06/10/2022
Our three-part series with Drs. John and Julie Gottman The Gottman Institute—clinicians, researchers, and authors of the new book “The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy”—continues!
As they write in their actionable guide to relationship-building:
“We’ve studied more than 3,000 couples in the Love Lab, following some for as long as 20 years, and we’ve studied more than 40,000 couples about to begin couples therapy. And we’ve discovered that there are universal factors that make or break a relationship, that predict whether a couple will stay together happily, or not.
First, a couple needs to stay curious about each other. We all grow and change over time. Successful couples know this and take the time to make and expand their ‘love maps’—their knowledge of each other’s inner worlds.
Second, the couple needs to share fondness and admiration. That means, among other things, seeing and appreciating the good things your partner does, finding and focusing on the things you admire about them, and expressing these things out loud or with touch.
And third, the couple turns toward each other instead of turning away. That means they make and respond to what we call ‘bids for connection.’ Bids can range from little things, like calling each other’s names, to big things, like asking for deeper needs to be met. Successful couples are savvy enough to notice when their partner is making a bid, and they drop what they’re doing, if necessary, to engage.”
Listen to the Gottmans talk about “The Love Prescription” on .
https://bit.ly/3Cw7WTc
