Tri Lotus Psychotherapy

Tri Lotus Psychotherapy Providing individual and couples counselling in Calgary, AB.
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Anyone else keep a million tabs open in case they want to read them 🙋🏼‍♀️😂
06/15/2024

Anyone else keep a million tabs open in case they want to read them 🙋🏼‍♀️😂

Here’s your Thursday reminder that you’re allowed to “Protect your Peace.” You are allowed to:🪴 Set boundaries at work, ...
06/13/2024

Here’s your Thursday reminder that you’re allowed to “Protect your Peace.”

You are allowed to:

🪴 Set boundaries at work, home, and in your relationships.

🪴 End friendships that are no longer serving you.

🪴 Spend time cultivating joy.

🪴 Disappoint people.

🪴 Choose who you spend your time with.

🪴 Prioritize self-care.

🪴 Say no.

I acknowledge that there is privilege involved in each of these permissions and it may not be possible or safe to practice them.

Happy Relationship Tip Tuesday! Next time you’re in a conflict with your romantic partner, pause and ask yourself: “Am I...
06/11/2024

Happy Relationship Tip Tuesday!

Next time you’re in a conflict with your romantic partner, pause and ask yourself: “Am I trying to convince my partner or truly listen to understand them?” 🤔

Genuine understanding fosters connection and trust 💚. It’s not about winning the argument but about strengthening your relationship.

Additionally, trying to convince your partner can be perceived as defensiveness. We know defensiveness is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse that inhibits healthy and productive conversation 🙅🏼‍♀️

Tri Lotus Psychotherapy offers couples counselling to couples having difficulty navigating conflict and communication in their relationship. Click the link in bio to book a complimentary consultation call today 👆

Information from the Gottman Method for Couples Counselling and Dr. Orna Guralnik.

Some Therapy Humour for your Saturday 😂✨
05/25/2024

Some Therapy Humour for your Saturday 😂✨

Self Compassion: a recovering Perfectionist’s best friend! 👭(…as well as, noticing and shifting your expectations)When w...
05/17/2024

Self Compassion: a recovering Perfectionist’s best friend! 👭(…as well as, noticing and shifting your expectations)

When we expect ourselves to or feel the expectation from others to be perfect, we can have an extremely harsh inner critic. It will inevitably emerge because perfection is an impossible feat.

If you’d like to work on your perfectionism, reach out via the 🔗 in the bio to book a complimentary introductory call and see how I can help 👆

Suppressing your emotions may seem like a quick fix, but it’s like trying to hold a beach ball underwater - eventually i...
05/15/2024

Suppressing your emotions may seem like a quick fix, but it’s like trying to hold a beach ball underwater - eventually it’ll bounce back with even more force 🏖️💥

Embrace your feelings, even the tough ones 💛

Know that if you need help navigating this, reach out at the 🔗 in bio for a complimentary phone consultation to see how Tri Lotus Psychotherapy can help 👆

“Flow” refers to a state of complete absorption and engagement in an activity. It’s like being “in the zone” where you’r...
05/13/2024

“Flow” refers to a state of complete absorption and engagement in an activity. It’s like being “in the zone” where you’re so involved in what you’re doing that you lose track of time and forget about everything around you ✨

It typically happens when the challenge of the task matches your skill level, so you feel both challenged and capable.

Some of the mental health benefits of being in “flow” are:

🪴 Increased motivation and productivity
🪴 Increased satisfaction and fulfillment
🪴 Reduced stress
🪴 Increased pleasurable feelings

What activities in your life bring on “flow?” What could you incorporate more of to prioritize this state? Let me know in the comments 👇🏻

Information from Positive Psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

This is your Monday morning reminder to be kind to your mind 🧠 ✨All it ever does is try to help you, even if its ways of...
05/06/2024

This is your Monday morning reminder to be kind to your mind 🧠 ✨

All it ever does is try to help you, even if its ways of doing so are no longer serving you/helping in the long run 🩵

Some Friday Humour: Perfectionism and People Pleasing edition ✨😅
05/04/2024

Some Friday Humour: Perfectionism and People Pleasing edition ✨😅

Happy Relationship Tip Tuesday! This week, try the Appreciation Jar challenge! ✨Each day, take a moment to write down on...
04/30/2024

Happy Relationship Tip Tuesday!

This week, try the Appreciation Jar challenge! ✨

Each day, take a moment to write down one thing you appreciate about your partner and place it in the jar. At the end of the week, read them together. It’s a simple, yet powerful, way to cultivate gratitude and strengthen your bond 🩵

Some of the benefits to this practice:
🪴 Shift your perspective to thinking about what you appreciate about your partner, rather than what frustrates you about them.

🪴 May buffer against conflict

🪴 Reading through the appreciations will offer a chance to connect and improve emotional intimacy

🪴 Building a culture of appreciation in your relationship is the antidote to contempt (ex. name calling, snide remarks or gestures). Contempt is the most harmful of the four horsemen in communication.

Tri Lotus Psychotherapy offers both individual and couples counselling if you’d like to strengthen your relationship! Reach out at the 🔗 in bio to book a first session or complimentary introductory call 👆

What do you think? 😂🤔
04/24/2024

What do you think? 😂🤔

Happy Relationship Tip Tuesday! I wanted to put the focus on Emotional Bids for Connection 🩵 They are the small or big m...
04/23/2024

Happy Relationship Tip Tuesday!

I wanted to put the focus on Emotional Bids for Connection 🩵 They are the small or big moments, either passive or direct, where us or our partners reach for us.
Some include:

🪴 Telling us about their day
🪴 Reaching for our hand
🪴 Asking us to do an activity, cuddle, or just listen
🪴 Suggesting you cook together
🪴 Directly asking for connection

In these moments we have a choice. We can turn towards (and put some money into our emotional bank account) or we can turn away (ignore or reject the bid).

Having a large emotional bank account can help to buffer against conflict and increase connection and intimacy in a relationship.

I invite you to notice the ways in which your partner makes bids for connection and try turning towards 💛

Credit goes to the Gottman Institute for their research and information on this topic.

Some Saturday Humour 😂✨ Anxiety Edition
04/13/2024

Some Saturday Humour 😂✨ Anxiety Edition

It’s Relationship Tip Tuesday! Apologies can be a great chance to repair and increase emotional connection with your par...
04/09/2024

It’s Relationship Tip Tuesday!
Apologies can be a great chance to repair and increase emotional connection with your partner 🩵

A true, genuine apology can signify to your partner that you understand and love them enough to take accountability and make this repair.

However, an apology is not just an “I’m sorry.” It needs to outline the 3 R’s in this post for it to be truly meaningful ✨

For help in navigating conflict in your relationship, click the 🔗 in bio to book a complimentary 15 minute phone consult to see how couples or individual therapy may be helpful for you 👆

Some mid-week humour 😂 Perfectionism edition ✨
03/27/2024

Some mid-week humour 😂

Perfectionism edition ✨

Some Sunday humour to end your week 😂: Anxiety edition ✨
03/17/2024

Some Sunday humour to end your week 😂: Anxiety edition ✨

Some humour to celebrate the weekend ☺️People pleasing edition part ✌🏻
03/09/2024

Some humour to celebrate the weekend ☺️

People pleasing edition part ✌🏻

Journaling ✍️: your personal pathway to wellness. Journaling provides a safe place to explore your inner world, deepen s...
02/23/2024

Journaling ✍️: your personal pathway to wellness.

Journaling provides a safe place to explore your inner world, deepen self-awareness, and gain clarity. For these reasons, it can be a powerful place to further explore your people pleasing tendencies and the impact they are having on your life ✨

So, grab your favourite notebook (or celebrate the deep work you’re willing to engage in by buying a new one 😉) and give journaling a try today. I invite you to notice how you feel before and after 🧡

The High Cost of People-PleasingPeople pleasing can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. Sure, saying ‘ye...
02/19/2024

The High Cost of People-Pleasing

People pleasing can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. Sure, saying ‘yes’ to everyone else’s needs might seem noble at first, but let’s talk about the hidden costs:

🍃 Self-Abandonment: When we prioritize others’ needs above our own, we neglect our own self-care and authenticity. We lose touch with who we are and what truly matters to us.

🍃 Resentment: We end up feeling taken advantage of, misunderstood, and unappreciated by those we’re trying so hard to please.

🍃 Anxiety and Stress: The pressure to constantly meet others’ expectations can lead to chronic stress and anxiety. We’re constantly on edge, worried about letting people down or being judged for not measuring up.

🍃 Lack of Boundaries: People-pleasers often struggle to set healthy boundaries, leading to a lack of respect for their time, energy, and personal space. We become doormats, constantly sacrificing ourselves for the sake of others.

🍃 Diminished Self-Worth: We may start to believe that our value as individuals is dependent on others’ approval and validation.

🍃 Strained Relationships: People pleasing can lead to difficulty in our relationships, as it can make it challenging to connect with others, be vulnerable, and show up as our authentic selves.

🍃 Emotional Exhaustion: People-pleasers may find themselves feeling drained and overwhelmed as they try to meet unrealistic expectations.

🍃 Burnout: Theconstant pressure to prioritize others’ needs and neglect your own can result in burnout.

But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to be this way. Through therapy, self-reflection, and practice, we can learn to prioritize our own needs, set boundaries, and cultivate authentic connections with others.

Reach out at the link in my bio for a complimentary introductory call to see how I can help you reclaim your power and start living life on your own terms. 💪✨

The truth is, all of our behaviour has a purpose. Even the ones that may not be serving us anymore, we do for a reason ✨...
02/15/2024

The truth is, all of our behaviour has a purpose. Even the ones that may not be serving us anymore, we do for a reason ✨

With people pleasing, there are many benefits that keep us in it.

🪴 The possibility of upsetting someone can bring up fear, anxiety, sadness. By people pleasing we avoid/escape these uncomfortable emotions.

🪴 At the heart of people pleasing is feeling not good enough - like we won’t be accepted by others as we are or if we honour our own needs. By people pleasing we escape this feeling because making others happy can bring on brief feelings of “being enough.” Brief being the key word 💛

🪴 Typically people pleasers will identify themselves as helpers, caregivers, a loving parent/daughter/friend etc. So, by people pleasing we are supporting our self-identity.

🪴 When we honour our own needs above others, conflict may ensue - especially if they are used to us putting them first. By people pleasing we avoid this conflict.

🪴 Finally, it’s familiar. We’ve probably been people pleasing since childhood so, even though there are costs to it, it’s comfortable. Change can be uncomfortable.

But, what is people pleasing costing you?

If you’re tired of people pleasing and need some support in learning how to put your needs first, reach out at the link in the bio for a complimentary introductory call 👆

Some humour to start your week: People Pleasing edition 😂💛
02/13/2024

Some humour to start your week: People Pleasing edition 😂💛

The fear of upsetting others or being disliked by them is a real one! It’s a big reason for ignoring our own needs to pl...
02/09/2024

The fear of upsetting others or being disliked by them is a real one! It’s a big reason for ignoring our own needs to please others 🙅🏼‍♀️

However, in life, we come with a backpack of experiences and traits that will shape who we want to spend time with and who we choose not to.

We have a tendency to judge others due to the judgment we have for ourselves. This means that the judgment you face from others has more to do with the judgment they have for themselves (or past experiences) than anything to do with you 💛

What are your thoughts on this? Let me know in the comments below! 👇🏻

Let’s talk the vicious cycle that keeps us sucked into people pleasing 👇🏻 🪴 Internal Pressure: we feel pressure within o...
02/08/2024

Let’s talk the vicious cycle that keeps us sucked into people pleasing 👇🏻

🪴 Internal Pressure: we feel pressure within ourselves to please others. This may be due to fear of judgment, childhood trauma, wanting to avoid discomfort with upsetting others, avoid conflict etc.

🪴 External Pressure: the more we people please, the more others come to expect that we’ll put their needs first (or they may not even realize that we’re putting our needs second). The more others expect this, the more difficult it may be to change our people pleasing behaviour because the risk of upsetting others (that internal pressure) is higher.

🪴 Burst of Dopamine: to add to this vicious cycle, when we make others’ happy we tend to experience a burst of dopamine - we feel positive emotions. This reinforcers our need to people please because we feel good doing it.

However, it’s important to note that people pleasing may be positive in the short term, but in the long term it comes at a huge cost to our mental health.

Check out the blog post at the link in my bio to learn more about the costs of people pleasing 👆

Teamwork makes the dream work, especially in conflict resolution 🤝 Let’s shift from “you vs. me” to “us vs. the problem....
02/06/2024

Teamwork makes the dream work, especially in conflict resolution 🤝

Let’s shift from “you vs. me” to “us vs. the problem.” This is the key to effective communication!

When you collaborate with your partner you can work on solutions to the issue rather than blaming each other. You leave conflict feeling heard, connected and understood 💛. This is a far cry from the resentment that typically follows when you play the “blame game.”

If you find this difficult to do, you’re not alone! Reach out at the link in the bio for a complimentary introductory call to see how I can help - either individually or as a couple 👆

How do we become people pleasers? Let’s talk about it 👇🏻 🪴 It typically develops in childhood: we internalize a lot of o...
02/05/2024

How do we become people pleasers? Let’s talk about it 👇🏻

🪴 It typically develops in childhood: we internalize a lot of our experiences in childhood, so this is usually where core pieces of ourselves develop.

🪴 It may result from experiencing trauma or neglect: when we’ve experienced trauma or neglect in childhood, we may have learned that if we please others we will be safe. This association continues into adulthood. People pleasing may be about self-preservation.

🪴 It may result from having strict parents with high expectations of an authoritarian parenting style: similar to above, if we had strict parents we may have learned that if we achieved or were the “good kid” then we would avoid punishments.

🪴 It may result from having to earn parents’ love and affection, having emotionally unavailable parents or parent’s attention being inconsistent: when our parents’ love and attention is inconsistent, or something to be earned, we may overcompensate by working hard to “achieve it.” This may include putting their needs before your own in an effort to earn love and affection.

🪴 It may be representative of the culture you grew up in: some cultures prioritize others’ needs before your own. If you grew up in a culture or a household where this was the case, then from a young age you may have internalized that this is a “rigid rule” that you need to follow.

Are any of these surprising to you? Let me know in the comments below 👇🏻

People pleasing: the fine art of putting others’ needs before your own 🎭 Struggling to say ‘no’? Been there 🙋🏼‍♀️ Strugg...
02/01/2024

People pleasing: the fine art of putting others’ needs before your own 🎭

Struggling to say ‘no’? Been there 🙋🏼‍♀️
Struggling to set boundaries and face conflict? Also, been there 🙋🏼‍♀️

When you’re a people pleaser, saying ‘no’ can feel like scaling a mountain, boundaries seem elusive, and avoiding conflict becomes an art form 🙅🏼‍♀️. However, I’m here to tell you that balancing kindness and self care/self preservation IS possible! 🧡

Reach out for a complimentary introductory call at the link in my bio if this is something you struggle with 👆

Some Thursday afternoon humour 😂🥰
01/19/2024

Some Thursday afternoon humour 😂🥰

While values and goals are distinct, they are interconnected. Values provide the overarching framework for the direction...
01/17/2024

While values and goals are distinct, they are interconnected.

Values provide the overarching framework for the direction of your life, while goals are specific achievements you aim to attain.

Examples of values include,
🪴 Honesty
🪴 Kindness
🪴 Integrity
🪴 Compassion
🪴 Personal Growth

Examples of goals include,
🪴 Completing a degree
🪴 Securing a job
🪴 Learning a new skill
🪴 Travelling to a specific destination

Balancing the pursuit of meaningful goals with alignment to core values contributes to a more purposeful and fulfilling life 💚

If this is something you’d like to explore further, but are unsure how, reach out via the link in the bio to book a complimentary introductory call 👆

Address

7370 Sierra Morena Boulevard SW Suite #226
Calgary, AB
T3H4H9

Opening Hours

Monday 12pm - 8pm
Tuesday 12pm - 9pm
Wednesday 12pm - 9pm

Telephone

+15877412289

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