11/11/2025
The air in the clinic has been thicker than usual this Movember, and it’s not just the onset of flu season. No, a far more… present entity has taken root, an entity that has sparked a divide more profound than any political debate. I am, of course, referring to Dr. Kent’s Movember moustache.
It started innocently enough, a faint shadow promising solidarity and good intentions. But as the weeks marched on, that shadow grew into something… monumental. A furry question mark. A very enthusiastic caterpillar. A statement, certainly, but one that has left many of us questioning its very existence.
The reviews, my friends, are in. And let me tell you, we have a full-blown "Shave It or Save It" movement unfolding right before our eyes. The "Savers" – a valiant, if slightly delusional, few – speak of "character," "dedication," and "a certain rugged charm." Bless their optimistic hearts. They are, however, a rapidly dwindling minority.
Because the "Shavers" are legion. And they are vocal. Yesterday, the dam truly broke. Three separate patients, normally models of quiet decorum, made their feelings abundantly clear.
The exasperation is palpable, folks. We can no longer pretend this is just a bit of harmless Movember fun. This is an intervention waiting to happen.
So, a solution – born of desperation and a collective yearning for a clear upper lip – has been hatched. On the reception desk, a humble bottle now stands, slowly accumulating a destiny-altering fund. Dr. Kent, bless his fuzzy-lipped soul, has agreed: if we hit $350, the moustache, in all its glory (or lack thereof), will go. Sooner than later. And every single cent, let me reiterate, every penny, goes to the incredible work of Matthews House Hospice.
And I am begging you. Truly, from the depths of my soul, I am begging you. Look into your hearts, open your wallets, and help us restore Dr. Kent's face to its former, un-mustachioed glory. For the sake of facial symmetry, for the clarity of medical advice, and for my own sanity… make it go. Please. Just make it go.
- Melissa