06/08/2024
This hits home. I feel it in my bones. 💖✨
It is hard to be in the wrong relationship, and it is hard to be in the right one. It is hard to stay at a job you hate, and it is hard to pursue your dreams. It is hard to be at war with yourself, and it is hard to heal. It is hard to resist your impulses, and it is hard to be controlled by them. It is hard to stay as you are, and it is hard to be vulnerable, to risk, to leap, to embrace the unknown.
Everything is hard in some way, but you get to decide what you’re willing to hurt for, what you’re willing to try for, what you’re willing to work for.
You get to choose your hard.
We often organize experiences into “feels good” and “feels bad,” when we need to sort them into “feels good,” and “does good,” then “feels bad,” and “does bad.” Sometimes, the things that feel bad for us at the start are what are best for us in the long-run; and vice-versa. Sometimes, when we only live by what feels good in the moment, we lose our longevity, our foresight. In an attempt to be most free, we become more stuck.
It’s a fine balance between trusting your instincts, honoring your heart, and still knowing that many of your feelings will continuously draw you back into the same old cycles, patterns and self-defeating habits that have kept you where you are. At times, you need to trust your emotions. At times, you need to trust your higher knowledge, your logic, your reason. You have to learn how to keep both aspects of your functioning within their own lanes. You will sabotage love if you overthink it, because it’s a matter of the heart. You will sabotage health if you trust your feelings over your knowledge, because it is a matter of the head.
But everything comes with a cost. When you say “yes” to one thing, you say “no” to another. And that’s where the matter of your free will, your value system, your greater vision, must come into place.
You have to decide what is going to matter to you, and what you are willing to fight for.
Then you have to decide to let go of the rest.
