02/10/2025
A child’s love wants to fix and make everything ok for the family, especially the parents. This is what we refer to as “blind love” in Constellation work. It’s also a result of the consciousness level at the time, when we are young and impressionable, and ultimately led by survival to belong.
It’s led by a need for safety.
As we get older, these patterns replicate within our new families and partnerships.
Constellation work reveals the ways we love and the dysfunction behind the behavior. We know there’s dysfunction when it leads to pain and repetition. A Constellation would reveal how you love, and from where it stems, to then disentangle you from it, so you can stand in the right place as the little one, and not the big one (in the generation before) that your parents are and were then.
When we aren’t standing in the right place within the family, like taking on the responsibility to save others, this makes us ‘bigger’ and in a generation that doesn’t pertain to us. As a result it takes away our life force, leaving us depleted and likely rejected as well, as the family might not want to be saved.... despite their actions. Discovering this and discovering new ways of loving brings us from ‘blind love’ to ‘conscious love.’
This is a way to freedom!
And as we learn to love in new ways, a way that doesn’t drain us but hopefully fills us up, then we have more energy for our own lives. Your life force is for you first and foremost. When you have it, you have energy for life and for love. This way loving others can give energy instead of take it from you.
And if this relates to you and your family today, remember you are only one person. The impulse to do it alone or to 'save everyone' could have resonance from the past...
