Dr. Gloria Lee, 530-4445 Lougheed Highway, Burnaby, BC (2025)

09/13/2025

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Here’s what most people don’t understand about negativity in relationships - it’s not about being a “bad person.” Your brain is literally wired to look for threats and problems.

This negativity bias kept our ancestors alive, but in modern relationships, it becomes toxic.
When you’re stuck in negative patterns, you’re not choosing to hurt your partner. You’re running old programs from childhood that taught you love wasn’t safe.

Maybe you learned that getting your hopes up led to disappointment. Maybe criticism felt like love because that’s how your parents showed they cared. Maybe you had to point out problems to feel valuable.

The tragedy is that your protective mechanism becomes the very thing that destroys what you’re trying to protect. You push away love because you’re so afraid of losing it.

But here’s the hope - awareness is the first step to change. When you can catch these patterns in real-time, you can choose differently. Instead of “yeah but,” you can try “tell me more.” Instead of looking for what’s wrong, you can practice gratitude for what’s right.

Your partner isn’t the enemy. Your old programming is. When you heal those childhood wounds, you stop projecting them onto your relationship. You learn to receive love without suspicion and give love without conditions.

The truth is, you can’t think your way out of negative patterns. You need guided support to rewire decades of conditioning. My small group coaching gives you the tools and community to finally break free from the negativity trap that’s been sabotaging your love.

Save this post as a reminder to check your negative patterns. Share it with someone who needs to hear they’re not broken - just running old software that needs updating.

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09/10/2025

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You think you’re in an adult relationship, but you’re actually still operating like a child. Emotional immaturity isn’t about your age - it’s about never learning how to handle big feelings and conflict like a grown-up.

Many of us were raised by emotionally immature parents who never taught us these skills. We learned to win arguments instead of solve problems. We learned to take things personally instead of staying centered. We learned to avoid conflict instead of facing it. We learned to blame others instead of taking responsibility.

These patterns worked when you were a kid trying to survive your family. But they’re destroying your adult relationships.
When you need to be right, you’re protecting your wounded inner child who learned that being wrong meant being bad.

When you take everything personally, you’re operating without a solid sense of self. When you avoid difficult conversations, you’re still that scared kid who learned conflict meant danger.

Here’s what most people don’t understand: Emotional maturity isn’t something you automatically get with age.

It’s something you have to actively develop. It’s learning to tolerate discomfort without lashing out. It’s separating your worth from being perfect. It’s taking responsibility even when it’s hard.

You can keep doing the same things and getting the same results. You can keep having the same fights, the same disconnection, the same patterns that leave you feeling lonely even when you’re together. Or you can finally do the deep work to transform who you are at your core.

The Relationship Mastery Accelerator isn’t just another program. It’s a complete identity shift. It’s where you stop being the person who needs to be right and become the person who chooses connection. Where you stop taking everything personally and start showing up as your authentic self.

This is deep, lasting transformation. Not quick fixes or surface-level communication tips. This is how you rewrite the story of who you are in relationship.

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09/08/2025

**Note: This post is intended as general information about healthy relationships and does not endorse staying in situations involving violence, abuse, or harm. If you’re experiencing abuse, please seek professional help and support.**

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Here’s what nobody tells you about relationships: feeling annoyed with your partner isn’t a red flag. Getting tired of their habits isn’t a sign you chose wrong. Seeing their flaws clearly doesn’t mean the magic is gone.

It means you’re human. And so are they.
The couples who last aren’t the ones who never experience the “knowledge without love” phase. They’re the ones who understand it’s temporary and necessary. They know that real love isn’t about finding someone perfect - it’s about choosing to love someone imperfect.

When you’re in phase two, fighting about the same things over and over, remember this: you’re not broken. You’re not incompatible. You’re just in the messy middle where all real growth happens.

The goal isn’t to skip phase two. It’s to move through it with intention, compassion, and the understanding that your partner’s humanity isn’t something to fix - it’s something to accept. It’s also about learning your own shortcomings and triggers that your partner has to deal with too. This self-awareness is just as important as accepting them. It goes both ways.

Because on the other side of normal marital hatred lies knowledge with love. And that’s where the real magic happens.

Comment “RMA” to discover how my small group coaching can guide you through these phases with personalized support and proven strategies.

Save this post as a reminder that your relationship is exactly where it should be. Share it with a loved one who needs this message today.

09/06/2025

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Your trauma isn’t your fault, but your healing is your responsibility. This might be hard to hear, but it’s also incredibly empowering. It means you have the power to change everything.

Most of us learned our relationship patterns in childhood. We watched how our parents handled conflict, showed love, and dealt with emotions. We absorbed those lessons without choosing them. Now we’re adults, unconsciously recreating what we learned.

But here’s what changes everything: understanding where your patterns come from gives you the power to choose different ones.

When you take responsibility for your healing, you stop being a victim of your past and become the author of your future.

Your partner didn’t cause your wounds, and they can’t heal them. That’s your job. But when you do that work, when you learn to respond instead of react, when you show up as your adult self instead of your wounded child - that’s when real intimacy becomes possible.

The cycle of intergenerational trauma stops when someone finally says “not on my watch.” Let that someone be you.

Save this post as a reminder that your healing is in your hands. Share it with someone who needs to hear this message today.

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09/04/2025

The reason daughters-in-law often feel blamed isn’t because they’re actually doing anything wrong. It’s because daughters-in-law have highlighted family patterns that everyone has learned to navigate around instead of addressing directly.

When families have unclear boundaries, the person who questions them can feel like the “problem.” Daughters-in-law aren’t imagining the double standards. They’re not being too sensitive. They’re simply asking for what’s normal in a healthy marriage.

The husband learned that his role was to keep mom emotionally content. He became her go-to person when dad became less available. Now he’s trying to keep both women happy, which feels impossible to him.

The challenging part? Daughters-in-law sometimes get blamed for wanting basic partnership in their marriage. They’re seen as demanding when they ask their husband to prioritize their relationship. But putting the marriage first isn’t selfish - it’s how healthy families work.

This pattern can shift when the husband understands how his role as mom’s primary emotional support is affecting his marriage. He needs to see that constantly protecting his mother’s feelings while minimizing his wife’s isn’t sustainable.

The solution requires gentle growth from everyone. The husband learns to balance being a good son and a devoted partner. The mother-in-law discovers new sources of connection and purpose. The father-in-law steps back into emotional partnership with his wife.

Until these shifts happen, daughters-in-law will continue feeling like outsiders in their own marriages.

Comment “RMA” for more information about my relationship, small group coaching program, where you will master, healthy, and effective relationship principles and practices.

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daughterinlawproblems | motherinlawissues | marriageboundaries | enmeshedfamily attachmenttrauma

09/02/2025

Comment “REBOOT” to learn about my upcoming couples retreat where you’ll get the exact tools to break these cycles and create lasting love. Early bird pricing ends this Sunday!

These truths hit different when you’re ready to hear them. Most couples spend years dancing around these realities, hoping things will magically improve without doing the deep work.

Here’s what I know after 27 years of sitting with couples in crisis: the ones who make it aren’t the ones who never struggle. They’re the ones who face these truths head-on and choose to grow together instead of growing apart.

Your childhood experiences shaped how you love, fight, and connect. Your partner isn’t your enemy - they’re your mirror, showing you exactly where you still need to heal. And that’s not a problem to solve, it’s an opportunity to evolve.

The couples who transform their marriages understand that love isn’t just a feeling - it’s a skill set. Communication, repair, emotional regulation, setting boundaries - these are learnable abilities that create lasting intimacy.

You don’t have to keep repeating the same painful patterns. You don’t have to settle for a marriage that feels more like roommates than lovers. But you do have to be willing to look at yourself honestly and do something different.

That’s exactly what we dive deep into at my couples retreat. This isn’t surface-level advice - it’s the profound transformation work that creates marriages that thrive.

Comment “REBOOT” to secure your spot before early bird pricing ends this Sunday.

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08/28/2025

Comment “REBOOT” to join my RELATIONSHIP REBOOT RETREAT - early bird pricing starts now.

That voice in your head saying you’re not enough? It didn’t start with you. It started when you were small and learned that love came with conditions.

Maybe you had to be the good kid to get attention. Maybe you had to fix everyone’s problems to matter. Maybe you had to shrink yourself to keep the peace.

Now you’re an adult carrying those same beliefs into every relationship. You’re exhausting yourself trying to earn what should be freely given.

Here’s what I see happen: You bend over backwards for your partner. You say yes when you mean no. You apologize for things that aren’t your fault.

You perform. You people-please. You sacrifice your needs thinking that’s what love looks like.

But love isn’t supposed to be earned. It’s supposed to be shared.

The Relationship Reboot Retreat is where couples finally break free from these exhausting patterns and discover what it feels like to love and be loved without conditions.

In just two days, you’ll rewire the beliefs that have been sabotaging your connection and step into a relationship where both of you feel safe to be real.

Early bird registration just opened and these spots fill fast.

This work can’t wait because every day you stay in these patterns, you’re teaching yourself and your partner that you’re not worthy of real love.

You deserve a relationship where you can be authentically you without fear. Where you can have needs without shame. Where love flows both ways instead of you giving everything and hoping for crumbs back.

Comment “REBOOT” for early bird pricing before spots are gone.

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08/27/2025

Comment “REBOOT” to learn about my couples retreat where you’ll practice these exact communication shifts with your partner. Early bird pricing starts now - but only for a short time!

The difference between a fight and connection often comes down to just a few words. Most couples know what NOT to say, but they don’t know what TO say instead.

These five simple shifts can completely transform how your partner responds to you. When you stop attacking character and start addressing behavior, when you get curious instead of critical, everything changes.

Your relationship is literally one conversation away from feeling completely different.

Save this as a reminder and share it with someone who needs to see how powerful the right words can be.

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08/26/2025

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Their behavior toward you isn’t about who you are. It’s about who THEY are.

When someone consistently treats you poorly, criticizes you, or makes you feel small, they’re revealing their own inner world - not your worth.

Healthy people don’t need to tear others down to feel good about themselves. They don’t need to control, manipulate, or diminish others. When someone does this to you, they’re operating from their own pain, insecurity, and unhealed wounds.

This is why you can’t love someone into treating you better. You can’t prove your worth to someone who attacks it. You can’t reason with someone who needs you to be the problem so they don’t have to look at themselves.

Here’s what I want you to know: Your worth isn’t determined by how someone else treats you. Your value isn’t up for debate. The right people will see your worth without you having to prove it.

Stop trying to earn respect from people who aren’t capable of giving it. Stop accepting crumbs from people who should be offering you a feast. Stop making excuses for behavior that you would never accept from yourself.

When you finally understand this - really understand it - everything changes. You stop walking on eggshells. You stop shrinking yourself to make others comfortable. You start choosing relationships that add to your life instead of drain from it.

The people who truly deserve you will treat you like the gift you are. They won’t make you question your worth or wonder if you’re asking for too much. They’ll show up consistently, respectfully, and lovingly.

You teach people how to treat you by what you accept. Start accepting only what honors who you truly are.

If you’re ready to break free from relationships that diminish you and create connections that celebrate you, my Relationship Reboot Retreat is where transformation happens. Early bird registration now open. Comment “REBOOT” for details.

💕 You’re encouraged to register early, as the last retreat was sold out.

08/25/2025

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Most couples I work with know what a good marriage looks like. They can describe it perfectly. But knowing and doing are two completely different things.

You see these traits and think “yes, that’s exactly what we need.” But when you’re in the heat of an argument at home, surrounded by work stress, kids demanding attention, and endless responsibilities - these beautiful ideals feel impossible to practice.

Here’s what I’ve learned after 27 years of working with couples: transformation doesn’t happen in your living room. It happens when you step away from the chaos, look each other in the eyes, and remember why you chose each other in the first place.

The couples who develop these traits don’t do it by accident. They create intentional space to practice them. They invest in their relationship the same way they invest in their careers, their homes, their children’s futures.

Right now, you’re either growing together or growing apart. There’s no neutral. Every day you don’t actively work on these skills is another day your marriage settles into patterns that slowly erode intimacy.

You deserve a marriage that energizes you instead of draining you. One where you can’t wait to come home to each other. Where conflict actually brings you closer because you know how to repair. Where you’re building something beautiful together instead of just surviving side by side.

Time is the one thing you can’t get back. Your relationship won’t fix itself while you’re waiting for life to slow down.

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08/21/2025

Comment “BOOK” to receive chapter 1 of my book on breaking the cycle of repetitive fights in relationships.

Most couples argue about the same 3-5 issues their entire relationship. They think they’re making progress because the topics change, but they’re actually just moving the same emotional wound from room to room.

You’ll fight about money instead of dishes, parenting instead of money, aging parents instead of parenting.

But underneath every fight is the same core fear: “Am I lovable?” or “Am I good enough?” or “Am I safe with you?”

Your partner isn’t the problem. The topics aren’t the problem. Your unhealed childhood wounds bumping into each other - that’s the problem.

Most couples spend decades managing symptoms instead of treating the disease. They create systems and rules and boundaries around the surface issues while the real wound keeps bleeding underneath.

The beautiful news is that when you heal your core wound, all those repetitive fights simply stop. Not because you avoid conflict, but because the trigger that started them no longer exists.

Comment “BOOK” for a free copy of chapter 1 of my book on wound-healing relationships.

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08/19/2025

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The coping skills that kept you safe as a child? They’re destroying your adult relationship.

Maybe you learned to shut down emotionally when things got scary. Now your partner feels locked out and unloved.

Maybe you learned to people-please to avoid anger. Now you’ve lost yourself trying to keep everyone else happy. Maybe you learned to be hypervigilant, watching for signs of rejection. Now you create the very abandonment you fear.

Here’s what’s happening: Your nervous system is still running on outdated software. It’s scanning for childhood dangers that don’t exist anymore. But the damage is real.

Your partner isn’t your unpredictable parent. Your marriage isn’t your chaotic childhood home. But your body doesn’t know that yet.

The good news? Once you recognize these patterns, you can change them. You can teach your nervous system it’s safe to love and be loved.

Start by noticing when you’re reacting from your past instead of responding to your present. Ask yourself: “Is this about now, or is this about then?”

Your relationship deserves the real you - not the defended, protected version that learned to survive.

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Dr. Gloria Lee

09/13/2025

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