09/23/2024
Some of you have heard me talk about my friend Ritu. Her funeral was today and I wanted to share with you my thoughts which a kind friend read for me:
"I first met Ritu through Lara and Leanne many years ago, back when I was still going to school in Halifax. From the moment we met, Ritu's laughter and radiant smile were unforgettable. She was always up for any adventure, ready to embrace lif. e with a sense of joy and enthusiasm that was contagious.
In the year 2000, when all our lives were about to take different paths, we decided to have one epic adventure together. Leanne was living in Switzerland, Lara was in Hong Kong, and Ritu and I were in Nova Scotia. We planned a trip to explore Europe, a journey we knew would create lasting memories before we all headed off to the next chapters of our “adult” lives.
Ritu and I traveled together from Halifax, landing in a country where neither of us spoke the language. Despite this, we navigated through the unfamiliar terrain, found our way to the right train, and met up with Leanne, soon to be joined by Lara. It was an epic journey, filled with laughter and the kind of moments that cement friendships for a lifetime.
There are a few things from that trip that stand out:
The sound of one of the 4 of us sleeping on a blow up mattress (which I think was actually pool floaty) - the noise it made everytime someone moved was terrible and kept us awake most of the night either swearing or laughing.
The sketchy people meeting us as we got off the train in Rome trying to rip us off at a local hotel and the elevator that didn’t work if you didn’t manually close the door…something Ritu kept forgetting to do which led to a number of angry sounding calls from the hotel clerk.
And we can’t forget the breastfeeding bus pickpockets that Lara, Ritu and Leanne were able to warn me about just as she was going after my stuff. Little did we know that they had already stolen a couple of Eurorail passes which, once discovered, meant we had to make some quick changes to the plans for the rest of the trip.
It was during that trip that there were hints of something not quite right with Ritu. She would sometimes opt out of activities, and though it puzzled us, we never pushed. It was only later that she shared the struggle she was facing— her balance was off which meant walking was becoming increasingly difficult for her so there were things that she didn’t feel safe to do.
That was the beginning of a long and arduous journey for Ritu, and for those of us who loved her.
As a friend just starting my career in medicine, it was really hard to witness her going through something so confusing to figure out, with even the most experienced specialists struggling to find answers. I vividly remember meeting her in Halifax after a conference, just after she had finally received a diagnosis — a rare, progressive, untreatable, neurological condition I’d never heard of before and have only encountered once since.
Despite the enormity of what she was facing, Ritu confronted it with a grace and optimism that was truly remarkable. She never complained. Not once did she say it was unfair or ask why this had to happen to her. She remained a beacon of strength, her smile unwavering, even as her body was slowly robbed of the things so many of us take for granted every day.
In my career, I’ve seen people lose their ability to fully participate in life, often due to the consequences of their own actions or inaction. Too many give up, claiming they “can’t” do something. Ritu showed me what it truly means to face real limitations, not of her choosing, yet still finding a way to live fully in the moments she had. When she said “I can’t” it was real, not a limitation of her mind or spirit, but of her physical body no longer responding to what she wanted or willed it to do.
She has been, and always will be, an example to me of resilience, courage, and the power of the human spirit. None of us know when or if our abilities will be taken away from us. But Ritu taught me that, no matter what life throws at us, there is always something we can do.
She lived her life with grace and dignity, never letting her illness define her. And as we remember her today, I am filled with gratitude for the light she brought into our lives. Her spirit will continue to inspire me and everyone who had the privilege of knowing her."
I hope this inspires you...
