11/07/2025
The push and pull of autism and ADHD is a complex and often misunderstood experience, especially for those who live with both.
While autism and ADHD frequently co-occur (research suggests around 30–80% overlap), they can create a constant internal tug-of-war.
Each brings its own strengths and challenges, but together, they can feel like being pulled in two different directions at once.
The Push- ADHD’s Drive and Restlessness👇🏼
ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) brings energy, spontaneity, and creativity but also impulsivity, restlessness, and difficulty with focus the executive function.
It’s the push toward movement, stimulation, and new ideas. The ADHD mind is often fast-paced, craving novelty and excitement.
Tasks that feel repetitive or uninteresting can become almost impossible to start or sustain.
This “push” can look like:
• Jumping between projects before finishing the first one.
• Acting on impulse before the brain has caught up.
• Struggling to sit still or to stay in environments that feel restrictive.
• Seeking stimulation- mentally or physically, just to stay engaged.
The Pull Autism Needs for Structure and Control 👇🏼
Autism, on the other hand, is often characterised by a deep need for predictability, order, and understanding.
It’s the pull toward routine, focus, and control. The autistic brain processes information deeply, noticing patterns, details, and inconsistencies others might overlook.
Change and uncertainty can be uncomfortable or even distressing, leading to a strong desire for stability.
This “pull” can show up as:
• Wanting things to be done a certain way to feel safe or calm.
• Becoming overwhelmed when plans change unexpectedly.
• Focusing intensely on specific interests or topics.
• Feeling sensory overload in noisy, unpredictable environments.
Living Between Two Forces 🥴
When both coexist, the result is often a feeling of contradiction, wanting order but craving novelty, needing rest but feeling unable to slow down, longing for connection but finding social interaction draining.
For example:
• The ADHD side may push someone to start new tasks impulsively, while the autistic side pulls back, needing structure and a clear plan.
• The ADHD brain seeks stimulation, but the autistic brain can become easily overstimulated.
• One part wants to talk and share ideas, while the other feels overwhelmed by communication demands.
This push-pull can lead to exhaustion, frustration, and self-doubt.
Many people with both autism and ADHD describe feeling like they’re “too much” and “not enough” at the same time- too restless to feel calm, too sensitive to thrive in chaos.
Strengths in the Struggle
Despite these challenges, there are powerful strengths in the combination. People who are both autistic and ADHD often bring:
• Hyperfocus and creativity — the ability to dive deeply into interests and think in original ways.
• Strong problem-solving skills - approaching issues from unique, often unconventional perspectives.
• Passion and empathy - feeling things deeply and caring intensely about what matters.
When supported and understood, this dual neurotype can lead to innovation, resilience, and profound insight.
Supporting the Push and Pull
Support often means balancing stimulation and structure, allowing flexibility without chaos, and providing routine without rigidity. Helpful strategies include:
• Clear, visual routines that allow space for spontaneity, being able to have autonomy.
• Environments that are sensory-friendly but not monotonous.
• Time for hyperfocus, balanced with gentle reminders to pause and rest.
• Understanding from others- not punishment for inconsistency, but compassion for a brain wired for contrast.
Ultimately, the push and pull of autism and ADHD isn’t a flaw, it’s a reflection of complexity.
It’s the tension between curiosity and caution, order and freedom, intensity and sensitivity.
When we understand this interplay, we can stop trying to “fix” it and start building a world that allows both sides to coexist in harmony.
This is my personal experience as an AuDHDer!
This may not be the same for everyone, as always I just hope this insight is some what helpful.
Michaela ❤️🫂❤️
