fears & anxieties, and allow your partner to support you.

When couples operate like this in their marriages it presents a powerful opportunity to cover your partner and show them that although the world feels unsafe, that you are safe, and your marriage then becomes the safe haven it was created to be.

💥 WHAT IS THE BEST WAY your partner can support you when you are feeling stressed out?
What would you need to do to become better at leaning into each other?

Have a great week!

Rick & Fi ❤️

20/09/2020

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20/09/2020

❤️ IS TECHNOLOGY HURTING YOUR MARRIAGE?

Recently I enabled the ‘Screen Time’ function on my iPhone. It was quite confronting to see how much time I was wasting on my phone per day – scrolling through social media, checking the latest news, glancing at Pinterest, and texting friends. And that didn’t include emails, Netflix, or my friend google!

In fact, a recent study showed that if you were to spend 2 hours per day on your phone for a lifetime you would spend approximately 6 years on your phone. That little calculation made me want to throw it in the bin!

Although technology has amazing benefits and is a nice way to stay connected and zone out at times, it can also become addictive and destructive as it steals time and attention away from your relationship.

We do need a healthy amount of technology in our 21st century but I’d like to suggest some ‘no phone zones’ to protect your marriage as well! That might start with turning the phone off around the meals table or leaving your phone outside your bedroom.

A great marriage needs YOU, so don’t sell your relationship short and give your time away to things that really don’t matter that much in the end.

💥 Talk about the impact that technology has on your marriage. Discuss some ideas to create some ‘no phone zones’ in your home.

Have a great week!

Rick & Fi ❤️

13/09/2020

❤️ WHAT DO WE HAVE IN COMMON???

If you’ve ever read the book ‘The Five Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman you will know that one of the love languages is Quality Time. It’s one of our top two love languages and it’s what most marriages thrive on. Whether ‘Quality Time’ is taking a Sunday drive together, playing a game of golf, or intentionally sitting on the couch talking, it all spells love and intimacy for your marriage.

I often hear couples say that they struggle to find something that they both love to do. Maybe your partner used to go golfing or shooting with you before you got married but now won’t have a bar of it. My husband used to drive two hours to take me shopping then follow me around all night while I shopped my heart out. With no complaint!

Well, that’s all changed, I now know he hates shopping and yes, I dislike golf too!
But that doesn’t mean that you can’t begin something new together. Take a dance class, go to the gym together or begin a new hobby that can be yours afresh. Don’t buy into the lie that says you have nothing in common - create something new.

P.S. If you’re right in the middle of Covid restrictions right now, it’s a great time to take a walk with your partner and enjoy that special Quality Time together.

💥 DISCUSS some of the activities that you like to do together and make a list of new options for the future, then book it in.

Have a great week,

Rick & Fi ❤️

06/09/2020

❤️ I'M SORRY!

Making an apology can be a difficult task, it means admitting that you were wrong and swallowing some pride to do it. Because of this, often couples avoid apologizing, or make half-hearted attempts because the discomfort they feel is too confronting.

You can blame, you can make excuses, you can deflect responsibility, or you can live in denial. All of these choices will protect your pride, but they won’t heal your marriage.

Here are 4 steps to make a proper apology:

1️⃣ Show sincere regret for how you’ve hurt your partner
2️⃣ Take responsibility for what you have done
3️⃣ Ask for their forgiveness
4️⃣ Fix the problem you caused by your behaviour if you can

The truth is that we all make mistakes so as you forgive your partner, do your best to let the incident go. Sometimes that may take time and it may be that their actions need to do the talking, but an authentic apology, followed by forgiveness, has the power to free up hurt hearts and give your marriage the best opportunity to believe in each other again.

Resentment is the result of many undealt with hurts, don't let it destroy the love and intimacy in your marriage.

💥 CONSIDER how you currently apologize. Are there any steps that get left out when you make an apology to your partner?

Have a great week!

Rick & Fi ❤️