Ester Drabs, perinatale begeleiding

12/06/2021

You are enough for your baby. It is the modern world that is not enough.

Human beings are meant to distribute caregiving among a range of adults in their community. “In a typical hunter-gatherer clan (and our brains have not evolved far from this) for every child under 6 there were four more developmentally mature people who could model, discipline, nurture and instruct the child. We now think that one caregiver for four young children is “enriched”... 1/16th of what the socially developing brain is looking for.” (Bruce Perry)

It is not you that is inadequate or failing as a parent: it is the world around you. You’re doing a great job from a position of disadvantage, especially now with the pandemic and its impact. We need each other, our families, our communities, and we need our governments to recognise the importance of investment in the first three years of family life. Supporting babies and their parents right at the start makes such a long term difference to the health of a society.

Using a carrier can be one way to help meet your baby’s needs for connection and closeness without having to ignore or sacrifice your own needs, and also to be able to care for more than one child (one in the sling while you’re engaging with the other!) Your co-parent/alloparents can use them too, even your child’s nursery carers. Slings can be a way to help you feel more in control, more confident that you’re nurturing your baby as life swirls around you.

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04/06/2021

No other society in the history of this planet has ever asked a single adult to provide the physical, social, emotional and material needs of multiple children by themselves.

You are not broken, dear reader who has small child/ren and feels overwhelmed and like you’re not good enough. You are *not* the problem, nor is your child!

29/04/2021

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but attachment parenting in a detached society is exhausting.
No. It’s not your baby.
There is nothing wrong with them if they want to be held all the time.
No. It’s not you.
You’re not doing it wrong.
Your feelings of exhaustion and depletion and being touched out are normal- considering the weight you’re carrying. Those feelings, and the deep ache underneath them - are a reminder that you were never meant to do this alone.
Babies want to be held. And we want to hold them close. Exclusive/extended breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing- all of these are intuitive, ancestral practices that have kept our species alive throughout history. Attachment parenting is just parenting!!
But never before have we parented in such isolation. There were always other hands stirring the soup pot, other aunties, and sisters, and uncles and grandmas, and cousins, and neighbors helping with the daily tasks and child rearing. Other arms carrying the weight of raising humanity. Together.
And now, it’s just you. Alone in the kitchen, trying to stir the soup and bounce the baby and play with the toddler and keep an eye on the big kid and answer the phone and sweep up the mess and tackle the laundry and .....
No matter how magical your baby wrap is — it can’t take the place of a whole village.
So no, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just trying to stay connected in a world set on tearing you apart.
But don’t give up mama. I know you’re tired and touched out, but you’re giving your baby exactly what she needs. And maybe one day, when she’s raising her own babies,there will be a village around her, helping her hold it all together.

Beautiful words and Pic by on Instagram

07/03/2021

05/03/2021

Niet elke zwangere vrouw is in ‘blijde’ verwachting. Sommigen voelen zich neerslachtig of angstig. Maar om hulp vragen is moeilijk. Dat kan gevaarlijk zijn, want zonder de juiste zorg schuilt er een prenatale depressie om de hoek. “Het is not done om te praten over de slechte kanten van een zw...

04/03/2021

Fathers' mental health matters: their involvement right from the start helps the whole family to thrive.
It is important to recognise that fathers can suffer with mental health problems after their baby is born, up to 1 in 10 fathers are affected, but overall this problem is widely unrecognised. Men and fathers are often missing from parenting support conversations - and when fathers are seen to be doing normal fathering stuff (eg babywearing or skin to skin or playing with their kids) they are either cooed over or shamed. Society doesn’t seem to know how to manage good fathers or recognise when they need support too.

Postpartum mental health problems for men seems to hit around baby’s 3-6month age, after the fourth trimester is over. It is more common in young dads, those whose partners are also struggling with their mental health, or if relationships were strained throughout pregnancy. The challenge of low incomes, or the feeling of greater responsibility to provide can be tough. Fathers can feel disconnected or excluded from the bond developing between mother and baby.

Dads who are present for the birth are much more likely to get early skin to skin. This can be vital where mother has a Caesarean section and/or has to be separated from her baby at birth; dad becomes the primary caregiver with many positive outcomes for baby (see more in the article) and for father, due to the oxytocin release that helps to “rewire” his brain, to become a father.

When dads are lovingly involved from the start, children are more likely to become confident and emotionally secure, better able to regulate their feelings and educational outcomes are better.

https://www.carryingmatters.co.uk/2018/05/01/fathers-mental-health-matters/

27/02/2021

Babywearing can help support perinatal mental health for both parents/caregivers. There are many reasons why it’s helpful; hormone release, soft touch, a tool to calm children (and yourself), a way to keep little ones safe and build confidence.

It helped me: and I know it has helped countless others, as part of a wider support structure. What about you?

25/02/2021

Do you reach out when you need a break? Or do you just keep going?

11/02/2021

Becoming a mom is the single greatest act of my entire life. But, I'm struggling today, because motherhood is just a part of who I am.

08/02/2021

Wanneer het gaat over perinatale mentale gezondheid gaat onze aandacht vaak naar de mama's. Laat ons hier ook het automatisme aan koppelen om te bevragen hoe het met de papa's gaat want ook zij gaan door een hele transitiefase en kunnen somberheid/angst ervaren.

02/02/2021

❤️❤️❤️

[Via: ]

01/02/2021

Zwangere vrouwen zorgen nu beter voor zichzelf, ze werken meer thuis, hebben minder sociale verplichtingen en ervaren daardoor minder stress.

01/02/2021

😭😭😭

27/01/2021

“Wordt het een jongen of een meisje?” Die vraag krijg je wel eens als je met een bolle buik op straat loopt. “Als het maar gezond is” is dan een veelvoorkomend antwoord dat de zwangere dame zal geven. Ik vraag me af of dat voor iedereen wel een oprecht antwoord…

12/12/2020

Euhm... mag ik de aandacht nog eens even vragen?🙋🏼‍♀️

Ik had deze namiddag een vergadering met de mensen van de werkgroep pre- en postnatale dienstverlening vanuit de stad Peer. Hier kwam weer ter spraken dat nieuwe ouders het erg moeilijk hebben in hun prille ouderschap in tijden van Corona. Eenzaamheid, weinig hulp en ondersteuning van familie kunnen vragen, baby niet veel kunnen laten zien...
Ik zou hierover graag wat extra getuigenissen verzamelen voor op de blog. Zo hoop ik enige herkenbaarheid en steun aan te bieden aan ouders die het nu zwaar hebben.

😷 Ben jij bevallen in Coronatijden?
😷 Herken je je in hetgeen ik hierboven omschrijf?
😷 Heb je zin om hier een kort verhaal over te vertellen dat gedeeld mag worden met andere ouders?

Ja? Ja? Ja?

👉 stuur me een berichtje en dan bespreken we de details! 👈

Ohja... dit delen of mensen hierover aanspreken is super lief ♡

12/12/2020

LE BÉBÉ QUI NOUS MANIPULE 😡

🔷 Faire des caprices, « manipuler », implique que le cerveau a la capacité d’exécuter des opérations complexes. Prétendre que le bébé manipule ses parents signifierait que ces pleurs résultent d’une intention consciente de générer un malaise chez les autres afin d’obtenir quelque chose.

🔷 Réglons la question une fois pour toutes : 🔎 le bébé n’est tout simplement pas capable d’opérations aussi complexes sur le plan cognitif. Le bébé (et même le tout-petit) pleure parce qu’il n’arrive pas à gérer la tempête émotionnelle qui a cours, et ce, à cause de l’immaturité de son cerveau. 🧠

🔷 Lorsque vous avez l’impression de vous sentir manipulé dans une situation avec votre tout-petit ou lorsque vous vivez un grand malaise devant une situation qui vous rend émotif, voire en colère contre votre enfant, je vous invite à

💕 prendre un moment de recul
💕 vous questionner sur les émotions que vous vivez
💕 identifier ce qu’elles génèrent à l’intérieur de vous, dans votre cœur et votre tête.

🔷 En comprenant mieux pourquoi les pleurs de votre bébé vous rendent émotif, vous serez plus disponibles pour accueillir votre enfant dans ce qu’il vit, sans avoir l’impression qu’il vous manipule. 😉

[EXTRAIT - Soyez l’expert de votre bébé, 2019, Éditions Midi trente]

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PLUS DE CONTENU ?

📖 Mon livre « Soyez l’expert de votre bébé » aux Éditions Midi trente, disponible partout en librairie:
➡️ https://bit.ly/livre_0-18_mois

🖥 Mes formations en ligne :
➡️ https://bit.ly/formations_en_ligne

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Pour du CONTENU EXCLUSIF :

🌟 Rejoignez mon groupe privé 💕 Les piliers de la petite enfance 💕
➡️ https://www.facebook.com/groups/melanie.bilodeau.psychoeducatrice/

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➡️ melaniebilodeau.com

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➡️ https://bit.ly/insta_psychoed

09/12/2020

05/12/2020

https://www.birthmatters.be/wetenschap/ook-babys-hebben-huidhonger/

Ook baby’s hebben huidhonger! Waarom huidcontact voor baby’s van levensbelang is dec 1, 2020 | Wetenschap Corona heeft ons duidelijk gemaakt dat fysiek contact noodzakelijk is voor ons welzijn. Maar niet alleen volwassenen lijden aan huidhonger, ook voor baby’s is huidcontact een basisbehoefte...