Patricia Wentzell Counselling & Consulting Services

10/31/2025

Some of the pain we carry isn’t ours. It’s older than us, born in someone else’s silence, someone else’s heartbreak, someone else’s war with the world. Yet we feel it as if it began in our own bones.

Galit Atlas’s Emotional Inheritance is a stunning, intimate exploration of how trauma travels across generations, not through DNA alone, but through stories that were never told, feelings that were never processed, and memories that were too heavy to carry openly.

With the steady compassion of a therapist and the courage of someone who has looked grief in the eye, Atlas lifts the veil on the hidden emotional legacies that shape our fears, relationships, and identities. She does not sensationalize trauma, she humanizes it. She makes you pause, reread, and wonder: What am I feeling that doesn’t belong solely to me?

This book doesn’t just inform, it invites you. To look backward with tenderness. To look inward with curiosity. To look forward with a new kind of freedom.

6 Transformative Lessons:

1. Unspoken Trauma Still Speaks
Atlas shows that silence is never empty. When painful stories are buried, children absorb the emotions behind them, the anxiety, shame, or hypervigilance passed down like an invisible heirloom. Understanding this doesn’t assign blame; it reveals context. It allows us to separate our wounds from our ancestors’ wounds, so healing can finally begin.

2. We Repeat What We Don’t Understand
Patterns in families, abandoning, clinging, mistrusting, self-sabotaging, rarely start with us. Atlas gently exposes how the human psyche tries to resolve inherited trauma by reenacting it. But once we become aware of these patterns, we no longer need to live them. Awareness is the first act of liberation.

3. Trauma Lives in the Body
Even when we forget the story, the body remembers: the panic attacks without reason, the fear of intimacy, the unexplained sadness. Atlas highlights the importance of connecting mind and body, listening to the places where history hides, muscles, breath, instincts. Healing isn’t just mental work; it’s embodied release.

4. Telling the Story is Transformational
Secrets isolate. Trauma multiplies in silence. Atlas shows how naming what happened, even when details are incomplete becomes the turning point. Speaking the truth breaks the generational contract of suffering. It turns inherited pain into shared understanding rather than private torment.

5. Compassion Expands the Narrative
Instead of villainizing parents or grandparents, Atlas encourages compassion: they adapted to survive. When we stop viewing their coping mechanisms as failures, we reclaim the ability to see ourselves and them, with softness. Compassion is not excuse-making; it’s context-making.

6. You Can End the Cycle
Atlas offers a hopeful truth: just because trauma is inherited doesn’t mean it’s permanent. Healing in one generation ripples into the next. Boundaries break patterns. Therapy rewrites history. Courage repairs what fear damaged. We become, in her words, “the generation that chooses awareness over silence.”

Emotional Inheritance is a mirror, one that reflects not just who we are, but who we came from, and who we still have the power to become.

It will make you wonder about the tears your mother never cried, the dreams your father buried, the truths your grandparents carried quietly to their graves, and how those stories shaped the way you love, fear, hope, and heal. This book is not about dwelling on the past. It’s about finally understanding it, so the future can be different.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/3J7Nf6j

Enjoy the audio book with FREE trial using the link above. Use the link to register on audible and start enjoying!

10/24/2025

Finally Go From Stressed To Calm

10/24/2025

10/24/2025

10/18/2025

This is a meaningful resource for parents that I highly recommend.

There are books that whisper to your heart before they even begin to teach your mind. Hold On to Your Kids is one of those. I found it during a quiet evening, while scrolling through titles that promised to strengthen family bonds. The name caught my attention first, but it was the voices that sealed my curiosity. Listening to Dr. Gabor Maté and Dr. Gordon Neufeld narrate their work was like being guided by two wise friends who had seen too much of the world to take childhood for granted. Their calm, thoughtful tones carried both warning and warmth, drawing me into a world where parenting wasn’t about control, but connection. It felt less like an audiobook and more like a heartfelt conversation on what truly matters between a parent and a child. Here are seven lessons that stood out to me, reshaping how I think about children, attachment, and love itself.

1. Children don’t need to be controlled, they need to be connected: The authors made it so clear that attachment is the foundation of influence. As I listened, I could almost feel the truth of it. When a child feels deeply connected to a parent, guidance flows naturally. But when that bond weakens, parents lose their emotional authority, and peers take their place. This struck me deeply, reminding me that love, not power, is the true bridge to a child’s heart. For any parent, this insight can restore patience and tenderness where frustration once lived.

2. Peer orientation is quietly eroding the parent-child bond: This was one of the hardest truths to accept. The book shows how society now pushes children toward peers for identity and belonging, leaving parents sidelined. As I listened, I could almost hear the sadness behind Neufeld’s voice, urging parents to reclaim their place in their children’s hearts. It made me rethink the idea of “socializing” kids too early, and how fragile attachment becomes when peers become the primary influence. Anyone who listens carefully will begin to see why so many young people feel lost and disconnected.

3. Attachment is not optional, it is survival: The authors use vivid examples to show that children are wired to attach. The question is not whether they will attach, but to whom. That statement echoed in my mind long after the chapter ended. It reminded me that when children turn away from parents, they will inevitably turn toward something or someone else. This realization alone can help any parent refocus on building emotional safety before worrying about behavior or performance.

4. Discipline without relationship leads to rebellion: This lesson came through powerfully. The authors explained that discipline works only when it flows from a trusted bond. When a child feels disconnected, correction feels like rejection. Hearing it said aloud, I realized how often adults try to fix behavior without first repairing connection. This lesson taught me that the key to better discipline lies in empathy, not enforcement. It is a shift that could transform family dynamics entirely.

5. The digital world deepens peer dependence: In one of the most eye-opening parts, the authors describe how technology has become a substitute for real connection. I could feel the weight of their words as they explained how screens amplify peer orientation, trapping children in shallow emotional loops. It made me think of how easily parents can lose touch while thinking their kids are just “keeping busy.” This realization reminded me that technology needs boundaries, not as punishment, but as protection for what truly matters: human closeness.

6. Parents must reclaim leadership through warmth and presence: What I loved most about this book is how it restores confidence in gentle authority. The authors reminded me that being a parent isn’t about dominating, it’s about guiding from a place of calm strength. As I listened, their words gave me a sense of hope that leadership can be both firm and tender. This lesson can empower any caregiver who feels uncertain or weary, teaching them that consistency and care speak louder than rules.

7. Reconnection is always possible, no matter how distant things have become: Perhaps the most comforting message was that it is never too late. The authors spoke about the possibility of rebuilding trust and closeness even after years of separation or misunderstanding. That part moved me deeply. It reminded me that attachment is resilient, and that love, when expressed with patience, has the power to heal old wounds. For anyone who feels they have lost their child emotionally, this lesson is a quiet promise that hope still lives.

Book/Audiobook: https://amzn.to/4qmChKW

You can access the audiobook when you register on the Audible platform using the l!nk above.

08/20/2025

Living with or loving someone whose emotions feel like a ticking time bomb can be exhausting. You never know what will set them off—one moment, everything seems fine, and the next, you’re walking through an emotional storm of anger, blame, or tears.

Many people in this position start to question themselves, constantly second-guessing their words and choices, until it feels like they’re walking on eggshells just to keep the peace.

Paul Mason’s Stop Walking on Eggshells was written for exactly these moments—for those caught in the draining cycle of trying to cope with someone who may be struggling with borderline personality disorder (BPD) or similar patterns of emotional volatility.

This book offers real, practical strategies to navigate relationships that can otherwise feel impossible.

Here are 5 In-Depth Lessons from the Book

1. Understanding the Nature of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
One of the most important insights the book offers is clarity. It explains BPD in a way that is compassionate, yet realistic. People with BPD often experience intense fears of abandonment, unstable relationships, and volatile emotions. Recognizing these patterns is the first step for loved ones—because once you understand that these behaviors are not necessarily about you, but about the disorder, you can begin to separate the illness from the person. That shift in perspective can reduce guilt and self-blame, while also opening the door to healthier responses.

2. You Can’t Control Their Emotions, But You Can Control Your Response
The book emphasizes that you are not responsible for fixing or managing someone else’s emotional world. Trying to do so only leads to burnout and resentment. Instead, Mason teaches readers to focus on controlling their own reactions and setting clear, respectful boundaries. For example, instead of getting caught up in the storm of accusations or emotional outbursts, you can calmly disengage, choose not to escalate, and remind yourself that their emotional intensity belongs to them, not to you.

3. Boundaries Are Not Punishment—They’re Protection
Many people who live with or love someone with BPD struggle with guilt over setting boundaries, fearing it might make the situation worse. But Stop Walking on Eggshells reframes boundaries as essential for survival. Boundaries are not about punishing the other person; they’re about protecting your mental health and creating stability. The book offers practical tools for setting and maintaining boundaries—like calmly stating what you can and cannot accept, and following through consistently. Boundaries become the lifeline that helps prevent constant emotional chaos from consuming you.

4. Validation Can Defuse Tension
A powerful tool Mason shares is the practice of validation—acknowledging the other person’s feelings without necessarily agreeing with their behavior or conclusions. People with BPD often feel misunderstood and dismissed, which can heighten their emotional responses. Learning to validate—saying things like, “I see this is really painful for you” or “I hear how upset you are”—can de-escalate conflict and create more space for calmer conversations. It doesn’t mean you have to surrender your truth; it means you recognize their experience without getting dragged into an argument over who’s right.

5. Caring for Yourself Is Non-Negotiable
Perhaps the most freeing lesson of the book is that your well-being matters. When you’re constantly managing crises, it’s easy to neglect your own needs, identity, and health. Mason stresses that self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary for survival in these relationships. This may mean finding support groups, seeking therapy, or even making the difficult decision to step back from the relationship if it becomes too destructive. Ultimately, the book empowers readers to reclaim their sense of self, to stop living entirely around someone else’s volatility, and to rediscover peace.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/3UJ8KfM

For FREE, you can listen to the audiobook when you sign up for the Audible Membership Trial using the same link above.