Jennifer English Counselling

05/29/2026

We begin to notice dysfunction within various systems on the micro and macro levels.

05/28/2026

05/27/2026

05/26/2026

So instead of waiting for that to happen. The most powertul thing you can practice is building a daily relationship with your body that doesn't wait for stressful moments but is cultivated in everyday life.
When life is challenging and when it's going well. – Lexy Florentina

05/26/2026

What is it about being in therapy or talking about trauma that is so threatening to some people? ⠀⁠
⠀⁠
I see the, "F your feelings", crowd, both in society and our families, live by a motto. I think it goes something like this. ⠀⁠
⠀⁠
"All expression of pain and injustice is manipulative victimhood and won't be tolerated. Don't be selfish and bring me down. I get enraged when I feel that people are trying to feel special or get sympathy from me. You don’t see me bleeding all over everyone, do you?”⁠
⠀⁠
In addition, another piece to the "get over it," sentiment may have been being raised by highly manipulative victim-based parent(s) or grew up in un-protective aggressor/codependency. Think good guys and bad guys only. You can't be that abusive without learning it from somewhere, and they are projecting parental figures onto others.⠀⁠
⠀⁠
With my clients who get the classic "Get over it" from friends or family or whomever, I try to remind them to think about the person saying it. Know your audience. They are having a reactive triggered response to hurt in another…⁠
⠀⁠
These folks exhibit symptoms of being abused as children but have no interest in looking at how, they just repeat their family abuse around emotions. Families like this turn appropriate pain into moral failure and shame children for it.⁠
⠀⁠
There is no insight into why their relationships don't work out or why some of their children don't talk to them. Being that unconscious has consequences in life.⠀⁠
⠀⁠
I say this for perspective, not compassion. Real understanding for abusers comes long AFTER our healing. ⠀⁠
⠀⁠
We don't let toxic people tell us who we are anymore. It's also important to only disclose to safe people on similar paths. ⠀⁠
⠀⁠
We also don't let a self-righteous abusive person, who is full of untreated or untreatable trauma, shame us for doing the right thing and recovering. ⠀⁠
⠀⁠
I’m releasing a full video this week on dismantling victim mindset, which is the usual accusation survivors face. ⁠
⁠
What do you think?