07/13/2024
“I’m only happy when it raaaains” 🎶
Remember that 90’s song by Garbage? Classic. 😎
Anywho! As a DBT-informed therapist you know I love me an acronym and this is one of my favourites from Tara Brach. It’s a stepping stone to self-compassion and looks something like this.
R - Recognize thoughts, images, sensations, and emotions. 🔎 If you’re not mindful of them, you can’t have a compassionate response to yourself. You have to be aware of your hurt in order to do so. E.g.) “I notice a thought that…”, “I can feel a sensation of…”
A - Allow the experience to be just as it is. 😌 Try to not fight, suppress, or push away the aforementioned. Try creating a little bit of space around your experience. E.g.) “Allow, allow, allow”, “I’m going to let myself stay here for a moment”, “I don’t need to make this go away, even if it’s uncomfortable”, opening your palms upward, half-smile
I - Investigate with interest, care, and concern. 🤔 Tip: try to do so with ease and openness instead of trying “to find the right answer” or “the solution” which can cause more resistance. We want to be like a curious child or an explorer without a map. E.g.) “What might this [thought, image, sensation, feeling] be trying to tell me?”, “Is there an unmet need here?”, “Does this feel old or historical?”
N - Nourish or nurture with self-kindness and compassion. 🫶🏻 Based on what we discovered above, maybe we need some validation, coregulation, soothing of the senses, rest, or something that energizes us. E.g.) “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way”, “It’s hard to not know what you need but I appreciate you trying”, asking someone for a hug or to go on a walk or talk, soothing with music, lighting a candle, making a meal, having a nap, a “good cry”, some form of movement
What do you think of this tool? Let me know in the comments below! 🤍