Personal Strategies

Personal Strategies Individual, couple & family therapy with over 17 yrs of experience. Training, organizational consultancies and supervision offered with our psychologist.

What is a Gestalt, and why is it important?  In psychology and related fields, it refers to a concept where the whole is...
30/07/2025

What is a Gestalt, and why is it important? In psychology and related fields, it refers to a concept where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. So what I hear you say in your endless pursuit of truth!

See below, in essence, you can see some shapes that we older people may describe as packmen. Most people can see a triangle, but is it really there? Well, no, bits are missing; however, your mind sees it because our brains have evolved to fill in the gaps because that is how, as a species, we learnt to survive, by outthinking our enemy and coming up with survival strategies.

So we feel unsafe if we don't know everything about a situation, and worse than that, our mind will tend to default to predicting that something bad is going to happen and then catastrophise about it, because only bad things will kill us as they did 200,000 years ago. This default process increases anxiety, stress and fear responses (have you ever had your boss come to you and ask you to meet in their office in 1/2 an hour, what did you spend that 1/2 an hour thinking about? So the next time you have a stress/anxiety/fear response, ask yourself, what actual evidence do you have for it? In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) this is called psychological suffering, which is the distress we cause ourselves (separate from the external stressor, psychological pain) that happens in our mind. (Notice below to see a visual gestalt.)

When other people make comments about what they think of us, even if we misinterpret what they mean, it can only affect ...
16/07/2025

When other people make comments about what they think of us, even if we misinterpret what they mean, it can only affect us if we agree with them somewhere deep inside. A quote I like very much that reflects this is "what you think of me is nobody's business but yours"!

06/07/2025

In my nearly 30 years of psychotherapy and about 10 years being involved with Effective Pain Solutions, one metaphor has become helpful in encouraging my clients/participants to confront their issues.

When I was about 6-7 years old, I was sitting in the classroom, the teacher read us a story. This story was about a bush fire raging through the forest at an incredible speed. There were 3 animals, a kangaroo, a wombat and a dingo, all three animals sensing the fire, responded. The kangaroo hopped away as fast as it could, but the fire front was moving faster than the kangaroo and it died. The wombat dug a hole in the ground, but could not completely bury itself in time, so its back was burnt and it also died.

The dingo turned and ran into the fire front as fast as it could, weaving its way through to avoid the worst parts of the fire and came out the other side singed but alive.

The point to the story when i tell my clients/participants, is that the most scary thing you might ever do is confront your worst internal fears (Jungian shadow, negative internal critic, vulnerable child), you can either spend your life, running from it, hiding from it, or run towards seeking to get through it (inner healing). What animal do you want to be?

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