06/21/2025
Never Bite the Hand That Feeds You
Thursday, I witnessed something I wish I could unsee.
Sadly, it’s not rare. Incidents like this happen far too often, and they’re a big reason why fewer people are choosing a career in healthcare.
Yes, that day was hectic. But so was last week. And last month. In fact, if I’m being honest, the last 18 years of my practice have felt inhumanely busy. This pace isn’t new, it’s the norm. And the system isn’t built to sustain it.
The real problem?
In healthcare, patients often hesitate to express frustration directly to doctors, so they redirect it toward our front-line staff.
They’re the ones who take the brunt of it.
So after finishing a busy afternoon of skin surgery, I was dropping off some specimens at the front desk when I witnessed something heartbreaking.
A patient, clearly in pain and emotionally distressed, had just received imaging and was desperate for someone to interpret the results. His pain was real. His frustration was valid. His suffering was palpable.
But here’s the catch:
His case wasn’t urgent enough for the ER.
And the next available appointment with his doctor was at the end of July.
His own family doctor had a five-week wait. Which is too long for patients, but from a doctor’s perspective, some have more than 3 months of wait time.
And yes, my wait times are also unacceptably long. My next available slot was in October.
Not to dismiss his pain, but to highlight just how overwhelmed the system really is.
What happened next was disheartening.
This man began directing his frustration at my receptionist.
She sat there, calm, composed, kind and respectful, trying her best to help, even when she had nothing left to offer but empathy and honesty.
He wanted a “quick” appointment.
But in medicine, a “quick” appointment isn’t what people think it is.
We can’t just pop in, glance at an MRI and give a verdict.
It takes time:
Time to review your history, assess your symptoms, rule out dangerous causes, interpret your imaging and come up with a care plan.
That’s not a five-minute favor, it’s a minimum 20-minute commitment. And when 30 patients all want that same 20-minute slot, the system quickly buckles.
I understand the frustration. I’ve been on the other side too.
I’ve waited months for an MRI myself and felt the same helplessness patients feel.
But there’s a line. And Thursday, it was crossed.
That patient became rude, disrespectful and hostile toward my receptionist.
She remained professional and offered every possible alternative.
But he chose to storm out, refusing even the five-week appointment.
In doing so, he shot himself in the foot. That wait list is simply going to get longer.
And more importantly, he made someone else’s day worse for no reason.
Let me be clear:
Our healthcare system is broken.
Waitlists are too long.
Doctors are burned out.
And front-line workers are pushed past their limits.
But none of this justifies harassing, yelling at or threatening the very people trying to help you.
I’ve removed patients from my practice for uttering death threats to my staff.
No matter how much I care about my patients, I will always prioritize the safety, dignity and well-being of my team.
To every patient out there:
We know the system is failing you.
But please, don’t fail the people who are still showing up to care for you, day in and day out.
🙏 Be patient.
🙏 Be respectful.
🙏 Be kind.
Because the people at the front desk aren’t the ones who broke the system.
They’re the ones holding it together.
To my admin assistant:
The composure you showed displayed your ability to want to help even when the system is working against you.
We are already overworked, overwhelmed and stretched to our limit.
Be kind.
