06/01/2026
Thank you Helene Brenner for writing this book. It gave me so much. It´s 23 years old now but still one of my favourite Focusing books. 💜
Dr. Helene Brenner and Larry Letich LCSW
There’s a moment many women recognize but rarely name: when life looks fine on the outside, yet something inside feels dimmed, muted, or strangely far away. Not broken, just unheard.
I Know I’m in There Somewhere by Helene Brenner is written for that moment.
This isn’t a loud, motivational book telling you to “reinvent yourself.” It’s quieter than that. More intimate. Brenner doesn’t assume you’re lost, she assumes you’ve been listening to everyone else for too long, and your own voice has been waiting patiently in the background.
Key Lessons & Takeaways:
1. Losing yourself often happens slowly and quietly:
Brenner shows how self-abandonment isn’t usually dramatic. It happens through small, repeated choices: saying yes when you mean no, shrinking your needs, prioritizing harmony over honesty. Over time, your inner voice doesn’t disappear, it just stops interrupting.
2. Your inner voice isn’t loud or forceful, it’s calm and steady:
Many women think they don’t have intuition because they expect it to shout. Brenner reframes this beautifully: your inner voice often speaks as a soft knowing, a sense of ease or unease. Learning to hear it means slowing down, not pushing harder.
3. Being “nice” can cost you your authenticity:
One of the book’s strongest insights is how social conditioning teaches women to be agreeable, accommodating, and self-sacrificing,often at the expense of truth. Brenner doesn’t criticize kindness; she questions kindness that requires self-erasure.
4. Anxiety is often a signal, not a flaw:
Rather than treating anxiety as something to eliminate, Brenner suggests listening to it. Anxiety often arises when you’re living out of alignment with yourself, when your outer life contradicts your inner truth.
5. Reclaiming yourself requires small, brave honesty:
Authenticity isn’t a grand declaration, it’s a series of quiet, courageous moments. Saying what you feel. Trusting your timing. Allowing disappointment rather than resentment. Brenner emphasizes progress over perfection.
I Know I’m in There Somewhere is not about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you were before you learned to disappear.
BOOK: https://amzn.to/4qDsAHo