05/12/2025
Have you ever noticed that you can feel grounded with your colleagues, shut down around a manager, hyper-alert with a client, and suddenly flooded with emotion during a performance review?
There’s a reason for that—your attachment patterns don’t switch off when you walk into the workplace.
Although many people assume attachment theory only applies to childhood bonds or intimate relationships, it plays a far bigger role in professional settings than we often realise. In my work with leaders, teams, and high-performing professionals, I see daily how attachment influences the way we respond to change, pressure, expectations, leadership dynamics, collaboration, and even creativity.
Think of attachment as your internal relationship blueprint—an operating system that drives how you seek security, navigate uncertainty, and interpret the intentions of the people around you.
Here’s how the four core patterns commonly show up at work:
Secure Attachment
Grounded, reliable, and constructive under stress. They communicate clearly, take feedback in stride, and naturally strengthen team culture. While they often become the steady anchor in a team, they can overlook risks when they assume trust is mutual without checking.
Anxious Attachment
Attuned, committed, and deeply invested in relationships. They think carefully, work hard, and try to pre-empt problems, but may second-guess themselves or overextend to feel safe. With boundaries and more direct communication, their emotional insight becomes a genuine asset.
Avoidant Attachment
Independent, composed, and organised in challenging environments. They like room to think and work, but may withdraw from emotional conversations or be misread as detached. When they treat emotions as information instead of intrusion, they often become clear, measured decision-makers.
Disorganised Attachment
Intuitive, imaginative, and often ten steps ahead. They bring strong instincts and unconventional ideas, but can react unpredictably when stressed. With stability, clarity, and consistent relational support, their creativity often becomes a catalyst for innovation.
Here’s the part most professionals overlook:
Attachment isn’t a fixed personality label—it shifts based on context, power dynamics, and perceived safety. Our reactions at work are often less about the task and more about the relational environment surrounding it.
The real opportunity?
Don’t battle your attachment patterns—use them.
Every style holds strengths. The key is learning to recognise, regulate, and harness them in ways that support your wellbeing and career.
