05/09/2024
Embracing Possibilities:
Breaking Free from the Illusion of SUCCESS.
As we navigate through life, we often use force or control in an effort to secure happiness. We convince ourselves that if everything goes according to plan, we'll be succesful. Yet, when reality kicks in, disappointment slaps us in the face (and the gut). We begin to measure our worth and success by these fleeting moments of satisfaction or failure. A miserable life of hope and comparison.
Success becomes our guiding star, and we shape our world to align it with our desires. We plan in detail, from making reservations at our favorite restaurant to avoiding new ventures without exhaustive research. This approach turns life into a game of control and avoidance.
When we succeed in sidestepping unwanted outcomes, we are successful and feel a temporary sense of relief. When things go our way, we are also successful. But over time, this constant effort to manage every aspect of our lives takes its toll. Success becomes the pursuit of predictability and that drains our energy and creativity.
Here are some of the hidden costs:
➡️1. Constant Vigilance: To maintain control, you must be everywhere at once, always on guard, and this is exhausting.
➡️2. Boredom and Discontent: When everything goes according to plan, life becomes a drag. The lack of new challenges can leave you feeling restless and unfulfilled, bringing you back to the very unhappiness you sought to avoid.
➡️3. Pressure to Perform: The burden of making sure that everything goes as expected falls solely on you. The belief that success hinges on precise outcomes stifles spontaneity and joy.
➡️4. Stagnation: When you only achieve what you’ve already anticipated, life loses its vibrancy. There's no room for growth or surprise, and without that, there's no real aliveness.
In the end, you're left feeling stuck. You may achieve what you wanted, but it lacks excitement, or you fail to achieve it and feel depleted. Either way, you’re not truly fulfilled.
This predicament stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to navigate life successfully. When we define success solely by outcomes that match our expectations, life becomes predictable, uninspiring, and devoid of wonder.
To live an extraordinary life, we must take the risk of embracing the unknown. You might not be able to create what you want. You might feel rejected and misunderstood. You might not be respected and upset others. Success doesn’t exist. It never did, but we invented it, so we have something we can measure our worth by. But inherently it doesn’t mean anything.
True inspiration and joy come from stepping into the unfamiliar and releasing our grip on outcomes. By opening ourselves up to all possibilities—including those we fear most—we unlock the potential for an amazing, vibrant life.
You can learn this. And when you master it, you will know where to look to find Your Life.
How do you perceive success? And what does it mean to you?
Is it your definition based on your own ideas? Or did you inherit them from your family or culture or somewhere else?
Don't try to answer them. Stay in the questions for a while.
If you want to break free from the definition and open up to possibilities, feel free to contact me. I have a great exercise for you where you find out how to take the first step towards the possibility of being free!
Sending love
💕
Esther Verwoord
(Photo of me taking a break in the The body retreat - Oostenrijk at Dom Aurora: Rut De Geeter)
